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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

CF friend or AIBU?

990 replies

SilverBirchTree · 07/12/2017 00:31

We recently cleared out a family attic and found an antique object that is associated with a profession (think fireman's helmet/doctor's bag/judge's gavel etc). We looked it up online and saw they sell on eBay for between £150-350.

A friend of mine's FIL is retired from this profession and his hobby is researching its history. He has even self published books about it. He is a lovely man who I see about twice a year. He lost his wife a few months ago so he has been in my recent thoughts.

It is such a marvellous object (beautiful with history and craftsmanship) we decided we'd rather see it go to someone who would appreciate it, rather than sell it.

I asked my friend if her FIL would enjoy it. She responded that he would love it. When I dropped it off at her house, she and her husband said something about wrapping it up and making it their Christmas gift to their FIL. I was Hmm because it wasn't really from them, but whatever.

Today I saw on Facebook that she has put the object for sale online. Shock I messaged her a screen shot of the ad with the message '???' She wrote back 'hey, u gave it to us! I'm going to use the money to buy everyone a Chrissy present, not just [FIL]. We showed it to him and he enjoyed looking at it and taking snaps. Time for someone else to enjoy! :)'

I am so annoyed! She's correct that I gave it away- but I didn't give it to her to sell!! I feel like demanding that she either return the object to me or at least give me the money from the sale.

She's a good friend otherwise, but the kind of person who is always hunting for a bargain or a freebie. It was fun at uni but getting a bit tiresome today!!!

AIBU or is my friend a PITA?!

OP posts:
FilthyforFirth · 08/12/2017 10:41

I am so desperate to know how this will end! You are a far better person than me, I would have contacted ebay and outed her as a thief on fb a long time ago!

SchoolMoney · 08/12/2017 10:42

Oh please be an update that says it came back in the condition it began in...

cardeyscat · 08/12/2017 10:42

Just found this thread and I'm horrified at your friend's behaviour. It just goes to show that one person's reality can be so so different from another's.. she clearly believes she had the right to sell this mystery item!!

crazycatlady5 · 08/12/2017 10:42

OMG!!!!! CF indeed!!!! I’m not sure I’d keep this person in my life and I’m relatively laid back about most things. How awful.

MiddleClassProblem · 08/12/2017 10:43

Don’t feel you have to say what the item is! Tbh it’s pretty irrelevant, it’s all about CF’s behaviour.

Waddlelikeapenguin · 08/12/2017 10:43

Update you say? Xmas Grin

AlpacaLypse · 08/12/2017 10:44

Curses! I really WANTED it to be an antique ram castrator... Smile

MurmmersShow · 08/12/2017 10:45

I'm sending you huge huge support from the Midlands OP!! You can do it. You can prevail!

BlackEyedKid · 08/12/2017 10:46
wineandcheeseplease · 08/12/2017 10:48

I want custard creams now too.

ConciseandNice · 08/12/2017 10:49

Zoomaa and I have lots. Sit back and have one. passes plate

Deedee248 · 08/12/2017 10:50

I too am horrified at CF's behaviour. She is undoubtedly a taker, whereas you sound like you are a giver. I know which most people would rather be!

Once you have the item safely back in your possession, and it is no longer listed on ebay, maybe you could show us a photograph of it?

trevortrevorslattery · 08/12/2017 11:00
crazycatlady5 · 08/12/2017 11:01

Zoomaa and I have lots. Sit back and have one. passes plate

As this has now been passed on to me to pass on, I’ll assume it is now mine for the taking? How much to custard creams go for on eBay?

Grin
CoffeeWithMyOxygen · 08/12/2017 11:03

Pass the custard creams, guys, I am AGOG.

AlpacaLypse · 08/12/2017 11:06

C'mon OP's baby, you've surely had enough now, time for a nap so mum can get on with important things like updating a baying crowd of custard cream guzzling MNers!

Spadequeen · 08/12/2017 11:06

I’m hoping that the updates got it all back, cf tried to excuse what she’d done but all’s well that ends well, but I’m guessing if it’s a long one it won’t be.

Another vote for reporting her to eBay, screw her reputation, if she’s happy to screw over her family and friends she’s wrecked it all by herself

ZenNudist · 08/12/2017 11:06

Placemarking

Whowouldfardelsbear · 08/12/2017 11:17

I'm waiting to see if CF actually asked for money before handing it back over. Nothing would surprise me.

However, I am in New Zealand and it is just past midnight and I am tired and old and need to go to bed now.

ConciseandNice · 08/12/2017 11:22

My custard creams have run out!!!!

AhhhhThatsBass · 08/12/2017 11:26

You're loving this aren't you OP, keeping a bunch of overinvested Brits in suspense.
The baby's definitely had enough now.

Wink
LaContessaDiPlump · 08/12/2017 11:27

Stop feeding that baby, he'll grow up spoilt!!

P.S. the above is light hearted before anyone howls at me

GreenTulips · 08/12/2017 11:28

keeping a bunch of overinvested Brits in suspense

We're snowed in - we can wait

runsmidgeOMG · 08/12/2017 11:28

I'm over invested!! 🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️

I've been checking this thread periodically every hour or so...

SchadenfreudePersonified · 08/12/2017 11:30

did she just show it to him and then sell it?

That's what I thought, That she said "Oh FIL - look what we have managed to get hold of! As you were Lord Justice/ Secretary fo the Royal College of Surgeons/ a Circus Clown we thought you'd like to see it before we sold it on>"

If he liked it enough to take photos, ten he certainly liked it enough to keep it if it was offered to him!

SH'e a CF - publicly embarrass herfor her greed. She probably thought it was worthless, then looked it up and was thrilled see it was worth a couple of hundred, andthenthe Little Green God of Greed jumped onto her shoulder, and she decided sell it on.

You could have sold it yourself - or given it to a museum or whatever. She should be ashamed (but she won't be!)

I'd be furious!