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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CF friend or AIBU?

990 replies

SilverBirchTree · 07/12/2017 00:31

We recently cleared out a family attic and found an antique object that is associated with a profession (think fireman's helmet/doctor's bag/judge's gavel etc). We looked it up online and saw they sell on eBay for between £150-350.

A friend of mine's FIL is retired from this profession and his hobby is researching its history. He has even self published books about it. He is a lovely man who I see about twice a year. He lost his wife a few months ago so he has been in my recent thoughts.

It is such a marvellous object (beautiful with history and craftsmanship) we decided we'd rather see it go to someone who would appreciate it, rather than sell it.

I asked my friend if her FIL would enjoy it. She responded that he would love it. When I dropped it off at her house, she and her husband said something about wrapping it up and making it their Christmas gift to their FIL. I was Hmm because it wasn't really from them, but whatever.

Today I saw on Facebook that she has put the object for sale online. Shock I messaged her a screen shot of the ad with the message '???' She wrote back 'hey, u gave it to us! I'm going to use the money to buy everyone a Chrissy present, not just [FIL]. We showed it to him and he enjoyed looking at it and taking snaps. Time for someone else to enjoy! :)'

I am so annoyed! She's correct that I gave it away- but I didn't give it to her to sell!! I feel like demanding that she either return the object to me or at least give me the money from the sale.

She's a good friend otherwise, but the kind of person who is always hunting for a bargain or a freebie. It was fun at uni but getting a bit tiresome today!!!

AIBU or is my friend a PITA?!

OP posts:
CrypticClues · 08/12/2017 11:31

Does this mean you have it back? One hand to hold the baby, one hand to lovingly stroke your newly re-aquired antique ram castrator... put one of them down and type! Grin

grobagsforever · 08/12/2017 11:32
SchadenfreudePersonified · 08/12/2017 11:32

Stop feeding that baby, he'll grow up spoilt!!

Damn right Contessa. But the time he goes to school he'll be expecting a meal EVERY DAY!

runsmidgeOMG · 08/12/2017 11:32

@LaContessaDiPlump 😂😂

Aibu to be inconvenienced by someone feeding their baby instead of updating their thread ?

😂😂😂 also lighthearted

Original poster
SilverBirchTree · 08/12/2017 11:42

Ok! So sorry for the wait!

DH was supposed to go to CF's house this evening but decided at the last minute to invite CF's husband (hereafter 'DH of CF') for a beer after work instead. (Sorry for the Australian stereotype, that's honestly how my DH likes to resolve everything)

They met up and im told the following took place:

DH and DH of CF: 45 minutes talk about sports. Including the Ashes, obviously.

Then-
DH: what's the deal with [object]?
DH of CF: embarrassed oh god what has she done?

According to DH of CF they were all set to wrap it up for FIL but then DH of CF made the mistake of googling the item and mentioning its value to CF. after that CF kept saying it was crazy to give it away, that I must not realise what it's worth, that it would be mad not to sell it.

DH of CF says he told her to check with me, make sure I realised how valuable it was before giving it to his Dad, and that was the last he heard about the object.

DH of CF said (apparently verbatim) 'this is a joke, even for her. I'm so sorry'

DH of CF said to leave it with him, he'll talk to her and get back to us.

So to summarise: I don't have the object yet. The eBay listing is still live (and enjoying some healthy bids, who knew there was such a market for my granddaddy's trusty antique ram castrator the [object]? But I am hopeful that DH of CF will make her accountable in some way.

Is that an ending? I feel terrible that you've all waited and I can't post a triumphant photo of me holding the [object] over my head in CF victory!

OP posts:
makeitpink · 08/12/2017 11:46

I'm not sure I feel a resolution!! But glad that DH of CF seems to be a reasonable chap.

crazycatlady5 · 08/12/2017 11:46

That’s not enough of an ending yet!! We must know when you get it back! I feel sorry for DH of CF, clearly has to deal with her shit on the regs 😂

Weirdpostthrudoor · 08/12/2017 11:47

So CF FIL hadn't even seen the item??

woofmiaowwoof · 08/12/2017 11:48

you've got to wonder when the CF thought 'it'd be mad not to sell it' she was too stupid to think that perhaps it was worth more to you that someone like FIL that appreciated it had it?

She sounds awful. And also that then she felt she had the right to appropriate that money...

magoria · 08/12/2017 11:48

You know she is going to sell it and you are not going to get it back unless you are proactive about that eBay listing.

BaffledMummy · 08/12/2017 11:49

Oh gawd she sounds hideous! I feel a bit sorry for DH of CF.

iggleypiggly · 08/12/2017 11:49

OP I think you need to DM some of us the eBay link, she will get so excited to have a huge bidding war.... imagine her face!

Original poster
SilverBirchTree · 08/12/2017 11:49

@Weirdpost - I don't think FIL knows it exists, from what DH said.

OP posts:
Wafflenose · 08/12/2017 11:49

So are you going to get DH of CF to give the object to his dad, or will you demand it back?

alphajuliet123 · 08/12/2017 11:49

When does the listing end? You need to sort this out before it does! (and if needs be bid on it yourself)

MrsKoala · 08/12/2017 11:49

That I must not realise what it's worth, that it would be mad not to sell it.

That is so calculating. If she thought you didn’t know how much it was worth surely she knows she should tell you and that she is basically stealing from you.

Emerald92 · 08/12/2017 11:50

@iggleypiggly brilliant idea haha

CoffeeWithMyOxygen · 08/12/2017 11:50

Good grief. So she’s a theif and a liar, happy to steal from both her FIL and a friend. If I were here DH I’d be considering our relationship, I couldn’t be married to someone who’d happily steal several hundred pounds from friends and family.

Please do update when you actually have it back though, it’s not over until she’s got her grubby mitts off it!

MrsKoala · 08/12/2017 11:52

Oh yes, bid a massive amount on it yourself under a guise and then turn up for collection ‘with the cash’ and see her greedy little eyes pop. Grin

CrypticClues · 08/12/2017 11:52

So they were going to wrap it? Were they going to pretend it was from them? I'd still be wanting husband to go round and collect asap I think, enough's enough.

AhNowTed · 08/12/2017 11:54

Wait a minute... they were going to wrap it up as a gift from THEM??

HandbagKrabby · 08/12/2017 11:54

Wow! I couldn’t be friends with someone like this. Grasping cow. Imagine having a friend for years and then exploiting their good nature for a bit of cash you don’t even need?

CoffeeWithMyOxygen · 08/12/2017 11:54

Actually I agree with some of the others - given this confirmation that she knows she’s stealing it would make me even more determined to report to eBay. You don’t want to risk the auction ending in the time it takes her DH to get the item back, and frankly eBay should be aware that she’s happy to sell stolen goods.

RhiannonOHara · 08/12/2017 11:54

I don't think FIL knows it exists, from what DH said.

I think that's the case too.

I wouldn't trust CF's DH to sort it out, TBH. I'd turn up on their doorstep and demand it back.

therealposieparker · 08/12/2017 11:55

Bid for it. A whopping great big bid... in a brand new eBay account.

Obviously don't pay.

(sees Koala got in there first)

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