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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at Oh wanking?

175 replies

Missmackenzie89 · 26/08/2017 15:40

Long time lurker but first time posting. Live with my boyfriend of 10 months, no children yet.

We've discussed wanking in the past, I know it's a normal part of life and I know he does it it's normal, but I have previously said that i would find it weird if i was in the bed when he did it (as in if I wasn't involved in the act lol).

Well this morning was the second morning just this week that I have been woken up by him pleasuring himself. Both times I had no idea how to react, I didn't want to embarrass him, and I genuinely didn't know whether to say anything. I don't really appreciate being woken up at 6.30 on a Saturday morning by the bed shaking and heavy breathing... We have an active sex life and although it's aunt flow week he's had plenty of other action, and we had full intercourse just on Thursday so he's not "deprived". I don't know whether to say anything to him or just pretend i don't know but I'm a bit annoyed to be honest. Especially because I have said in the past that I don't like the idea of him doing it while I'm in bed, the way I look it as it's either private or a joint effort not somewhere in between.

OP posts:
BlueberryPuffin · 26/08/2017 20:15

I love wanking and farting at the same time, to me it's a wonderful combination and anyone who disagrees is just plain unreasonable

Right? And I would be peeved if I couldn't do that in MY OWN CAR, especially if there's heavy traffic on the M25. But for some reason my in-laws kept complaining about it when I was driving them home on Sunday evening.

FallingOrbit · 26/08/2017 20:22

But for some reason my in-laws kept complaining about it when I was driving them home on Sunday evening

Have you talked to them about this? M25 is quite a safe place to do it really, traffic never moves at more than 4mph - what's their problem? I think you should tackle this straight away, they sound very unreasonable.

TheLegendOfBeans · 26/08/2017 20:29

This is - as Trump would say - a "high quality thread" 😂

BUT in all seriousness OP YANBU: it's a complete lack of respect for your boundaries; I also think that this thread shows you that for the vast majority of people masturbation is a private thing (unless mutual as stated above) and that for him to bang one out beside you in bed is not fucking on.

NachoAddict · 26/08/2017 20:32

It's the waking up part that would bother me? I hate being woken up.

I would start waking him up with the hair dryer at 5am and then when he goes mad you have made your point.

FallingOrbit · 26/08/2017 20:40

I would start waking him up with the hair dryer at 5am

You are one kinky human! I like you already!

Keepthebloodynoisedown · 26/08/2017 21:06

I'd probably throw something at dps head and tell him to shut the fuck up I'm not a morning person but that's the only part that would bother me.
But if you've asked him not to do it he should respect that.

NachoAddict · 26/08/2017 21:09

Grin Falling Orbit

garmsfresh · 26/08/2017 21:40

I'm so so glad I am single that's a liability.Why would he not wank elsewhere?

BeautyQueenFromMars · 26/08/2017 21:52

Also Thursday to Saturday would be too long for me

Bloody nora, why can't you manage without sex for ONE day?! I know people have different sex drives, but surely anyone other than a sex addict can cope with no sex for 36 hours, 16 of which will be spent sleeping (generally) and a further 9 at work?

coconuttella · 26/08/2017 22:14

Also Thursday to Saturday would be too long for me

The really wierd thing is that an earlier poster thought this was too long, not just for her, for that majority of people would also feel it was too long to go without! Either there are some
Bullshitters in this thread or some people live in very highly sexed cliques!

Willow2017 · 26/08/2017 22:32

I also don't get it.

Sex on Thursday night.
Sleep.
Work
Do something Friday pm.
Sleep
By 6.30 Saturday morning you cannot deal with not having sex for a full day so you need to d.i.y.
Wtf?

What happens if he has to work late/ early on consecutive week days?
Will he have to have a wank in the middle of the office before he explodes from overload of sperm production?

Pathetic excuse for a partner.

chips4teaplease · 26/08/2017 23:10

You must all be sexless! What's wrong with daily? Anyone with small children is excused, life is too exhausting... but if you're relatively free, why not? Just do it. What are you sitting around waiting for?

