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Original poster

To be annoyed at Oh wanking?

175 replies

Missmackenzie89 · 26/08/2017 15:40

Long time lurker but first time posting. Live with my boyfriend of 10 months, no children yet.

We've discussed wanking in the past, I know it's a normal part of life and I know he does it it's normal, but I have previously said that i would find it weird if i was in the bed when he did it (as in if I wasn't involved in the act lol).

Well this morning was the second morning just this week that I have been woken up by him pleasuring himself. Both times I had no idea how to react, I didn't want to embarrass him, and I genuinely didn't know whether to say anything. I don't really appreciate being woken up at 6.30 on a Saturday morning by the bed shaking and heavy breathing... We have an active sex life and although it's aunt flow week he's had plenty of other action, and we had full intercourse just on Thursday so he's not "deprived". I don't know whether to say anything to him or just pretend i don't know but I'm a bit annoyed to be honest. Especially because I have said in the past that I don't like the idea of him doing it while I'm in bed, the way I look it as it's either private or a joint effort not somewhere in between.

OP posts:
SinisterBumFacedCat · 27/08/2017 00:19

Am I the only person who saw the thread title and thought it might be about a dodgy musical?

IrritatedUser1960 · 27/08/2017 00:19

I bloody hate that it's totally rank. There is no reason why he can't do that in the shower. That would be and partially was a relationship breaker for me.

IrritatedUser1960 · 27/08/2017 00:23

I bloody hate that it's totally rank. There is no reason why he can't do that in the shower. That would be and partially was a relationship breaker for me.

Sallystyle · 27/08/2017 00:23

If you didnt wake up how would you know?

Because I'm an awfully light sleeper. Which is why I have my own room.

It would be somewhat of a miracle if I slept through someone wanking next to me.

You aren't going to convince me that most men are wanking off in front of their partners when they are sleeping. Not when they know they don't like it. Pretty sure any decent man who knows their partner doesn't like it can manage to take their erection to the bathroom if they need a wank.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 27/08/2017 00:24

To be fair to the poor chap, men get awful ballache if they don't ejaculate regularly. So there is a medical need to knock one out at least daily, if not more often

Utter tosh!

Circumlocutor · 27/08/2017 00:31

'What I really think the weirdest thing about this thread is the posters who are so concerned over other people's sex lives tbh.....'

Nah, the weirdest thing about this thread is that its one of many this weekend about bodily emissions. And the only posts from the OP seem a bit 'descriptive'...

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 27/08/2017 00:37

Soooo descriptive!

AnnieAnoniMouse · 27/08/2017 00:42

I bloody hate that it's totally rank. There is no reason why he can't do that in the shower. That would be and partially was a relationship breaker for me

Why do you think someone wanking is rank & a relationship breaker?!

golemico · 27/08/2017 00:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Notknownatthisaddress · 27/08/2017 01:04

@Chips4teaplease

You must all be sexless! What's wrong with daily? Anyone with small children is excused, life is too exhausting... but if you're relatively free, why not? Just do it. What are you sitting around waiting for?

I feel very sorry for you if all you can think about doing is shagging.

There are dozens of things you could be doing when you are not working or sleeping. Chatting, giggling, watching tv, doing the garden, going for a walk, having a meal together or with friends, visiting the cinema, the shopping centre, the beach, the woods, relatives, writing stories/poems/ letters, surfing the net, meeting friends, reading a book, playing a video game, swimming, badminton, jogging, cycling, painting or drawing, baking, cooking, building something, doing housework; washing, cleaning, taking photographs, shopping, doing a jigsaw, crafting, playing a sport, playing with pets, walking your dog, entertaining and playing with children (if you have any!) Plus many other things........

As I said earlier, anyone who thinks 36 hours is a BIG GAP between shags, needs to get out more, and clearly has nothing else in their relationship except sex.

To be honest, I have come to the conclusion that you are a wind up merchant, or you are 14 and a fantasist, or you are in a relationship that has nothing going for it except shagging. Whichever it is, I feel very sorry for you.

Oh and despite your protestations, most people do NOT think like you, no matter how much you want them to.

@DorisDangleberry

To be fair to the poor chap, men get awful ballache if they don't ejaculate regularly. So there is a medical need to knock one out at least daily, if not more often.

