to ask what helped your baby sleep through?

[TrinitySquirrel]

I know it's generally a development leap thing. But I'm getting a bit bitter about everyone else's babies (in my friends) sleeping through from 4/6/12/20/whatever weeks.

We've gone through a mild hell of between 20 minute to 4hourly sleeps for the past 8 months and it's making me so tired now I'm getting physically sick. The most he will sleep is 3-4hrs at a time during the night, then wakes up for a feed (formula) and goes right back to sleep. The same times generally every night. He is definitely hungry because he demolishes 7oz and all hell breaks loose if there is any less, then sleeps for another 3-4hrs. Or 2hrs if he soaks through.

How can I get him to take more in the day so he takes less at night so we can night wean him? He's on two solids meals a day with a few snacks and 4 or 5 7oz bottles plus 2 at night. We did get him up to 8oz bottles but as he's started solids he seems to have reduced his intake naturally.

6am - Bottle (crying for)
Sleeps again until somewhere between 8am and 9.30am - wakes up happy and babbly!
10am - Bottle with some thick porridge or toast to play with more than eat as never that hungry first thing
1pm - Lunch Solids + Water (eats all of it)
3.30pm - Bottle
6.30pm - Dinner Solids & Water (eats all of it)
8.30pm - Bed time bottle then sleeps for a few hours
11.30pm - Bottle (cry
2am - Bottle
6am - Bottle
Repeat

Oh op that sounds exhausting for you.

I followed the Gina Ford Contented baby book routine and found it fab for both mine who were 16 months apart.

The first slipped into the routine really easily and was sleeping from last bottle at 10.30 till 5.30am at 4 and a half months, and my Ds from 6 months,

It was bliss when they were both on exactly the same daytime sleep schedule and nightimes too. Putting them down became easy too, as they were calm and happy to go to sleep . It really worked for me.

DS has slept through since 10 months in his own cot (except when he's been poorly/teething) and I honestly put it down to the fact he has a bath every night. He's 18 months now and people are always telling me he doesn't need a bath every night but he loves it and really settles him. He has a bath and sits with me or his dad for some milk and goes to bed 8 till 8 most days. He has one hour long afternoon nap usually 1 till 2.
I'm not sure if this will last especially when he goes into a single bed but I honestly think the bath really helps he's just so chilled after it.
We have anotherone on the way now and I'm sure we won't be as lucky next time but hope you start to get more sleep OP!

The book "Teach Your Child to Sleep" by the Millpond Clinic has advice on night feeding. They also do over the phone consultations - we used them a few years ago with our twins and they were awesome.

Does he always feed to sleep? If so he probably has a sleep association with feeding, like a PP said try doing his nighttime bottle earlier in the routine if that's the case.

Regarding night weaning, what you could try is making a more dilute bottle - so still 210ml or whatever it is but just one scoop or half a scoop less. (Obviously that's not recommended for younger babies but once they're weaned it's nbd.) It should nudge him towards eating/drinking more in the day (if he's OK with it, continue to gradually reduce the volume/concentration of the night feeds) hopefully without him feeling he's been short changed!

Its shit but you can just get unlucky re sleep. My 20 month old has just started mostly sleeping through so maybe 5 nights out of 7 she'll sleep. But a few weeks ago she was still waking for a bottle.

Nothing! mines over 2 and still doesn’t sleep. Sympathise with the feeling sick with exhaustion. 8-10 months is the worst bit in my view. Nearly killed me.

Sorry to hear you are having such a tough time, you must be shattered. Could you post your exact routine with naps and times included? Maybe we can see if adjusting routine may help?

How do you get your baby to sleep for bed and naptimes?

Also, when you say solids, are you purely BLW or using purees too?

I find my 8mo eats far far more calorie wise when we use purees. I literally keep feeding her until she refuses anymore, then I know she is full. She has some finger foods too, but they are an extra. Here is our breakdown of the day. She is FF.

0700 - awake, 4ish oz milk
0830- breakfast - 1 x weetabix with 4oz milk, 1 slice toast, half banana
0900 - playtime - lots of physical activity if possible to wear her out!
0945 - nap in cot
1100 - awake, out for a walk / shopping / play etc etc
1230- lunch - whole ellas pouch or equivent, 2x petit filous yogs, mango slice or equivalent
1300 - continue out or playing etc
1430 - nap in cot
1600 (at latest) - awake, play etc
1700 - dinner - same as lunch amount
1850- baby rice with 6oz milk
1900 - bath then massage
1930 - bed

My 2 and a quarter old needed time. As people above have said (not what you want to hear)

He was a AWFUL sleeper until around 15 months, then it was like a switch - he sleeps through 95% of all nights and has done for nearly a year. He has the occasional bad night (nightmare etc).

