Who should have been allowed to use the shower first? DH or DD???

[LastChristmas100]

DH has been visiting family this evening (a 2 hour drive away) and picked up DD from work on the way home (she's 18 and finishes at 11pm) they both got in very tired. DD works in a supermarket doing shelves, DH has had a long drive home. He pays the bills, who should have got it first?

Op, the only reasonable thing to do here is move out and let them get on with it.

The only time anyone baggsies a shower in this house is if they are going out first. Otherwise it's fair game. I pay the bills, it wouldn't begin to occur to me to use that as an excuse to get in first. It's entirely irrelevant.

Does your husband often talk about paying the bills to get his own way?

pathetic. A grown man demanding a shower first because he pays the bills? Wow. I do hope this was a light hearted thread otherwise he comes across as a wanker.

he said no she wouldn't even have a shower of it wasn't for him

Disgusting thing to say.

In our family we all have equal rights to our home and facilities.

I was a SAHM for many years and my OH supported me financially.

Would that mean he always got to use the shower/toilet/pick the TV channel because if it was not for him we wouldn't have these things?

I can't believe this has even caused an argument.

Neither of them, they should be able to sort it out themselves. If the worst comes to the worst toss a coin. I'd rather go second anyway, a shower with Dad hovering outside waiting would hardly be pleasant.

Turn the shower off at the mains so as neither can have one.

It's a sad state if a family are arguing over such trivial things.

OP is there often such tension in your family?

Ummmm... go straight to bed and have a shower in the morning?? Whoever gets up first gets the shower first. Easy.

I can't understand why anyone who claims to be knackered wants to have a shower at nearly midnight and then faff about getting all dry etc just to go to bed.

Weird thing to ask on here! Does it matter?!

What earthly business is it of yours?!

They are both adults (by age, at least). If you are asking out of anthropological curiosity that is one thing (and personally, I think the answer "whoever bagsied it" is the correct analysis of this complex and recondite hypothesis). If your family really do expect you to work this sort of thing out for them then perhaps you should take a week's holiday to a spa in order to demonstrate that they are able to exist without your micro-management.

Failing that,

Weird thing to ask on here! Does it matter?!

😂😂 have you been on mumsnet long?? Its pretty much all like this!

They should have tossed for it.

They should have arm-wrestled for it.

Or played a round of darts.

haha I see this situation like mirroring home.
my dad would have said the same.being a teenager and not giving a f* my sis and brother would have used it first if they got there first and dad would be saying all those stupid (I think often cruel) things through the door.
I see reasoning behind dad as he would take two minutes where as borther (hours) but...
I agree with the comment I giggled at.leave the toddlers to it.

"pays the bills"? Fuck that.

We would always let the child jump in first, provided it was a quick dowse and not a half hour pampering session.

He only drove for 2 hrs, he hasn't been down the mines.

They are both being daft and I can't believe you are giving it any headspace at all

the 'i pay the bills' arguement is the arguement of someone who has no actual reasoning left

Is argue that the extra responsibility of paying the bills comes with extra privileges.

Is argue that the extra responsibility of paying the bills comes with extra privileges.

Surely no one thinks that is fair in a family?

Your DD. she will be dusty dirty and tired from shelf stacking. DH could sit and have a drink and relax from his driving while she's in. Your DD probably feels too grimy to sit down to do the same. Night fill is hard work

I don't think it is toddler like or arsy for the parent who has picked his 18 year old up from work after a longish drive to want to or expect to shower first.

How unpleasant and childish. They should both be offering to let the other have the shower first.

"argue that the extra responsibility of paying the bills comes with extra privileges."

Cue image of the "head of the household" i.e. the man tucking into roast beef with all the trimming, while women and children sup on cabbage soup.

Get in their first, have a big dump and play on your phone for 45 mins.
That'll teach them.

Not quite what I said liz70.

DD - she's been at work. Enough said!

I can't believe so long in shower am in and out in 3 mins and yes, everything gets washed including hair and ilp !!!!