Who should have been allowed to use the shower first? DH or DD???

[LastChristmas100]

DH has been visiting family this evening (a 2 hour drive away) and picked up DD from work on the way home (she's 18 and finishes at 11pm) they both got in very tired. DD works in a supermarket doing shelves, DH has had a long drive home. He pays the bills, who should have got it first?

Is argue that the extra responsibility of paying the bills comes with extra privileges.

I hope you and your partner split bills equally then, otherwise I assume the non bill payer always comes second regardless of the situation?

Whoever is quickest in the bathrrom

Whoever pays the bills.

I can't understand why anyone who claims to be knackered wants to have a shower at nearly midnight and then faff about getting all dry etc just to go to bed.

I can't understand anyone who doesn't have a shower before bed. Well actually I can, because I have the capability to recognise that other people like different inconsequential things like when to shower...

Whoever put their towel on the floor first.
I would say dh as he is the quickest but are people this petty .

Can't believe I spent time reading this thread.....I'm off for a shower.

thenaze
Whoever pays the bills

Seriously?

So a SAHM looking after young kids should always defer to her working OH?
He gets the shower first? Remote control for TV. Gets to decide what's for dinner? Gets the best portion of food.

It's a horrible idea.

Whoever pays the bills.
Does that apply in couples too? I don't currently contribute financially, so does DP get to shower first every time?

I honestly can't imagine my dad ever not letting me jump in the shower first, especially if I'd been at work!

DD because she's more likely to be sweaty from work, unless DH can be really quick. And like PP have said, DH doing the whole "I pay the bills" routine is childish. At that rate DD could do the "I didn't ask to be born, you made me so I should...."!

Who's quicker? That's who should use the shower first.

Urgh what a dick he sounds.

If the exchange is a result of your DD being generally ungrateful I can empathise with your DH.

However if he's forever playing the provider card then he's a dick.

I just RTwholeFT! I need to get out more...

I think your DH is being a dick! My DDad would never play the "pay the bills card". My mum does that and it makes me so cross! Yet, if you think about it, my dad actually pays the bills because my mum doesn't work.

If I had been at work all day, stacking shelves and getting dirty, my dad definitely would have let me go first. He also doesn't see driving for 2 hours as a big deal at all.

I think your DH should concede and let DD have the shower first. Not really worth causing an argument over and 2 hour drive is nothing.

This is like a management question. You have managers who say 'i am the boss so I can set up everything to work to my personal advantage..thats my right as the boss.. Make me a cup of tea underling' or managers who say 'i am the responsible one who makes sure my team are happy first'.

DH should have had the first shower. Basic gratitude and respect from the DD.

who ever is quickest, probably dh?

Person who said first first.
Shortest shower first.
And frankly, I'm with your DH, he said he was going to use the shower, it's his house, DD has no right to make demands or throws strops, and he is the parent. Where's the respect from DD.? Wouldnt have dared do this with my own father, even now.

notangelinajolie

But it would never get to that because my DH would always put DD first no matter what the situation.

I think I have to teach your daughter. She's the one who lacks basic social skills, right? Scowled at me when I picked another child to be line leader and sulked when she didn't win on sports day?

All are being unreasonable. Dh needs to put his hand in his pocket and provide another shower obviously. Or your dd needs to move out into her own place asap. What a mountain out of a molehill.

Jesus christ

Flip a coin

Whomever is faster should have the first shower.

But my house, my rules/ I pay the bills, I win is such a bullshit attitude. Parents choose to have children, so along with that comes all the responsibilities of feeding, clothing and sheltering them. You don't get to play the 'I'm doing you a favour' card when it comes to basic needs.

I would be so disappointed if my DH ever said that to our DC.

Ah wow my DH would always let the kids do what they needed before him.

I think that the DH possibly only said the "I pay the bills" line to put things in perspective to an entitled teenager that told him he couldn't have a shower because she was. She sounds a bit of a madam to me. If she'd have been moaning to me I would have told her that the pair of them need to grow up.

In our house DH would have gone in first as it is commonly accepted that he takes 2 mins and DS and DD take 2 hours.

Whilst you DH may have been a tad childish to "pull rank" because he pays the bills, I think your DD sounds rather entitled to say he could have a shower first if he was quick and expect a thank you for her oh so generous offer.