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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask what helped your baby sleep through?

165 replies

TrinitySquirrel · 22/01/2018 22:40

I know it's generally a development leap thing. But I'm getting a bit bitter about everyone else's babies (in my friends) sleeping through from 4/6/12/20/whatever weeks.

We've gone through a mild hell of between 20 minute to 4hourly sleeps for the past 8 months and it's making me so tired now I'm getting physically sick. The most he will sleep is 3-4hrs at a time during the night, then wakes up for a feed (formula) and goes right back to sleep. The same times generally every night. He is definitely hungry because he demolishes 7oz and all hell breaks loose if there is any less, then sleeps for another 3-4hrs. Or 2hrs if he soaks through.

How can I get him to take more in the day so he takes less at night so we can night wean him? He's on two solids meals a day with a few snacks and 4 or 5 7oz bottles plus 2 at night. We did get him up to 8oz bottles but as he's started solids he seems to have reduced his intake naturally.

6am - Bottle (crying for)
Sleeps again until somewhere between 8am and 9.30am - wakes up happy and babbly!
10am - Bottle with some thick porridge or toast to play with more than eat as never that hungry first thing
1pm - Lunch Solids + Water (eats all of it)
3.30pm - Bottle
6.30pm - Dinner Solids & Water (eats all of it)
8.30pm - Bed time bottle then sleeps for a few hours
11.30pm - Bottle (cry
2am - Bottle
6am - Bottle
Repeat

OP posts:
Original poster
TrinitySquirrel · 22/01/2018 22:42

11.30pm - Bottle (crying for)
2am - Bottle (crying for)
6am - Bottle(crying for)
Repeat

Posted too soon!

What am I doing wrong? If anything? He is a happy healthy giant tall 8m old who weighs in line with his height (all off the chart really for every %) and is getting his SEVENTH tooth Blush

I just want sleep Sad

OP posts:
Putyourdamnshoeson · 22/01/2018 22:45

I'm sorry. Time. Time is the only answer
I mean make sure he gets sleeps during the day, some fresh air and daylight every day. But the night sleeping thing is time.

People might recommend cry it out. I won't

throwcushions · 22/01/2018 22:47

What are naps like? How did you fix on 8.30pm for bedtime? Mine always sleeps better at night if she's napped well in the day and she seems to need naps at the same time every day. Often when she wakes she only wants a feed and will take a big one but if she has napped well in the day she just doesn't wake as much so it might not be a feeding issue?

LinkyPlease · 22/01/2018 22:48

Following..

Coastalcommand · 22/01/2018 22:48

Co sleeping has helped us massively, but that may only work for bf babies.

moita · 22/01/2018 22:50

My son's a year old and I'm still waiting...

Frillyhorseyknickers · 22/01/2018 22:50

This was posted in my baby post natal group and I’m just putting here as a warning/ light hearted reading late at night when your baby is not sleeping 😬

stolensleep.com/2018/01/11/a-beginners-guide-to-mum-forums/

hollowtree · 22/01/2018 22:50

Watching with exhausted interest

AnneWiddecombesHandbag · 22/01/2018 22:50

My 19 month old still isn't sleeping! My eldest slept through from 8 weeks. Sorry this isn't what you want to hear but they do it when they are ready! I do find a good nap helps a bit and fresh air. Ultimately as a pp said it's just time.

Placeboooooooo · 22/01/2018 22:52

Swaddling and crying it out. When I say crying it out I mean knowing the difference between an intermittent whinge and a genuinely upset cry.

I would put DD in her basket still awake and she would whinge/babble, if she was genuinely upset or in pain from teething etc then I would never leave her to cry it out then.

I also noticed that she woke up much less once she started sucking her thumb at around 3.5 months.

But honestly not picking her up every time she cooed or whimpered probably helped but then I’m not slating anybody who did pick them up every time either. Each to their own.

Claireshh · 22/01/2018 22:54

I would get him up for the day at 7ish. Even if he fed at 6am! Downstairs, breakfast, bottle of milk. Reset each day at 7am.

Nap at 9.30/10. Just a quick nap. Mine would usually fall asleep whilst I was on my way somewhere. Bottle upon waking.

Lunch noonish - bottle upstairs around 1pm ish. Nap till 3/3.30. Bottle upon waking.

Food 5 ish.
Bath 6ish
Bed 7/7.30pm

Dipitydoda · 22/01/2018 22:56

4 years! Yes 4 bloody years And my hospitalisation. It won’t last forever😁. Don’t stress, you either have a sleeper or don’t just try and male life as easy as possible in the meantime. Alter your schedule not thebabys to make sure you max out the sleep opportunities

throwcushions · 22/01/2018 22:57

Frilly that was excellent thanks for sharing

Placeboooooooo · 22/01/2018 22:57

I remember someone saying to me that naps during the day are imperative to a good nights sleep for babies. Sleep promotes sleep. Sounds counter productive but it did work for us, perhaps put him down for an afternoon nap?

