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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave 2 year old at home?

999 replies

Ember12 · 29/01/2018 22:10

Me and my oh have been discussing going on holiday with the children in in late august, i was telling my mother about it and she offered to look after my 2 year old for the week Smile spoke to my oh and he thought it was a great idea he would ask his parents to help my mother out that week aswell, we would be be able to go to theme/water parks and take the older 2 on rides etc without one of us having to stay with the baby. Would be able to relax alot more around the pool ad my older two are very confident in water. Anyway were having holy hell over it all with my brothers girlfriend what awful and selfish parents we are and how my mother is playing favourites! My mother works 12 hour shifts 5 days a week and takes turns looking after all her grandchildren 1 stays each sunday night so no favouritism at all! She looked after my brothers children for 3 days while they went on a short break. Aibu in accepting my mothers offer? Or does it really make me a selfish and awful mother?

OP posts:
Idontdowindows · 29/01/2018 22:12

For goodness sake, your brother's girlfriend is very unreasonable.

She doesn't get to decide how your parent's spend their time! You're not selfish and awful. The 2 year old is not going to remember anyway and you get to do a lovely active holiday with the rest!

ineedamoreadultieradult · 29/01/2018 22:15

I wouldn't do it, not because of the reasons you have given which is basically your brother's girlfriend is jealous, but because I went to Last Vegas with DH on our honeymoon and left 18 month DS with his Grandparents. He had a lovely time with them.and didn't miss us one bit but I really couldn't enjoy the holiday.

HappyLollipop · 29/01/2018 22:16

Take your mums offer and tell your SIL to mind her own damn business. There's nothing selfish about taking a break as just a couple, enjoy it!

DailyMailDontStealMyThread · 29/01/2018 22:16

Sounds like a lovely opportunity for your 2year old to have some time with her grandma and for you to be able to focus on your older children.

If you are all happy with that then I wouldn’t give a second thought to what someone else thought.

Who will look after DD whilst grandma is at work though?

MissionItsPossible · 29/01/2018 22:17

Brothers girlfriend should take several seats at the back, pipe down and mind her own business and you should all enjoy your holiday Smile

Isadora2007 · 29/01/2018 22:18

I dont think it’s nice at all, sorry. You’re a family. You made a choice to have a baby who is now 2. I’d hate to have a family holiday leaving out a member of the family. Sorry. I do think it’s quite selfish and sends the wrong message to your older children and the younger one too when she is old enough to see the photos etc.

Jengnr · 29/01/2018 22:19

Taking a break as a couple = fine
Taking a break as a family = fine
One on one break with individual child = fine (as long as each child gets a go)

Going away as a family and leaving one member behind = not fine for me.

Sorry.

MyDcAreMarvel · 29/01/2018 22:21

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thegreatbeyond · 29/01/2018 22:24

Couldn't do this, sorry. Baby will miss you so much!

Winteriscoming18 · 29/01/2018 22:24

It doesn’t sit well with me either leaving a family member out especially when you chosen to have another dc. Would be different if it was just the two of you.

windchimesabotage · 29/01/2018 22:24

YANBU a two year old child will not be offended at being left at home.

oblada · 29/01/2018 22:24

Eugh... Obviously you do what you want but I can't see how I'd ever be able to do something like that, my DH would hate it and neither of us would be able to enjoy the holiday... But if you think it's worth it then what your DB's gf thinks is surely irrelevant!

LittleLionMansMummy · 29/01/2018 22:31

Exactly what Jengnr said. I can't imagine taking 7yo ds away on holiday and leaving his 14mo sister at home. He wouldn't want us to, either, even if the age gap does make certain activities harder to do. We're a family of four, not three.

Original poster
Ember12 · 29/01/2018 22:38

Dailymail she always takes a week or two holiday around the time to spend time with family and more insisted on having her! She adores all her grandchildren

I understand where everyone is coming from, this wasnt our original plan she offered and we thought it would be a great opportunity to spend some with our older children and figured our baby wouldnt know the difference but with brother girlfriends drama is has make me think about it more

She is extremely jealous of mine and my mothers relantionship always has been but i am her youngest and only daughter and spend alot more time with her than my older brother

OP posts:
Iluvthe80s · 29/01/2018 22:43

Personally I couldn't leave one child behind and take the other 2-would feel guilty about it. But I absolutely would not judge someone else for doing it. And your SIL needs to pipe the f**k down! none of her damn business!

kittensinmydinner1 · 29/01/2018 22:44

I could do it with only a brief backwards look to smile and wave at 2 yr old grinning from ear to ear at the prospect of a whole weak of spoiling from granny and grandpa.
Don't be guilt tripped OP. Some parents can't bear the thought of separation from any children, some like me (and you) can see the massive benefits to your older children.
If toddler were older and could remember then obviously not - but at two yrs old this will be great fun for all of you.
SIL issue just isn't one. Tell her to bog off and mind her own business.
Have a great time OP your older ones will love having a non baby- centric break with their parents.

TheAntiBoop · 29/01/2018 22:46

How old are the other children?

Aquamarine1029 · 29/01/2018 22:48

You tell your brother's girlfriend to FUCK OFF. This situation is absolutely none of her concern or business. Don't let someone else dictate how you live your life. That bossy bitch needs to learn her place.

Onlyoldontheoutside · 29/01/2018 22:48

Go for it.Your mum will be happy,your baby will be happy and not remember anyway,your older children will be happy and you too.Its only for a week.Your brother's girlfriend may not be happy,so what.
Have a great time.

Marriedwithchildren5 · 29/01/2018 22:49

I completely get where you are coming from. 2 older dc and 1 2 year old dc. I always feel like im trying to spend quality time and failing. Dm steps in so we can do swimming. Cinema. Theatre etc. Family holiday though. Thats harsh.

Thierryhenryneedisaymore · 29/01/2018 22:49

Tell your SIL to kind her own business.

I would not leave my two year old behind though, i don't think it is the right thing to do, i really don't.

LadyLapsang · 29/01/2018 22:53

Could you not pay for your mother to come with you, then she could spend some time with all the children, but also have a holiday too.

moggiek · 29/01/2018 22:55

Your mum must be knackered!

AManWalksIntoABarOuch · 29/01/2018 22:55

Ignore girlfriend.
I'd feel sad at leaving behind one of my children. :(
As someone else said, I'd either take them all or none.

SWBCRTMWSC · 29/01/2018 22:58

If this was a weekend somewhere fine, but I wouldn’t want to leave a 2yo for a whole week.