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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at Oh wanking?

175 replies

Missmackenzie89 · 26/08/2017 15:40

Long time lurker but first time posting. Live with my boyfriend of 10 months, no children yet.

We've discussed wanking in the past, I know it's a normal part of life and I know he does it it's normal, but I have previously said that i would find it weird if i was in the bed when he did it (as in if I wasn't involved in the act lol).

Well this morning was the second morning just this week that I have been woken up by him pleasuring himself. Both times I had no idea how to react, I didn't want to embarrass him, and I genuinely didn't know whether to say anything. I don't really appreciate being woken up at 6.30 on a Saturday morning by the bed shaking and heavy breathing... We have an active sex life and although it's aunt flow week he's had plenty of other action, and we had full intercourse just on Thursday so he's not "deprived". I don't know whether to say anything to him or just pretend i don't know but I'm a bit annoyed to be honest. Especially because I have said in the past that I don't like the idea of him doing it while I'm in bed, the way I look it as it's either private or a joint effort not somewhere in between.

OP posts:
GoldenOrb · 26/08/2017 17:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsHarry · 26/08/2017 17:36

No!!!! I mean it should be private or mutual.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 26/08/2017 17:41

Oh right Grin

JemmyBloocher · 26/08/2017 17:50

Ugh. I used to have a boyfriend who was always wanting next to me in bed while I was 'asleep'. So annoying. He did it a couple of times and then I decided he wasn't attractive anymore and no longer wanted sex with him at all, consequently he was at it all the time. I had complained before he turned me off, so he had been warned, but no...Seriously, it's selfish. He needs to knock it on the head. If he can't or he needs sex twice a day or something then maybe he needs to look at sex addiction therapy.

JemmyBloocher · 26/08/2017 17:51

wanking. Not wanting.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 26/08/2017 17:54

His body his choice

wtf does that apply to men wanking in publications

I wouldn't want to be woken up like that there is always the bathroom he could use

I was once woken up in a similar situation then told not to move as he wanted to spunk over my back Angry he didn't

Original poster
Missmackenzie89 · 26/08/2017 18:06

Eyebrowsonfleek... that's a separate issue. On both occasions this week he has "finished" in his boxers.. which I wash. Lovely stuff.

OP posts:
BlueberryPuffin · 26/08/2017 18:09

He has you wash his underwear for him too?

LTB. Find a better man.

Willow2017 · 26/08/2017 18:10

His boxers, his washing Wink Sod that for a game of soldiers.

Ecadia · 26/08/2017 18:13

In his boxers Shock maybe a box of tissues next to the bed. You definitely need to talk to him about it

GoldenOrb · 26/08/2017 18:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CatsAreAssholes · 26/08/2017 18:43

was once woken up in a similar situation then told not to move as he wanted to spunk over my back angry he didn't

Would he have he even woken you iand asked if you'd not woken on your own??Shock

Notknownatthisaddress · 26/08/2017 18:49

@Chips4teaplease

people's expectations re sex vary. I would expect the majority of people to find Thursday to Saturday a long gap. The idea that people should leave their own beds to wank is ridiculous.

I assume you are joking. Anyone who thinks 36 hours is a big gap between fucks, needs to get out more.

And no, YANBU OP! It's very rude and inconsiderate of your OP to disturb you so early. (And frankly, it's fucking weird that he wanks himself off while you're asleep.)

Pengggwn · 26/08/2017 18:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cambionome · 26/08/2017 18:54

Exactly what Notknown said. And don't wash his disgusting crusty boxers for him - tell him that you are leaving them for him to do.

Notknownatthisaddress · 26/08/2017 19:00

Ew @Cambionome and Pengggwn. I never noticed the OP washes his spunky crusty boxers. VOM !!! Put me right off my garlic dip that has! Sad

ForalltheSaints · 26/08/2017 19:45

A man's view.

Wanting is a private thing and I would never do it in front of anyone, asleep or not.

QuitMoaning · 26/08/2017 19:57

@chips4teaplease

Thursday evening to Saturday morning a long time? Majority of people?
It is 36 hours and when you take sleep and work out the equation that works out about to be one night.

One night without sex.

Words fail me.

Allthewaves · 26/08/2017 20:00

My exact words wpuld have been 'ffs why on earth are you wanking while I'm asleep in the bed - you have woke me up' then I would have given him a death stare

BeepBeepMOVE · 26/08/2017 20:01

I would be peeved if I couldn't masturbate in my own bed. Also Thursday to Saturday would be too long for me and I have no idea where else I'd do it other than in bed.

thesleepystorm · 26/08/2017 20:03

Also Thursday to Saturday would be too long for me and I have no idea where else I'd do it other than in bed.

Really? Do you not have any other rooms in your house?

DH and I managed it once a week last month and I thought that was loads, I cba to do it more than that Grin

Tensecondrule · 26/08/2017 20:04

I think a sharp elbow in the ribs and "pack that in" should do it 😬

BlueberryPuffin · 26/08/2017 20:08

"I should be able masturbate in my own bed"

Okay. But there are some things we just don't do around other people, like letting rip huge farts and then gratuitously sniffing them. I should be free to do that in my own bed, but if my gf or bf was staying over, I wouldn't do it.

If somebody can't make that distinction, I would assume they have some sort of socialisation issue and are unable to recognise normal/decent behaviour.

Screwinthetuna · 26/08/2017 20:11

He's waking you up at the crack of dawn wanking next to you, cumming in his boxies and then leaving you to wash the crusty things?
Erm no, that's very odd! I'd be pissed off (and slightly put off) by that.
It's what I'd expect from a horny 15 year old boy, except they'd have the decency to be alone in bed!

Why doesn't he just go and have a wank in the bathroom if he's that desperate? YADNBU

FallingOrbit · 26/08/2017 20:11

like letting rip huge farts and then gratuitously sniffing them

Speak for your self.

I love wanking and farting at the same time, to me it's a wonderful combination and anyone who disagrees is just plain unreasonable.

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