to ask what helped your baby sleep through?

[TrinitySquirrel]

I know it's generally a development leap thing. But I'm getting a bit bitter about everyone else's babies (in my friends) sleeping through from 4/6/12/20/whatever weeks.

We've gone through a mild hell of between 20 minute to 4hourly sleeps for the past 8 months and it's making me so tired now I'm getting physically sick. The most he will sleep is 3-4hrs at a time during the night, then wakes up for a feed (formula) and goes right back to sleep. The same times generally every night. He is definitely hungry because he demolishes 7oz and all hell breaks loose if there is any less, then sleeps for another 3-4hrs. Or 2hrs if he soaks through.

How can I get him to take more in the day so he takes less at night so we can night wean him? He's on two solids meals a day with a few snacks and 4 or 5 7oz bottles plus 2 at night. We did get him up to 8oz bottles but as he's started solids he seems to have reduced his intake naturally.

6am - Bottle (crying for)
Sleeps again until somewhere between 8am and 9.30am - wakes up happy and babbly!
10am - Bottle with some thick porridge or toast to play with more than eat as never that hungry first thing
1pm - Lunch Solids + Water (eats all of it)
3.30pm - Bottle
6.30pm - Dinner Solids & Water (eats all of it)
8.30pm - Bed time bottle then sleeps for a few hours
11.30pm - Bottle (cry
2am - Bottle
6am - Bottle
Repeat

You might just be unlucky sadly. But i disagree with some other posters who say people are stretching the truth around sleeping through. Good sleepers do exist- my little girl was excellent and I have no reason to lie. I think a few factors contributed (1) she never seemed to like feeding at night. She always packed it in during the day even from a young age (2) she was early to hit all her gross motor milestones so was knackering herself out and (3) she grasped eating at 6 months really easily. All of these are luck really. We also found it she got overly tired and couldn’t sleep, we didn’t help her by trying to settle her. It almost re-set her and annoyed her.

I had a look back at my diary and at 8 months she was doing 2 naps. I think we had to drop the third as it was pushing back bedtime. She was also only having 3 bottles rather than 6. Perhaps as others have suggested you could try some water at night. The other difference I think is breakfast. She was eating loads in the morning . She struggled at first with toast but banana pancakes got her eating. I’m not trying to say this to rub it in, just to show possible differences in routine. I’m aware we were totally lucky and next time round could end up with a non-sleeper. Unfortunately there isn’t a magic solution and it seems totally random as to who gets the good sleepers.

Not a direct answer to your question, my seven month will sleep 8-11pm then 11-2/3 feeding each time.. and that's an improvement! She would only sleep in a wrap or on my chest until this month... a white noise machine has been a really big help for us xx

unicorn same here!! I thought I was the only one!

When MIL did bedtime a few weeks ago she had about an A4s worth of script to recite!

@Sipperskipper good to hear I’m not mad. I make a point of saying specific phrases over and over. I forgot to say I feed him another bottle just before bed, but I guess most people do.

I feel your pain as we've had 8 1/2 months of this and also have a 2 year old who occasionally wakes in the middle of the night still and although he rarely cries, he stays awake singing and talking for about 2 hours at a time.
However, our little one finally seems to be (mostly) sleeping through.
Only from my own experience, I'd say your little one is maybe going to bed too late?
I read a few months ago that putting babies to bed at around 6.30 rather than much later can actually mean they sleep much longer and better so we now do that with both of ours and it generally seems to be working well.
Our routine is very similar to yours but I found that in order to get a full nights sleep I have to stomach getting up at around 6am to start the day. This is our routine if it helps?.....

6am - 7oz bottle
7.30-8am - breakfast
9.30 - milk then nap for 1 1/2 - 2 hours
12.30 - lunch & fruit/yoghurt
2.30 - milk then another nap
5pm - dinner (no dessert as sugar makes them hyper) & tv goes off
6pm - bath
6.15-6.30pm - Warm milk & story with cuddles then bed

At bedtime we never faff around, just give them a hug and kiss, say our goodnights and lay them down then walk away. They very rarely cry as this has always been our sleep routine.
I've discovered that both my children like to be warm & cozy to sleep well (but not dangerously warm, obviously) and if the room gets too cold the baby wakes at least every 4 hours.