Witchend My first was prescribed Phenergan. What a wonder drug but was apparently abused and don't believe it's often prescribed now

Have a look at Gina Ford and see if you think you might like it, its polarising but I found it very helpful.

Pick a middle of the night feed, and just offer water, you have to get his body used to not wanting calories at that time of night, so his stomach doesnt wake him up with routine hunger pangs. If you think about it one of the most difficult parts of jet lag is resetting your stomach to eating at a different time.

As soon as he adjusts to just taking water, or sleeping through that feed, then start working on another one. I would start with the 2 am feed. When he has adjusted, move the 11.30pm one earlier by 10 mins each night but dont switch it to water initially (you wake him up if he doesnt wake himself). When it is at 9 ish then switch it to water, then when he has done that for 4 nights just dont wake him or only offer water if he does wake)

He will probably cry and grumble, but if you want to shift his routine, you are going to have to teach him how to adjust.

Also if he just wont go back to sleep after water at 2 am, you could try cutting his milk by 1 oz a night and then switch to water when he is only having 1 oz, but this might mean the whole process takes longer

Waiting 2 years...sorry!

No advice but just to say you are not alone! I felt like all my friends' babies were sleeping from a few weeks old but mine never did, I read so many books and nearly had a breakdown form tiredness several times She has just started sleeping through at 15 months, speaking to others I think something magic happens at 15 months! Not what you want to hear though. What else helped was some gentle sleep training, stopping feeding to sleep, DH settling rather than me (so cuddle rather than bf which was all that worked for me) and stopping BF altogether although you have bottles. It was a gradual process over several months though.

Time.
Can you go to bed yourself at 8.30 too?
And I never let mine nap past 3pm

All Sarah Ockwell Smith's books are great, try the gentle sleep book, it's the total opposite to the Gina ford recommend above so depends which style of parenting you prefer but I absolutely love Sarah. She has a great Facebook page too.

All supposed sleep training involves crying. Honestly, they do just crack it themselves. You have to work with your partner to ensure you both take a turn while the other one sleeps

Hi OP. I posted a similar thread when mine was ten months. You are not wrong or unnatural to want and need unbroken sleep.

Things I would suggest.

Does he have a dummy or a teddy? Try to introduce some sort of safe comfort item, of course with a family history of SIDS (I am so very sorry), you will need to check with your doctor before putting any item into his cot.

I too think the whole routine is starting and finishing too late. At his age, I would aim for bedtime at 7pm.

I'd also use the 2-3-4 guideline for naps, so first nap within two hours of waking, next nap three hours after waking from first nap, bedtime four hours after waking from second nap. I preferred to keep the first nap short at 45 minutes or so, and encourage a bigger nap for the second one, but I think as long as he is getting two-and-a-half or three hours sleep across the naps, either way works. I would try to avoid the 5pm nap at all costs. Then bedtime by 7pm.

On a practical note, can you arrange to get one guaranteed night's sleep for yourself on a regular basis? If you have a partner/husband, can you take turns to sleep in a back room or on the sofa with ear plugs in, and the other person is fully responsible for night wakings that night? Or have you a relative or friend who might stay overnight once in a while to let you sleep - I used to do this occasionally for my sister before I had my own children. Just resetting your own sleep clock by having a night unbroken is a wonderful thing.

Of course, none of this is guaranteed to work but it is useful to have a guideline of what a good sleep timetable looks like and take some steps to aim towards that.

Best wishes.

I also agree with the point about purees and spoon feeding above. You need to make sure he is getting food in to his belly! Also, are you giving him vitamin D drops as recommended?

Although I didn't follow the "gradual retreat" method used in this book, I found it invaluable to get an idea of what is a normal amount of sleep and what a routine should ideally look like - it's by Kim West and is called something like Good Night, Sleep Tight. I liked having something to aim for.

Stop feeding him in the night then he will learn and stock up during the day. He’s waking up out of habit right now.

OLY5 not all sleep traing involves crying, l never left my babies to babies cry. Not once.

You can edge young babies very gently and gradually into sleeping in their cot at a set time, without any distress, if you are willing to spend lots and lots of undisturbed time and effort doing it.

I have no idea about older babies and toddlers though.

I followed the Gina Ford plan from the beginning with my premie DD as l was pretty clueless about feeds/naps etc, and the message that if a baby is getting enough milk and the right amount of naps, during the daytime hours they will sleep for progressively longer stretches at night seemed sensible.