Dipitydoda · 22/01/2018 22:58

Oh and co sleeping is a saviour!

IamAporcupine · 22/01/2018 22:59

Time

KittysMyName · 22/01/2018 22:59

My 7 month old doing the same OP. I long for an uninterrupted nights sleep. But so many people have said it’s just a matter of time. I guess we just have to wait it out! Good luck Flowers

sadie9 · 22/01/2018 22:59

When are the naps?
What worked for us was give the baby their main bulk of food at lunchtime and a smaller 'tea' size meal around 6pm. Then bottle close enough after that and in bed asleep by 7 or 7.30pm. Then wake at 11pm or half past then bottle then asleep for the night till 7am.
8:30 seems late for going to bed.
For some reason giving them the heavy meal in the evening doesn't necessarily knock them out for the night. Mine used to nap just after lunch then no more naps till bed.
Could he be getting too many naps in the evening time so he's wakeful? I remember the Contented Little Baby stuff was great for this sort of advice.

Placeboooooooo · 22/01/2018 23:01

There was something my friend tried it her LG who was a similar age to your little one, I think it was called Myhummy. Anyway she was amazed at how it worked, it was a bit of a last ditch attempt for her, she was at her wits end. Have seen other reviews of people who’ve said it’s worked for them too.

Sorry to drop feed

AhhhhThatsBass · 22/01/2018 23:02

You seem to be doing everything right. Can you increase the size of his dream feed (the 11.30pm)
Ideally you’d up the size of that one so he sleeps though til 6.30. When he does you’re home and dry. Are you sure when he wakes at 2 he is hungry and not just habit. Would a bit of “shush pat” work? We dropped the 3 am bottle after 2 months by beefing up the 11pm. I also only allowed 2 naps. One from 9.30-11 and one from 1-3, dinner and bath time at 6-7 enormous bottle at 7, and wake her up at 11 for the dream feed with low lighting etc and minimal noise so back to sleep at 7. Every kid is different however, I was pretty rigid about meal and nap times and maybe I was lucky that I had a good sleeper but remember it’s only a phase and it will pass. You won’t be knackered forever. Hang on in there.

Original poster
TrinitySquirrel · 22/01/2018 23:03

I never go to pick him straight up. I wait and see if it's a little grumble for a few minutes like when he's put down to nap, or if it's about to escalate. But they are generally 0 to 1000 at night within 30 seconds and we live in a new build apartment (with no sound proofing between our bedroom and next doors) so any further form of CIO isn't an option :(

He goes to sleep fine, it's just the wake-ups that are destroying me.

8.30pm is roughly when he naturally falls asleep every day. He has 2 or 3 naps a day. One around 10.30/11am, one mid afternoon and then a short one about 5pm if he didnt have two long naps earlier in the day. Both early naps could last between 1hr to 2hrs.

He has a dummy to go to sleep but spits it out grumpily when he gets fed up of it. It's not a comfort thing he wants when he's waking up and doesnt need it to go back to sleep.

I just wonder if maybe because he's such a Hagrid sized baby (light hearted, most of the men in my family are 6ft2 to 6ft6) he'll just always be this hungry of a night until he's older Sad

OP posts:
glitterballbag · 22/01/2018 23:04

I co slept with both of my children and they slept through from fairly early on and now both have great sleeping patterns.

mummy2oneandtwo · 22/01/2018 23:04

Where do the naps fit in to the routine? An over tired baby will sleep worse than a baby that has had naps.

I'd try to not let him sleep after the 6am bottle and push to a 9:30 / 10 nap instead and then another nap around 2pm, this could make sleeping easier during the night. At 8 months mine would still wake up, but it would be more settled, longer periods.

AirandMungBeans · 22/01/2018 23:05

Age, sorry, I know it's not what you want to hear, but babies aren't designed to sleep through. Neither of mine did until they were over two and most of the toddlers in my class don't, they're all two. My five year old still wakes some nights, lots at the moment actually, but on aerage around once a fortnight.

It will get easier and fyi, when people say their babies are sleeping through, they are mostly lying and kidding themselves.

I can't say, as a mum or early years professional, that I would recommend cry it out. The level of cortisol (stress hormone) in the child's system stays elevated long after they have fallen asleep.

It won't last forever, you will sleep again, I promise!

Rebeccaslicker · 22/01/2018 23:06

My DD was v similar, OP. It's brutal. But she turned into a good sleeper at about 12 months.

Sorry, I know that 4 months might as well be 4 years when you're in the thick of it, but it honestly did pass for us in the end Flowers

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