Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CF friend or AIBU?

990 replies

SilverBirchTree · 07/12/2017 00:31

We recently cleared out a family attic and found an antique object that is associated with a profession (think fireman's helmet/doctor's bag/judge's gavel etc). We looked it up online and saw they sell on eBay for between £150-350.

A friend of mine's FIL is retired from this profession and his hobby is researching its history. He has even self published books about it. He is a lovely man who I see about twice a year. He lost his wife a few months ago so he has been in my recent thoughts.

It is such a marvellous object (beautiful with history and craftsmanship) we decided we'd rather see it go to someone who would appreciate it, rather than sell it.

I asked my friend if her FIL would enjoy it. She responded that he would love it. When I dropped it off at her house, she and her husband said something about wrapping it up and making it their Christmas gift to their FIL. I was Hmm because it wasn't really from them, but whatever.

Today I saw on Facebook that she has put the object for sale online. Shock I messaged her a screen shot of the ad with the message '???' She wrote back 'hey, u gave it to us! I'm going to use the money to buy everyone a Chrissy present, not just [FIL]. We showed it to him and he enjoyed looking at it and taking snaps. Time for someone else to enjoy! :)'

I am so annoyed! She's correct that I gave it away- but I didn't give it to her to sell!! I feel like demanding that she either return the object to me or at least give me the money from the sale.

She's a good friend otherwise, but the kind of person who is always hunting for a bargain or a freebie. It was fun at uni but getting a bit tiresome today!!!

AIBU or is my friend a PITA?!

OP posts:
justpoppingby · 08/12/2017 08:35

It is possible to bid and win eBay items and the seller 'mark' them as paid and delivered regardless of whether the buyer actually paid and took delivery or not. Without damaging either reputation. I would put a massive on and win, then not actually pay. 😬

mousemoose · 08/12/2017 08:35

You don’t even need to worry her by being blunt and direct as she clearly has the skin of a RHINO! Unbelievable.

ptumbi · 08/12/2017 08:39

'colony of thieves' Grin - yes the ones that originated in/were exported from - Britain!

Is CF British descent, OP? Grin

whinetime89 · 08/12/2017 08:40

Cf extreme!

mikeyssister · 08/12/2017 09:10

What happened???

ArialAnna · 08/12/2017 09:17

OP please do not give up on this!! Out of principle you can't let her get away with it. If your DH fails to get it back then report it as stolen to eBay asap.

Hippobottymus · 08/12/2017 09:28

Seriously though, I'm quite non-confrontational but even I would've contacted Ebay to explain this wasn't hers to sell. I really hope you get it back, I know it's not the same as before as it's now got bad memories attached BUT if you don't get it back you've lost the object and a friend

makeitpink · 08/12/2017 09:28

I don't think I can enjoy Christmas 🎄 until I know the outcome!!!!!!! How did DH get on OP?

CaveMum · 08/12/2017 09:30

Definitely don’t give up on it OP, she needs to know she can’t walk all over people like this.

Also, never mind “taking a break” from her, once this is resolved you need to cut all contact. She’s not your friend, friends don’t behave like this. In fact, no decent person behaves like this!

Whatsinanameanyway201 · 08/12/2017 09:32

I honestly cannot believe what I'm reading!
Absolutely not normal behavior on your 'friends' part. Horrendous!
I sincerely hope you get it back soon, its not hers to sell! Should have absolutely returned it once FIL had taken his snaps and finished with it, along with a huge thank you for considering them in the first bloody place.

Bumdishcloths · 08/12/2017 09:37

This is horrendous, what an awful 'friend' Confused

Boys123 · 08/12/2017 09:48

Fwiw I don't agree with your DH's opinion on how the rest of the world view Australians. I was very surprised when you said you were in Australia. Your "friend" is a greedy cow and one would hope whatever nationality she were, there's not too many more like her roaming the earth. I'm quite surprised you can continue a friendship with her following such awful behaviour. She has shown you such disrespect and she is being so disloyal.

Well done on keeping your cool with her. How long is left on the ebay auction? One would wonder if her comfortable lifestyle is down to swindling others instead of working hard for all she has in life.

Witchend · 08/12/2017 09:55

Tell ebay it's stolen goods.

SunnyCoco · 08/12/2017 09:57

Unbelievable cheek!

Witchend · 08/12/2017 09:58

I just called my DH, he's going to pass CF house on the way home from work. Told him about this thread and he said I haven't helped Australias reputation:

'They already think it's a colony for thieves...'

That mad me laugh. I've only ever heard it said as a joke though.
All we know now is that Australia has at least one CF-and we know UK has far more than that. Grin

Hortonlovesahoo · 08/12/2017 10:07

Did you get a reply from her DH OP? I’d definitely contact eBay as it’s not her goods to sell.

HuckfromScandal · 08/12/2017 10:12

OMG - this one has to be contender for CF ever in the history of MN!

StrangeLookingParasite · 08/12/2017 10:14

God, she is such an opportunistic shitbag. Greedy as hell, too, though that sort quite often are. Hope you get the item back.

MiddleClassProblem · 08/12/2017 10:22

Has she messaged back?

Original poster
SilverBirchTree · 08/12/2017 10:35

hi, sorry I haven't updated, it's going to be a long one so just waiting until I have a hand free. We're all at the mercy of a grumpy cluster feeding baby!

I'm dying to just tell you what the object is, but it's a bit outing and I don't want to end up on daily mail. No one has guessed it yet but one person was very close.

OP posts:
Zoomaa · 08/12/2017 10:37
B0033 · 08/12/2017 10:39
ConciseandNice · 08/12/2017 10:39

*sits back with a pack of custard creams and a cuppa to await update

Zoomaa · 08/12/2017 10:40
Zoomaa · 08/12/2017 10:40

nice x post :)