When l put my DD in her cot at night, from 3 weeks, l would feed, burp nappy change, lay her down in our semi dark bedroom in her cot, and initially keep my hand on her lightly, and make a shooshing noise.
she would wriggle, make little noises but never cried and would eventually fall asleep,
after a couple of weeks she fell asleep faster so l sat close but only lightly touched her,
Then a couple of weeks later sat v close, didn't touch her, but still made the SSH noises..when she was falling asleep almost straight away, l sat by the door and made the same shh noise.

Then stopped altogether and just sat by the door for a couple more weeks.
It took maybe 6 weeks or so.
From then on, I put her down and walked away and would watch/listen on the monitor and she would fall straight to sleep unaided. At 10.30 she would have a sleepy bottle and nappy change in the semi dark, and go right back to sleep till 5.30 ish.

When Ds arrived shortly after l did the same, but he took longer maybe 6 months to be as good as my DD at falling asleep.

Having a 22month old and a 6 month old who l could put in their cots at 7.30 pm and walk away from knowing they would soon fall asleep, was a lifesaver as l had no help as DH was mostly abroad with his job and no family were near.

It is possible to gently sleep train without crying or distress, but a lot of work......but then you have your evenings undisturbed, or to sleep yourself ( l used to go straight to sleep and set my alarm for the 10.30 feed!)

Agree with the PP who said you can’t take what other people say at face value. My baby is 7 weeks old. I’ve noticed that some people’s definition of “sleeping through” (with babies the same age) is very odd. I keep hearing people say that their baby sleeps through apart from a feed at X am and Y am...?! I don’t consider settling back quickly as sleeping through but perhaps they do?

I firmly believe that babies start to sleep through when they are good and ready to. You can try anything you like, but it's not up to you.

I have an 8 month old DS.
He has periods of good sleep and then a little patch of night feeding again. I’ve been putting it down to growth spurts. We are currently in a good phase and the only thing I’ve done is give him a routine which never really changes. If he is out of routine you know about it.

Routine is -
6.30 wake up - bottle of milk
7.30 - breakfast
8.00-9.00 nap
9.00- bottle of milk
9.00-11.30 - out and about
11.30-12 - lunch
13.00 - bottle of milk
13.00-14.30 - nap
14.30 - bottle of milk (beginning to drop this one)
14.30 - 15.30 - out and about
15.30 - 16.30 - playing at home
16.45 - dinner
17.30-18.00 - playing
18.00 - bath
18.20 - story
18.30 - bed

And repeat.
It’s like ground hog day but it’s working (mostly)

White noise - one twin can't sleep without it (also blurs out DHs snoring)

Mine fed hourly for the first few months and I ended up co sleeping just so i would get some sleep.
At about six months I ended up putting him in his cot in his own room... and he slept thru pretty much all night and has slept well ever since.
I think i did need to co sleep to begin with but after a certain point i was waking up at his slightest movement or whimper next to me and so was excacerbating the prob. Once he was in his own room he only woke me up if he properly cried and that turned out to be not that often.

So I think it is developmental to some extent as in the first couple of months its rare any baby sleeps for prolonged periods of time.. youd have to be very lucky to have one that does... however as they reach past six months I think you have to use common sense and make a decision to just try and leave them a little longer in between feeds or before settling them and eventually that will work.
Does take longer for some babies than others tho and unfortunately some kids are just not very good at sleeping ever!! I was one of those and I still struggle to stay asleep all night lol!!

Not getting up the second they wake... sometimes they will self settle within a couple of minutes. Although this might not be the case with your baby! Mine woke every half hour so it made sense that not all of those wakeups were so crucial.

Making sure they nap sufficiently during the day can also make for better night sleeping.

We had to sleep train in the end. One failed attempt when baby was a bit younger and then finally at 1 year. It worked. And after a year of me sleeping no more than 2 hours a night, it was necessary. Also, working out my baby's ideal room temperature and maintaining it has made a world of difference! It took a while to work out though.

Good luck! Sleep deprivation is so bad for the soul. hope it improves soon!

Oh and white noise helped him in the earlier days. Honestly I feel like I’m going mad at times doing everything to the minute, saying the exact same stuff, even the order I do the lights. I think it’s probably a bit too much!

Sleep training worked for my two at around 6 months. Yes, I felt bad doing it, but within a few nights my son was sleeping so much better and I felt he would probably benefit for having a longer sleep rather than interrupted sleep. I also felt more human and able to cope. It was win win after the initial sleep training and they look forward to going to sleep now. Good luck!