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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CF friend or AIBU?

990 replies

SilverBirchTree · 07/12/2017 00:31

We recently cleared out a family attic and found an antique object that is associated with a profession (think fireman's helmet/doctor's bag/judge's gavel etc). We looked it up online and saw they sell on eBay for between £150-350.

A friend of mine's FIL is retired from this profession and his hobby is researching its history. He has even self published books about it. He is a lovely man who I see about twice a year. He lost his wife a few months ago so he has been in my recent thoughts.

It is such a marvellous object (beautiful with history and craftsmanship) we decided we'd rather see it go to someone who would appreciate it, rather than sell it.

I asked my friend if her FIL would enjoy it. She responded that he would love it. When I dropped it off at her house, she and her husband said something about wrapping it up and making it their Christmas gift to their FIL. I was Hmm because it wasn't really from them, but whatever.

Today I saw on Facebook that she has put the object for sale online. Shock I messaged her a screen shot of the ad with the message '???' She wrote back 'hey, u gave it to us! I'm going to use the money to buy everyone a Chrissy present, not just [FIL]. We showed it to him and he enjoyed looking at it and taking snaps. Time for someone else to enjoy! :)'

I am so annoyed! She's correct that I gave it away- but I didn't give it to her to sell!! I feel like demanding that she either return the object to me or at least give me the money from the sale.

She's a good friend otherwise, but the kind of person who is always hunting for a bargain or a freebie. It was fun at uni but getting a bit tiresome today!!!

AIBU or is my friend a PITA?!

OP posts:
Nelly1727 · 08/12/2017 06:34

Looking forward to an update. Some people are unbelievable.

Ishouldcocomonkey · 08/12/2017 06:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
SilverBirchTree · 08/12/2017 06:52

I just called my DH, he's going to pass CF house on the way home from work. Told him about this thread and he said I haven't helped Australias reputation:

'They already think it's a colony for thieves...'

OP posts:
123MothergotafleA · 08/12/2017 06:55

That one has a brass neck and that's a fact.
Utterly shameless hussy she is! I want you to get your ram castrator back for dear old Fil. That would be a perfect end to this tale of CF.

Humphreyhippo · 08/12/2017 06:59

I would worry that CF would somehow persuade FiL to part with it and then just try to sell it again. Sad for FiL though.

I know it’s too identifying, but I really want to know what the object is!

HeteronormativeHaybales · 08/12/2017 07:03

You are being much too nice in your tone. She reads that and knows you still feel obligated to be nice (goodness knows why) so she knows she and her outrageous behaviour retain the upper hand.

It's hard to believe someone you considered a friend could have so little self-awareness or shame.

DavidBeckhamsleftfoot · 08/12/2017 07:04

Cannot believe the cheeky fuckery!!!

showmewhatyougot · 08/12/2017 07:06

Hehe! Colony for thieves Grin

What a cf, hope you manage to get it back. If the object has a bid or buy now function, you could make sure you buy it/highest offer , to ward off any other potential offers, as long as you don't mind that horrid negative feedback!

Sancerresanwine · 08/12/2017 07:07

Haha a colony for thieves Grin

About this friend of yours - the cheeky fucker!!

MakeMisogynyAHateCrime · 08/12/2017 07:09

You are messaging this woman as though she is your friend. She is an opportunist who is taking advantage of you. You cannot come back from this and salvage a friendship.
I would send

“I do not appreciate the fluffy tone you are using in your messages. There are no two ways about this - you are taking advantage of me, you are stealing from either me or your father in law and you are morally bankrupt. I will be contacting eBay to let them know the listing is a stolen item and I will be telling everyone we know about this whole sorry affair at bang on 8pm unless you hand it over to (DH) when he arrives at your house.”

feebeemee · 08/12/2017 07:09

Good grief! No matter how many times I read these CF threads I'm always aghast at the sheer cheek of these people. This one is right up there. Hope your DH has some luck getting it back. Like others have said though, I think I'd be writing this friendship off!

EmmaJR1 · 08/12/2017 07:11

Your husbands a funny one! 😂😂😂 at colony of thieves! Definitely contact eBay. Screw her online reputation she should be more worried about her RL one!

B0033 · 08/12/2017 07:15

Don't give up, op. Get it back and cut ties!

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/12/2017 07:26

Colony of thieves. Probably part of a stash of stolen goods hidden in the attic. Wink

LazyDailyMailJournos · 08/12/2017 07:28
SquitMcJit · 08/12/2017 07:39

I think it’s an antique police truncheon...

celticecho · 08/12/2017 08:02

My god, that CF has got some front! Hope you manage to get it back one way or another!!

TwoIsQuiteEnoughThankyou · 08/12/2017 08:04

How does this place-marking thing work?

why12345 · 08/12/2017 08:08

I'm so mad for you! I can't believe your friend has done this!! Get it back!! Cheeky moo!

ScarlettOH · 08/12/2017 08:21

I can’t believe how brazen your friend is about this! You’d think she would be embarrassed but I suppose CF like her never are!

LittleLights · 08/12/2017 08:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsKoala · 08/12/2017 08:26

People like this don’t see it as meanness and theft, they see it in simpler terms (conveniently). You don’t want it so they are free to do what they want with it, if they sell it they are clever entrepreneurs cleverer than everyone else.

It reminds me of that scene in goodfellas where the wife says they just saw it as their husbands going the extra mile for their family and those that didn’t were stupid and lazy. As opposed to moral and not criminals.

She won’t ever see it. Deep down she knows tho, especially if she doesn’t want her dh to know.

Good luck.

MrsKoala · 08/12/2017 08:28

Oh and I a absolutely wouldn’t contemplate giving it to the fil. She sounds like the type of person who can’t admit they are wrong and would bully him into giving it to her to sell ‘for him’ to buy the grandkids some presents. She’d find a way to get her hands on it some how.

Cagliostro · 08/12/2017 08:31

I agree I wouldn't want to give it to FIL now which is such a shame.

She clearly thought she could get away with leaving it on ebay, maybe she thinks you wouldn't realize. Like my ex friend bitching on Twitter forgetting that anyone can see it even if they don't follow her :o

Good luck to your DH

Zoomaa · 08/12/2017 08:35

I can't believe how stubborn she is being. Cheeky to begin with but now it really is out and out theft.

What a bitch.

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