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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by wedding date?

147 replies

Jeangenie87 · 17/02/2018 19:13

Friend (not particularly close friend) has booked her wedding for 28th December this year. AIBU in being annoyed at people who book weddings over Christmas and new year? It means we can’t go up north for the holidays to visit my family like we usually would, so ruins the whole holidays for us. It seems quite selfish to me to expect everyone else (and it’s going to be a big wedding so lots of people are invited) to want to celebrate their day bang in the middle of the Christmas period when most people would have plans?

OP posts:
Ivebeenaroundtheblock · 18/02/2018 00:10

Another Christmas bride here, we chose the date precisely because most people have time off.
Don’t go if you don’t want to.

NoKnownFather · 18/02/2018 00:17

OP why not ask the future bride and groom to change the date as it doesn't suit you? I'm sure they wouldn't wish to upset you and will happily oblige!! Grin

SaskaTchewan · 18/02/2018 10:16

"It's almost as though her wedding isn't about you..."
Grin Grin Grin

Cheeky sods! Organising a family event during a traditional family time when many people are off anyway, who does that hey. Oh wait...

toooldforthisgame · 19/02/2018 19:15

I attended a wedding on NYE one year. It was possibly the best NYE I’ve ever spent, despite knowing only a handful of the guests. I was thrilled to have my NYE plans taken care of by celebrating my friend’s marriage.

BlondeB83 · 19/02/2018 19:32

Don’t go.

Nyetimber · 19/02/2018 19:39

One of the loveliest weddings I’ve been to was in Cromer on the day before New Years Eve. The church was stunning with an avenue of Christmas trees, the bride wore a white fur jacket.
We rented a large cottage with a group of friends we usually celebrated New Year with. The groom stayed the night before the wedding as my husband was best man. It was one long party. The children could be looked after by friends on the wedding evening so weren’t irritating and fidgety. Fantastic time for a wedding.

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 19/02/2018 19:40

Ahh SIL had one of her many, many weddings at Christmas and it was lovely. 27 days later it was over, but it was a cracking party.

altiara · 19/02/2018 19:48

If you don’t want to go, don’t go!!! Honestly, they’re not going to miss you if you’re not a close friend.
I’ve been to a family wedding just after Christmas and it was lovely seeing family all together in one place. For a not very close friend, I’d look at where it is and what day it falls on- so this year it’s a Friday giving me Saturday 22 Dec to Thursday 27 Dec with family or Saturday 29 to Tuesday 2 Jan. To be honest, this wedding would suit me nicely as it would break up the week as I usually do a lot of hosting.

What there is no point doing is moaning about it and then going with a big moany face on. Either go and have fun or don’t go at all.

LadySainsburySeal · 19/02/2018 20:02

Lovely time of year for a wedding! My grandparents married on the 28th December and it was lovely celebrating their anniversary slap bang between Christmas and new year.

OhMyGodTheyKilledKenny · 19/02/2018 20:22

Where I work (being a bit vague here but a beautiful setting, old historical buildings used for other purposes all year round) is licensed for weddings.

We had a wedding booked for this Christmas just gone but the weird thing IMO was that the couple didn't want any signs of it being Christmas around - no trees, no holly and ivy, no decorations of any sort . Is that not a bit weird to have a Christmas wedding but there being no reference to Christmas?

(The decorations that had been there were very tasteful BTW - real trees with simple, classic decorations and white lights , we're not talking flashing Santas and neon flashing reindeer Grin)

Jaygee61 · 19/02/2018 20:41

A friend of mine got married on an Easter Monday which I thought was a lovely idea. They effectively have two anniversaries - the date itself and Easter Monday.

We once went to a wedding which was about a week before Christmas. It was lovely, we had a great time but it was a bit stressful having that to get organised for as well as Christmas itself!

graysquirrel · 19/02/2018 21:46

I got married on 29th and it was bliss. Lots of people were off work anyway (civil service shutdown) and everyone was in a chilled mood yet still in mood for celebrating. Suited our small laid back wedding
But then I'm grateful to not have whiny friends like you.

LadyOfTheCanyon · 20/02/2018 06:26

I can see both sides to be honest. It's a time of year theoretically when lots of people have spare time on their hands, but also a time when ( using my friends and family as an example) they are spread far and wide visiting family.

If it were me getting married on the 28th December I would be expecting people to not go/ come back early from places like Jamaica, America, France, Scotland, Sweden and Italy.
It can be a huge imposition at a time when people have already spent lots of money, are stressed and are looking forward to sitting around in their PJs for a week.

On the other hand, if you're getting married in Hull and most of your family and friends are also in Hull then crack on.

Just because I would bend over backwards to go to my good friends wedding whenever it was, doesn't mean I wouldn't also think 'Christmas? Are you fucking kidding me?'

NSM24 · 01/12/2024 17:44

For all the people here saying "just don't go"
.. none of you are answering the question.

No you're not unreasonable to be annoyed. My friend picked the same date and I'm annoyed. I love my friend but her choice is impacting a lot for me. It the end of my mate leave, my birthday, Christmas at home with family and the downtime I need before going back to the slog for another year. Doesn't mean you're going to be mean. You are/we're entitled to be annoyed.

BackforGood · 01/12/2024 21:35

I'm guessing quite a lot of people posting here almost 7 years ago might not still be on MN though........

BIWI · 01/12/2024 22:38

@NSM24 What made you resurrect a thread that's now over 6 years old? And how did you even come to find it?

Jc2001 · 01/12/2024 22:40

Jeangenie87 · 17/02/2018 19:13

Friend (not particularly close friend) has booked her wedding for 28th December this year. AIBU in being annoyed at people who book weddings over Christmas and new year? It means we can’t go up north for the holidays to visit my family like we usually would, so ruins the whole holidays for us. It seems quite selfish to me to expect everyone else (and it’s going to be a big wedding so lots of people are invited) to want to celebrate their day bang in the middle of the Christmas period when most people would have plans?

So, did you go in the end? 😁

BIWI · 01/12/2024 22:43

@Jc2001 FFS - RTFT! This was posted back in 2018. You even quoted the OP, so how could you miss the date?!

mamajong · 01/12/2024 22:59

Yabu, no one is forcing you to go!

BIWI · 01/12/2024 23:16

@mamajong - this is a zombie thread!

AngelontopoftheTree · 01/12/2024 23:21

mamajong · 01/12/2024 22:59

Yabu, no one is forcing you to go!

Maybe the Ghost of Christmas past (6 years ago!) was forcing her to go 👻 🎄 🤪

mamajong · 02/12/2024 07:46

BIWI · 01/12/2024 23:16

@mamajong - this is a zombie thread!

🤣 oopsie thanks for the heads up

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