I assume you are joking. Anyone who thinks 36 hours is a big gap between fucks, needs to get out more.
No, I'm not joking. Not at all.

chips4teaplease · 26/08/2017 23:11

Shit, are men who haven't had sex for 36 hours sexually deprived?
Not just men...

PurpleMinionMummy · 26/08/2017 23:15

but if you're relatively free, why not?

Because they might not feel like it Hmm

esk1mo · 26/08/2017 23:19

sorry but that is SO weird. ive never ever experienced that or heard of it.

its quite creepy actually, you're asleep. he hasnt tiptoed off to the bathroom. he hasnt even waited an extra few hours for a morning fumble. no one is THAT horny. hes weird, none of this "his bed his choice" shit. its weird as fuck.

AngeloMysterioso · 26/08/2017 23:31

I don't think I'd care about the wanking but my DH knows full well that if he's gonna wake me before I'm ready at the weekend he better have a chocolate croissant in one hand and a cup of tea in the other - otherwise leave me the fuck to sleep.

scottishdiem · 26/08/2017 23:41

So how many people here know what its like to wake up with an erection that will only go away with a wank. Or a good long wait?

Waking someone up whilst having a wank is a bad thing yes, but there seems to be a level of criticism for actually wanking that is unwarranted.

I suggest different bedrooms at night. Having a wank at the same place where you have a shite is a bit grim.

IamAporcupine · 26/08/2017 23:43

I would expect the majority of people to find Thursday to Saturday a long gap.

still laughing at this Grin

Sallystyle · 26/08/2017 23:53

how many people here know what its like to wake up with an erection that will only go away with a wank. Or a good long wait?

Well. I have a husband, and while I don't know what it is like to have an erection I do know my husband wakes up with an erection every morning and doesn't have a wank every morning. If he did want to wank every morning and we shared a bed he would simply find somewhere else to do it if I had a problem with him doing it around me while I'm sleeping.

In fact. Every man I have ever been with (not a great deal in all fairness) woke up with erections which took quite a while to go and none of them wanked off in the bed when I was sleeping.

Sallystyle · 26/08/2017 23:57

You must all be sexless! What's wrong with daily? Anyone with small children is excused, life is too exhausting... but if you're relatively free, why not? Just do it. What are you sitting around waiting for?

I, or no one else here needs to be excused by you for not having daily sex Grin

I am not sexless because I can go 36 hours without sex, most of which will be sleeping and working. There is nothing wrong with daily sex. There is something wrong with not caring about your partner's boundaries and comfort levels because you had to wait 36 hours to fuck.

I suspect you are on a wind up because no one can be this stupid.

BabyAndBunny · 27/08/2017 00:01

IMO I'd find this super odd - like I'm right there.... would happily be woken up (😏)

I'd definitely find this super odd but tbh I've never encountered any wanking scenarios when I'm home so I guess can't really say... would feel a bit left out - like if he took his dinner to eat alone upstairs when I'm home - fair enough if I'm elsewhere but when I'm around we eat together 😂

scottishdiem · 27/08/2017 00:10

none of them wanked off in the bed when I was sleeping.

If you didnt wake up how would you know?

littlepeas · 27/08/2017 00:10

Weird and awful.

Bluebrollie · 27/08/2017 00:16

I would expect the majority of people to find Thursday to Saturday a long gap.

Lmao. Looks like me and my OH need to have a long HARD look at our sex life then.

What I really think the weirdest thing about this thread is the posters who are so concerned over other people's sex lives tbh.....

Like.... live and let shag, whenever you want, not when and because someone tells you what's 'normal' or what the 'majority of people' think. As long as you respect your partner whilst doing so, does it even really matter?

Idgaf how often my OH wanks but I'd be pissed off if he did it next to me whilst I was asleep. Especially if it woke me up. I'd just ask him to do it elsewhere cause it would make me feel a little uncomfortable, surely if he was a decent human he would just be fine if you asked him to refrain from spewing his ball fluid all over you and your bed at 6am on a Saturday morn

DorisDangleberry · 27/08/2017 00:19

To be fair to the poor chap, men get awful ballache if they don't ejaculate regularly. So there is a medical need to knock one out at least daily, if not more often.