I have four children (2 now adults) and know that every baby is different but if you're as desperate for sleep as you sound (and believe me, I do know how horrible that is as we've only just nailed this) I'd try and tweak things a little to see if small changes help. Good luck, it's a difficult period but it will get easier with time.

@sycamore When did you introduce a comfort item? Do you think its too late to try this with my nine month old?

My DS was good at sleeping to begin with, was sleeping longer at night wih less breaks until he turned 6months,then it went all over the place! He was waking every half hour or hour, it nearly drove me mad.

We tried controlled crying, which worked well the first time, (the first night it took an hour,the second night 5 minutes to get him to sleep) but after he had an illness we were back at square one and it didn't work as well so after 2days I stopped it.

Our HV was able to recommend a sleep clinic near us, where we were told to put the cotbed next to our bed and whenever he woke up to put our hand on his tummy or leg and then shush him. That way we could stay in bed too. It worked really well, our DS was comforted to know we were there and would fall asleep again. Ewan the sheep helped too with the white noise.

Sleep deprivation is horrible, I hope you hit on the right method for your LO and you. Let your HV know too

The key is to get them into the routine you want. All babies are different and he does sound a hungry baby(!) but you should be able to do it. My first was like your baby, waking twice in the night till nearly 12 months old and soaking through the nappy every night.

I made sure to give him more solids and milk during the day, then bed at 7.30am. At first I let him cry. That didn't mean leaving him completely - after a few minutes of crying each time I went into the room and reassured him (not touching or getting him out of cot) and then went out of the room and repeating as often as needed. The first night he cried for about 2 hours with us going in and out. The second night he cried for 15-20 minutes - again we went in and out. The third night he didn't cry at all and went straight to sleep. I felt a complete fool because the reason for the sleep problems were all caused by me getting him up and giving him a bottle every time he woke!
I used the same routine with my second, and also swaddled her and she slept through at 6 weeks.

Getting a dummy bunny- soft toy that has dummies attached to its paws so if she wakes during night she finds this and self settles

Getting a lovely night light/musical toy that shines stars on ceiling/plays lullabies- go in, pat baby and out this on so its an instant sleep association

Getting into more of routine- ie. bang on 7 its up to bed, bath/change, quick story, musical bug on, huge bottle of milk in with her to bed, door closed.

We realised she was thrashing around/waking herself up, so got this swaddle suit- got it sent from Amazon US that basically is so thick on the arms they cant really lift arms to thrash about as easily/so wake up far less often

Letting her cry for timed prolonged times for a few nights ie. 5 minutes then go in, next time 10 mins, go in, then 15 etc etc.

its not the same as a swaddle bag btw- its this- miracle worker!!- www.morgan-crane.com/2013/02/25/baby-merlins-magic-sleepsuit-week-1/

@RadioGoGo I think any age past peak SIDS age seems to work, I think when mine was about 7 or 8 months, we started cuddling a little teddy with him as he fed, then would place it in the cot with him. For the first while, he paid no attention but now he snuggles in to it as he falls asleep.

But the best SIDS guidance is I believe absolutely nothing in the cot, so you need to consider all options carefully.

I think the baby can form a comfort association at any age, so if you think it might help, I'd give it a go. It's about creating a number of positive sleep associations for them, so if they stir in the night, a snuggle with the teddy or a chomp on the dummy allows them self-soothe and not fully wake up.

I found co sleeping really helpful. I feel your pain 💐

Another who thinks that they just sleep when they are ready. I've had 3 and can't say there was a pattern - they were all different however much we like to credit ourselves with all the positive things our babies do.
One thing that helps is to get as much sleep as you can though, either taking turns with your dh so you get a full night's sleep every other night, or doing more of a 'shift pattern' so one of you goes to sleep early evening and sleeps through until the early house, whilst the other one feeds dc at the 11 o'clockish feed then is able to sleep uninterrupted until nearly getting up time anyway. Or whatever combination works for you, but remember the baby has two parents and you both need sleep to function.

