Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who should have been allowed to use the shower first? DH or DD???

126 replies

LastChristmas100 · 23/08/2017 23:54

DH has been visiting family this evening (a 2 hour drive away) and picked up DD from work on the way home (she's 18 and finishes at 11pm) they both got in very tired. DD works in a supermarket doing shelves, DH has had a long drive home. He pays the bills, who should have got it first?

OP posts:
ladygracie · 23/08/2017 23:55

Who has to get up first in the morning?

fabulousathome · 23/08/2017 23:55

DH because he drove her home.

GreenTulips · 23/08/2017 23:56

Showers are are 2 mins - unless hair washing is needed

DD more than likely to take longer so DH first as quicker DD after as takes much longer

Original poster
LastChristmas100 · 23/08/2017 23:57

Neither have to be up first tomorrow. DD is on summer holidays and DH no longer works (sold business).

OP posts:
Cherrytart6 · 23/08/2017 23:57

What stays up later and who gets up earlier?

Viviennemary · 23/08/2017 23:58

Whoever would be the quickest. But age before youth as well.

LovingLola · 23/08/2017 23:58

In our house dh would always go first. He is in and out of the shower in 5 minutes. Then dd (17) can go in for as long as she likes! No issue.

YogiYoni · 23/08/2017 23:59

They argued about this? The shower is not the problem...

BackieJerkhart · 23/08/2017 23:59

Whoever baggsied it obv Grin

SprinklesandIcecream · 23/08/2017 23:59

Whoever is quickest.

youhaveafacefortheradio · 23/08/2017 23:59

Initially I thought DD as she'd been working but I'm thinking DH as he'd most likely be quicker.

Original poster
LastChristmas100 · 24/08/2017 00:05

Well, not sure if it was an argument but DH said he was going to be having a shower when he gets in and DD said no because she always has one as soon as she gets in from work and he said no she wouldn't even have a shower of it wasn't for him and then she said if you're really quick you can have one and he didn't say thank you so she moaned a bit and he said he doesn't need to say thank you because he should have got it anyway........

OP posts:
GreenTulips · 24/08/2017 00:06

I think you need to switch off and ignore the toddlers .....

Crispbutty · 24/08/2017 00:11

One of them could probably have had a quick shower in the time it took for them to bicker about it!

BlackeyedSusan · 24/08/2017 00:13

you. that'd larn 'em

whoever is quickest,
whoever is dirtiest.
whoever needs it most. otherwise take turns.

GabsAlot · 24/08/2017 00:16

how old is your dh 12 cant he just let her do it shes prob knackred

2 hour drive isnt that long u dont need a shower to recover

TheSockGoblin · 24/08/2017 00:20

omg your DH sounds like a bloody child.

Penelopeg · 24/08/2017 00:23

There is no correct answer based on who has been doing what but IMO the daughter should offer her dad the shower first.

Merida83 · 24/08/2017 00:24

i'd say he's the parent, he's done a long drive twice, he's gone out his way to pick her up, he pays the bills and most likely will be quicker so he gets to go first!

Babymamamama · 24/08/2017 00:26

Your dh should as he/you? pays the bills. When your dd gets her own place she can shower whenever she likes.

BlackStars · 24/08/2017 00:28

More than one bathroom - works for us.

CatchingBabies · 24/08/2017 00:29

Your DH. He is most likely going to be quicker and DD should respect her parents enough to let them go first.

melj1213 · 24/08/2017 00:32

Honestly I'd have let your DD have it ... purely on a practical level.

She has been at work all day and stacking shelves is not an easy job so it often leaves you sweaty and dirty I've even found cobwebs in my hair after dealing with some pallets in a far corner of our warehouse . I work in a supermarket (thankfully I now work in customer services not shelf stacking so don't have to get my hands dirty quite so literally any more) and still the first thing I do when I get home is have a shower so that I can get out of my uniform, shower and then get into my PJs/casual clothes and I feel like I can relax. If your DD had to wait for her dad to shower she's going to be sitting in her uniform/work clothes unable to really relax until she can shower and change.

Your DH has had a long drive ... that is neither strenuous or taxing and therefore I doubt it has left him sweaty and dirty so he could have waited an extra 20 minutes so his DD could get out of her work stuff?

GreatFuckability · 24/08/2017 00:38

your DD. she's been working. he drove for a bit. not even comparable imo.

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/08/2017 00:38

he said he doesn't need to say thank you because he should have got it anyway Honestly that's a horrible attitude. Say thank you because it costs nothing and makes the other person happy.

People who withhold thankyous and sorrys because they are petty and churlish really hack me off!