to ask what helped your baby sleep through?

[TrinitySquirrel]

I know it's generally a development leap thing. But I'm getting a bit bitter about everyone else's babies (in my friends) sleeping through from 4/6/12/20/whatever weeks.

We've gone through a mild hell of between 20 minute to 4hourly sleeps for the past 8 months and it's making me so tired now I'm getting physically sick. The most he will sleep is 3-4hrs at a time during the night, then wakes up for a feed (formula) and goes right back to sleep. The same times generally every night. He is definitely hungry because he demolishes 7oz and all hell breaks loose if there is any less, then sleeps for another 3-4hrs. Or 2hrs if he soaks through.

How can I get him to take more in the day so he takes less at night so we can night wean him? He's on two solids meals a day with a few snacks and 4 or 5 7oz bottles plus 2 at night. We did get him up to 8oz bottles but as he's started solids he seems to have reduced his intake naturally.

6am - Bottle (crying for)
Sleeps again until somewhere between 8am and 9.30am - wakes up happy and babbly!
10am - Bottle with some thick porridge or toast to play with more than eat as never that hungry first thing
1pm - Lunch Solids + Water (eats all of it)
3.30pm - Bottle
6.30pm - Dinner Solids & Water (eats all of it)
8.30pm - Bed time bottle then sleeps for a few hours
11.30pm - Bottle (cry
2am - Bottle
6am - Bottle
Repeat

Hi csigeek, we are exactly the same.....but with less teeth haha, LO just turned 9 months and has never woke up any less than maybe 4 times in the night, yawn! Does your LO wake up and have boobie? It is the only thing that will settle my girl, sometimes she barely even has any milk but will not settle without the boob, we co sleep so she just forces herself into the bf position or slaps me and pulls my hair until I give in!

Mydaughter, when you say you have tried everything, have you tried putting her in her cot in her own room? I honestly think this current trend for co-sleeping and milk constantly on tap does nothing to help babies learn to settle down to proper sleep - where is the disincentive? If you really want to get your daughter's sleep sorted, you need to somehow break this cycle, which might be painful initially.

No I haven't tried that yet, I guess eventually I will have to because she can't be in my bed forever but I can't put her down to sleep anywhere apart from in my bed without her waking up, the only time she sleeps not in my arms in when she's laid next to me in my bed, I do try to lay her down when she naps but before she's even touched her travel cot she wakes up and cries so I cuddle her back to sleep, it's a rod I made for my own back I guess and like you said will initially be painful to change, my partner works out of town Monday to Friday but he is putting the cot up for me when he comes home this weekend, (we recently moved so it's been put down) LO will be going in her cot until she wakes and we will go from there.

Good luck My daughter, but I think after the initial upheaval, you might be pleasantly surprised. I can't see how anyone can get a good night's sleep in the same bed, and your daughter has slipped into the habit of thinking she needs milk to get back to sleep. As I said, the cycle needs to be broken, but you have recognised that.

Getting older cured it

I had some great advice for my 8 month old and went from waking 4-6 times a night to sleeping through in a week. So. First, as long as they are well and having sufficient food/milk in the day (be sure of this) they can sleep through at night- it’s behavioural waking. If that’s the case make sure they are having their naps in the cot and 10 mins of playing in there with lots of toys while you’re not about every day. Stay home a couple of days to do this if you need to. Then make sure you are never feeding the baby to sleep, ever! After a feed in the day, it’s play and then when he’s yawning pop him in the cot with a comforter and walk away. Keep popping in the replace the comforter if you need to but don’t interact or touch. He needs to learn to go to sleep on his own. At bed time do the bottle and snack before the bath (!) and then just put down and pop in and out to replace the comforter if you need to (but with absolutely no interaction). Once that’s all established focus on dropping the first feed- my friend just put the dummy in and left and that worked - we haven’t used one so it was the comforter again and also some music to snap him out of the initial wailing. Once you’ve cracked that I’d expect the other wakes to drop away of their own accord...

Starting school.

Sorry.

She has cath and its really hard to get her back to sleep without boob, and I don't want her to scream herself to sleep it wont be nice for either of us, when there is just me and her in the bed we sleep fine but it is a bit of a squeeze when the hubby is home on weekends

Like hell I'd be letting him nap after 4pm though no chance! And by dropping that nap you can bring his bedtime forwards to more like 7:30pm

All of my 3 children slept through the night from 9 weeks old.
They were put upstairs in a darkened room at 6 o'clock and left to self settle. They were bathed and bottlefed before bed. When they woke for night feeds I didn't speak to them or put on a light. I made it as uninteresting as possible. It worked for me but I appreciate it wouldn't work for someone else. All mine were early risers 5.30am for years and it was a killer.