Wheat!
Food of the devil!

Currently lying in bed next to my 5yo DS1 and 20m DS2. Sorry OP but they sleep through when they're ready.

We were told to just stop the night feeds at 6 months - 3 horrible nights then bliss. He now only wakes up in the night when poorly

Can you also take turns with OH? We used to alternate wake ups or nights early on. DH would also feed via bottle if I really needed sleep in the day

No sleep after 3 worked here. Jodi Mindell’s book is about CC but had excellent advice about not needing milk in the night etc. Speak to your HV - does he need all that milk? I was up and down the stairs all night. Was exhausted. On the edge. From 1 we did no milk in the night just a quick cuddle then repeated ‘it’s night time’ and back in cot.

Neither of mine have been good sleepers. DS1 slept through at about a year.

DS2 is five months. He wakes between 4-5 times a night and will only settle if we co sleep 😴

Stopping night feeds worked for ds1. Took 3 nights of him expressing his displeasure to his dad though (we didn't leave him alone to cry but he did cry).

Nothing worked w ds2, he didn't zledl through til age 4. That's why there is no dc3.

My first slept like dream at 8 weeks and “through” (7-7) at about 14 weeks.

My 14w old is okaaaaaaay, it was choppy for 8 weeks but like @Dragongirl10 we stuck to Gina Ford like glue and it’s mostly working... except DS gets hella grumbly at 0445 and yaps awake at 0545 risking waking DD 1hr 15 too early. So I’m no expert.

BUT

Give Gina a go. The contented little baby method works if employed correctly. Nerves of steel and perseverance will be key. But it took 72 hrs to get DS into it, meaning I’d allow twice that at least for your baby.

20:30 is too late for a baby’s bedtime and 17:00 is too late for a nap. Wind both forward by 2hrs and you’ll be better.

Good luck OP. I am very lucky with my children and I feel a bit on the hairy edge with only having to deal with waking up just before Good Morning Britain starts.... x

Co-sleeping and time. Your baby is still really little. Most I know didn't sleep through until 18months + and one of mine was over 5 🙈

You need to find ways of adapting what you do now to make sure you get enough sleep. Either sharing night time duty, catching up at weekends, co sleeping so wakes are minimal, dummy etc to help baby self soothe more etc.

Sending sleepy hugs.

Family history of SIDS means I don’t think co-sleeping as a solution would be good for the OPs anxiety levels.

People lie (to others and themselves) about this!

Our dd (13 months) has just started to sleep through, some nights, when she's not ill / teething / etc etc, but only v recently. Before Christmas, I was telling our friends, with a DS a little younger (5 months) that she hadn't slept through even once in a whole year. The DH remarked that their son (then 3-4 months) was 'sleeping through from 7-7' all the time. Turns out he meant that he wakes at 11 for a feed, and again around 3am and is up for the day around 7. But that essentially he was asleep from 7-7. Well yes. Our DD did that at 3 months too. But if he's crying for a feed, whether he's technically asleep or returns to sleep easily or not, that doesn't count as 'sleeping through'!

Babies require attention through the night in order to maintain their sleep and parents who report on this fact inaccurately do no-one any favours!

Ps we did nothing specifically that helped our DD finally be able to sleep all night. I think pp are right, it's just being ready developmentally and this coinciding with a few days without illness / teething / disruptions to routine etc.

DS sleeps through the night from 7pm to 7am. He recently had 2 days of waking up in the middle of the night, which happened to coincide with washing his gro-bag, and using blankets instead. What's the temp of the room?

Also, I found the following site really useful:

www.babysleepsite.com/blog/?utm_source=menu&utm_medium=blog

There's a wealth of free information (if you can ignore the rest)