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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by wedding date?

147 replies

Jeangenie87 · 17/02/2018 19:13

Friend (not particularly close friend) has booked her wedding for 28th December this year. AIBU in being annoyed at people who book weddings over Christmas and new year? It means we can’t go up north for the holidays to visit my family like we usually would, so ruins the whole holidays for us. It seems quite selfish to me to expect everyone else (and it’s going to be a big wedding so lots of people are invited) to want to celebrate their day bang in the middle of the Christmas period when most people would have plans?

OP posts:
WitchesHatRim · 17/02/2018 19:21

Well as you seem to resent her so much don't go!

You could also see your family. The 28th is 3 days after Christmas Day.

You seem to be being a bit OTT

carefreeeee · 17/02/2018 19:21

Maybe it suits her family?

Just don't go I'm sure she won't care

Spam88 · 17/02/2018 19:22

Just don't go Confused

FWIW, id bloody love a wedding over Christmas 💃💃

A1Sharon · 17/02/2018 19:25

Genuinely the most self absorbed thing I have read on here in a long time!Grin
Don't bloody go?!
How very dare she book a date that doesn't suit you? The cheek of her.
Did it ever occur to you that other people might like Christmas weddings? I love them!
YABU.

SaskaTchewan · 17/02/2018 19:25

If you don't want to go, just.. don't go.

People are not selfish because it's not convenient for not-close-friends.
you could say that someone organising their weddings in any half-term or the summer holidays is selfish because it's in the middle of MY holiday. It's never going to be convenient for everyone. Don't be selfish, wish them a happy and only go if you want to.

Marriedwithchildren5 · 17/02/2018 19:25

Perfect date! There's always that lull between Christmas and New year. Visit your family. Simple surely!

SandAndSea · 17/02/2018 19:26

You don't have to go. Let yourself off.

flumpybear · 17/02/2018 19:27

Don't go, or do something different for Christmas - their wedding not your choice

JessyJames · 17/02/2018 19:27

I'd use it as an excuse not to visit anyone over Christmas. But I'm miserable 😁

elessar · 17/02/2018 19:28

For me that would be a great date, there's plenty of time between Christmas and New Year to fill. But if it doesn't suit you, don't go - pretty simple.

SharronNeedles · 17/02/2018 19:29

I agree with you.
You have been invited because they want you there and you want to be there. But now it puts you in an awkward position where you either don't go or sacrifice your Christmas plans.

It's frustrating, however you don't get a say in this. And your friend can have her wedding on Christmas day if she wants! Not your call

C0untDucku1a · 17/02/2018 19:29

Dont go.

Ive had a few relative get married at inconvienient times recently. I actualy said last week people have almost 360 days in the year that wont impact on everybody else. Dates that almost everyone celebrates. Why not use your own?! It is like they dont trust their wedding day to be soecial enough. Examples:

Valentines day wedding.
New years eve wedding.
Christmas wedding.
Mothers day wedding.

Of course theres a chance your date wont suit everybody, but dont choose one that will impact everybody!

Random Saturday in september always a better option.

Hellywelly10 · 17/02/2018 19:30

You've got a great get out if you don't want to go.

PeonyTruffle · 17/02/2018 19:31

I had my wedding on 28th December, everybody came. Nobody whinged about the date and they said it was nice to break up the days between Christmas and new year.

I wouldn’t have been offended if people didn’t come as we understood that it was a potentially tricky date for people.

Don’t go if you don’t want too. Simple.

Odoreida · 17/02/2018 19:31

I went to a 28 Dec wedding last year. Really good friends getting married, so I loved it and was delighted to be there. If it had been a less good friend I wouldn't have gone anywhere near the wedding - as I also wouldn't had the wedding been on any other day of the year. it just seems so ... obvious to me (and clearly others)

Sweetpea55 · 17/02/2018 19:34

I'm sure your Christmas arrangements were the last thought for your 'friend' when she was planning her wedding. With an attitude like yours I'm sure you wouldn't be missed

Winteriscoming18 · 17/02/2018 19:36

I have to agree I think it’s mega selfish to book a wedding so soon after Christmas and between new year. Everyone is busy with Christmas and come afterwards are often skint. We would never entertain going to a wedding at that time of the year unless it was family. I would decline and explain you see your family up north. You won’t be the only ones to decline. If she makes an song and dance about it then that’s down to her for picking a date like that.

MaggieFS · 17/02/2018 19:37

You say it's not a close friend, so even less reason to be concerned if you can't make it. Thanks but sorry is fine and a small gift if you want to, but not necessary.

JaneEyre70 · 17/02/2018 19:37

In the words of Mumsnet, it is an invitation and not a summons. It's a crazy time of year to book a wedding IMO, so they must expect people to not attend for family reasons. Just send a polite RSVP saying it will interfere with family plans, so sadly you can't attend.

BishBoshBashBop · 17/02/2018 19:37

You won’t be the only ones to decline.

Completely disagree.

We have been to two Christmas weddings all fully attended.

WitchesHatRim · 17/02/2018 19:38

If she makes an song and dance about it then that’s down to her for picking a date like that.

The only person making a song and dance about it is OP

ReanimatedSGB · 17/02/2018 19:38

Has she even invited you?

FrancisCrawford · 17/02/2018 19:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DorisDay88 · 17/02/2018 19:39

Love a Christmas wedding myself! Something to look forward to after the festivities and a perfect excuse to wear velvet, sequins and lots of general bling.
Yabvu

Littlepond · 17/02/2018 19:39

I've been to two Christmas time weddings, didn't occur to me it was an issue

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