Likewise, Turkkedin, although our techniques will not win you many fans on MN.
It just seems so obvious to me that all the baby-led mantra so prevalent today could have been designed with the express intention of actually discouraging sleep!
To all those who have 'tried everything' ask yourself this: If you had a choice of sleeping in a quiet room or in a light room with the TV on, where would you sleep best? If you could sleep either in a bed or on someone's lap, where would you sleep best? If you could sleep alone or in a room with the comings and goings of other people, where would you sleep best? Think about it and you have your answer.
Why is it when someone posts about routines and young babies, they are always shouted down with cries about the baby being far too young for any routine?
Sleepy cuddles and enjoyed your newborn and all the other trite things people say are all very well, but the downside is - as thus thread shows - older babies who cannot self settle.

Two posts have stuck in my mind that I have read on MN about sleep:

1. A mum who was co-sleeping alone with her three-month-old baby (the baby's dad had been consigned to the sofa every night) and her post was a blow-by-blow account of her whole night of baby waking up when she opened a window, baby waking up when she went to the loop etc.
2. A recent one where a mum was eating her dinner on the bed in the dark because she did not want to leave her baby to sleep alone.

This is madness and I am amazed people really cannot see this, I really am.. Yes, baby sleeping alone carries a very small SIDS risk, but do does co-sleeping, which is so beloved of MNetters.

We know far more about risks for SIDS than we ever have and some of this advice about putting babies under 6 months old in their own rooms and leaving them to 'self settle' (cry) directly contradicts safer sleeping advice. Up to you if you want to do it but you need to be aware of the increased risk.

So is co-sleeping EvilEdna, but it is always suggested as a miracle cure on MN

I know many will say there's no correlation but both of mine began sleeping through when I weaned them and they were eating proper food during the day. That was from 6/ 7 months (both weaned quickly and easily). With dd it was moving her into her own room - the first night we did it she slept through for 12 hours. We'd been waking her up with our night time noises!

Completely agree. Cosleeping is lovely but if you want a sleeper don’t be tempted- pop them in the cot and let them learn to self settle. It’s a choice but I work and it was a clear one for me. I have a friend who works and is exhausted by her 2 year old that she cosleeps with and is on the boob all night ... Babies actually need breast milk every 3-4 hours and less when weaned- not at all at night- so if that’s what you’re doing it’s comfort ie a human dummy. It is a choice though, neither approach is wrong ...

Bed sharing is linked with higher risk but you can cut that risk massively with following the safer bed sharing guidelines. Sleeping with the baby in your own room is linked with lowering the risk.

Time . My six year old still wakes at night. You're not doing anything wrong. Your baby will sleep through in time.

Fresh air helps . A bit. Even if it's for your benefit. I recall trudging out come rain or shine. It helped me and it might have also helped dd.
I had active times with her, reading and singing and quieter time.

Formula and dummy!

It's OK talking about giving it time, but as a pp has already said, some of us simply don't want to give it time, we want to sleep as soon as possible.
There is a thread running at the moment about an 18-month-old baby who is waking at night and his mum is fed up with it. The poor mum is coming under fire for not liking the idea of night wakings, and people are scoffing at the idea of the toddler knowing what he is doing.
Were my toddlers the only ones who had tantrums if they didn't get their own way at 18 months?
It seems to be almost a judgement on your parenting to suggest that being at your baby's beck and call literally 24 hours a day is not necessarily a good thing.
And I for one am not interested in hearing how babies who were cuddled to sleep up to the age of two are now fantastic sleepers at 6/7/8/9 - so they bloody should be!

Cosleeping is lovely but if you want a sleeper don’t be tempted- pop them in the cot and let them learn to self settle

Wise words. I have massive anxiety about SIDS, more than is normal and even when I was bfing I could never ever have slept with either child, so when I could feel the eye popping exhaustion kick in baby went immediately into the cot.

We pretty much did what @cathf says (with the worlds most sensitive baby monitor, honestly you could hear a gnat fart) and both babies “slept through” from 15 weeks (1800-0530)

I don’t know why but when folk talk about cosleeping with baby it gives me the shudder.

Cosleeping with a baby is fine, just as long as you begin putting them in their own cot when they show signs that they're developmentally ready to sleep alone. In most cases that's between 3 and 6 months.