PMSL! Grin Obviously a load of crap!

Please tell me you're not serious and you don't think this! Did your man tell you this ??? LOL! Grin

Willow2017 · 27/08/2017 02:02

Doris
You sound like someone I used to work with.
Her dh had told her if he didn't have sex every morning then his balls would swell up with semen and it was dangerous to his health so she had sex with him every morning for years till we all fell about laughing at work when she said it. (Having general talk about medical stuff in hosp setting and she told us how she knew this particular fact!) She was so naive she had never thought to question it.

She told him where to go after that!

Circumlocutor · 27/08/2017 02:11

Badminton

Grin Grin

Toadinthehole · 27/08/2017 04:46

men get awful ballache if they don't ejaculate regularly

Really? I've never experienced this.

Blush
coconuttella · 27/08/2017 05:13

IMO I'd find this super odd - like I'm right there.... would happily be woken up

I find it super odd that you find the odd part of this that he didn't wake up his DP to have sex instead of wanking when: a) it was very early Saturday morning, b) they'd had full sex 36 hours earlier and engaged in other (unspecified by the OP) sexual activity more recently than that, c) she was on her period.

So you want to shag at each and every opportunity... that's great, but is it really that odd to think that some (most) people aren't literally up for it 24/7, and masturbating alone at times is totally normal in a healthy relationship, just not furiously knocking one out next to your sleeping partner when she's told you she doesn't like it.

coconuttella · 27/08/2017 05:18

You must all be sexless! What's wrong with daily?

Nothing at all if that's what both want it that often, but to think that the majority of people think 36 hours between shags is a long time and amounts to being in a "sexless" relationship is utterly ridiculous!

chips4teaplease · 27/08/2017 07:31

I feel very sorry for you if all you can think about doing is shagging.
I feel very sorry for you if you have a source of joy to hand and can't be bothered to access it. How strange.

thesleepystorm · 27/08/2017 07:41

Some of us prefer chocolate to sex Grin

AbiMichelle · 27/08/2017 07:48

That's just rude! As in impolite.
Tell him you don't appreciate it and that you don't have a problem with him doing it but not next to you in bed and especially not waking you up to it. It's bad manners.

There are plenty of opportunities to do it privately, in the shower, in the bathroom, downstairs if you go to bed early.

eviethehamster · 27/08/2017 07:52

Not on at all. I would NOT be happy.

AdalindSchade · 27/08/2017 07:56

Doris was obviously kidding ffs!

I like sex a lot and mutual masturbation is great, even watching a solo act is fun but only if I'm awake, horny and a willing participant
Anyone who thinks it's ok or normal to quietly bash one out next to me in bed wouldn't be sharing a bed with me for much longer. Go to the bathroom and take care of yourself.

Ahardmanisgoodtofind · 27/08/2017 07:57

Hmmm for me the wanking in bed wouldn't be an issue (I certainly wouldn't want to be sent to the bathroom with my little buzzy bud if I felt the need) but 6.30am? Fuck no.
And if you don't feel comfortable op your dp should respect that. It won't kill him to wait a couple of hours or hop in the shower. Have you asked him why he does this, maybe it's a fantasy or link, hoping you'll wake up and "take over"?

Thatssomecatchthatcatch22 · 27/08/2017 09:38

If you are NOT servicing your man every single day, he has no option but to switch to MANUAL OVERRIDE. Just sayin

Kaybush · 27/08/2017 10:19

My DH is completely unselfconscious and has a really high sex drive. He has, on occasion, if I've not been feeling like having sex when he did, asked if I could go to bed early and, erm, leave him with his laptop, which I found pretty grim at the time.

However, he would never, ever, dream of wanking in bed next to me!! I think I would lose all respect for him if he did.

To me it's akin to the sort of man who leaves the bathroom door open while they're having a poo so they can chat (which I've heard of but never experienced thankfully).

Wilburissomepig · 27/08/2017 10:26

If you are NOT servicing your man every single day, he has no option but to switch to MANUAL OVERRIDE. Just sayin

I'm going to assume that's a joke. Grin

Willow2017 · 27/08/2017 10:53

Doris may or may not have been joking but people actually believe this. My work mate was not joking she was deadly serious and raging at her dh lying to her for years.

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