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AIBU?

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Original poster

to be shocked by teenage girls clothing lately

439 replies

fcek · 19/08/2017 17:43

I have my DNiece age 14 on facebook. When she likes a friend's photo, it sometimes appears on my newsfeed (and DH's newsfeed)

DNiece is a sensible girl but like most kids she has everyone at school on her facebook.

So this photo she liked appeared on our facebook newsfeeds today and my DH is shocked and disgusted.

The friend of DNiece is 14. We've met her a few times. She looks older than she is, part due to her height and her development (she's very womanly already) and part due to her clothing being adult woman rather than a 14 year old.

But in this picture, its just awful what she is wearing. She's doing pretty much a kim kardashian bathroom selfie, with a kim kardashian style swimsuit. The ones that cover only half the boob and pushes up your tits. The kind you would see on a lads mag. It's just awful awful.

I thought to myself how can her parents let her dress like that, maybe they aren't on facebook, but low and behold her mother is and has liked and commented on that photo plus others.

Looking through DNiece's other friends (none of whom seem to have private facebook pages) there are quite a few others with very revealing photos.

There's guys with joints, alcohol, knives etc.

DNiece dresses appropriately when I see her, her pictures are all normal 14 year old pictures, but I am a bit concerned about who she is friends with but I won't say...not really my place.

Is this what teenage years are like now? I'm worried about my DD's next few year now.

I know I may get flamed for commenting on what someone wears though. Name changed so no one in RL recognises us

OP posts:
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5
MudGolum · 19/08/2017 18:42

There's guys with joints, alcohol, knives etc.

But you picked a teen girl's clothing to headline?

I hate the sex culture that young people, especially women are pulled into at such a young age. But it's the world we live in. We need to change how we view sex and women as a society. We can't expect a 14 year old to stand against it all. Frothing about one girl muddling her way though life does fuck all. And please DON'T share her facebook here.

SylviaPoe · 19/08/2017 18:48

In the nineties, teenage girls used to wear proper slip style underdresses from Marks and Spencer's when going out in public.

Nothing else over the top, but at least they had a sensible underdress.

AfunaMbatata · 19/08/2017 18:49

Without wanting to be crass, there are lots of sites where people can gratify themselves with what appear to be underage girls without randomly trawling Insta

But for some that's the kink part for them, not just that they are underage but that the pics are of unaware young girls . There are whole sites and subsections on regular porn sites that have pics stolen from instagram of young girls.

grasspigeons · 19/08/2017 18:50

The sparrowhawk - Facebook owns it. She has lost control. She might think it looks great now, it probably does look great,, but in 5 years she might not as fashions change and you grown up a lot between 14 and 18 so your choices might change too. I'm a bit squiffy about photos on Facebook in general.

grannytomine · 19/08/2017 18:50

Well should all young girls dress like nuns in case a pervert looks at them? Doesn't seem reasonable to me.

TheSparrowhawk · 19/08/2017 18:51

Lots of people cringe at photos of them as teens. Why is that a problem?

MorrisZapp · 19/08/2017 18:51

Yanbu. Times have changed. It's pointless saying 'teenagers have always shocked their parents' because that's not what this is about. Teenagers have always followed the latest trends and cults, but porn has never been part of that, and now it is.

My own neices FB used to depress and scare me. What the fuck is going on with teenage girls.

MimsyFluff · 19/08/2017 18:52

My DD's just turned 9 year old friend wears tight crop tops and leggings make me cringe Sad

heartstornastray · 19/08/2017 18:52

Yanbu OP, i have a 12 year old dgd who has a few friends who are posting pics of themselves on social media wearing push up bras and knickers and obviously with the crazy pout to match....can't believe how many on here think it's ok.

TheSparrowhawk · 19/08/2017 18:53

Can someone explain exactly what's wrong with it?

TheSparrowhawk · 19/08/2017 18:54

What's wrong with crop tops and leggings???

BabychamSocialist · 19/08/2017 18:54

In the nineties, teenage girls used to wear proper slip style underdresses from Marks and Spencer's when going out in public.

As a girl from the 90s - did they bollocks!

I remember one big fashion was fishnet style dresses with your pants and bra showing underneath!

ThymeLordIsSpartacus · 19/08/2017 18:55

I used to wear those slip dresses in the 90s. Silky underwear style dresses with doc martens.

DorisDangleberry · 19/08/2017 18:55

In the nineties, teenage girls used to wear proper slip style underdresses from Marks and Spencer's when going out in public.

And I presume they were all home by 9pm for a nice cup of Ovaltine

MrsDeltaB · 19/08/2017 18:56

Thesparrowhawk. Sorry on phone. Valid point. Sad as it is. I think the boundary lies with girls deliberately trying/knowing/thinking they could be seen as sexy, which please, let's face it they are trying to be (sexy, sassy, on fleek etc) the girls themselves don't view uniform as any of that and are less likely to be publicly posting pics.

I do see what you are getting at (sadly) but it's on a slightly different vein

grasspigeons · 19/08/2017 18:57

The sparrowhawk because I have one source for photos of me as a teen. Me,. I control them. I haven't given control to a profit making company and given copies of the photo to everyone who wants to look at them, whether I know them or not.

TheSparrowhawk · 19/08/2017 18:59

What issue would there be with people seeing them grasspigeons?

MrsDelta, so the issue is girls wanting to be seen as sexy? What's the problem with that?

grasspigeons · 19/08/2017 19:01

The swimsuit looks fine btw. It's the being 14 and fb thing that's my issue. A lot of adults go on a safeguarding course and go lock down their fb settings when they've had stuff explained. I think she should lock her settings until she is older and consider the ownership issue,

fridgepants · 19/08/2017 19:02

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the user's request.

reallybadidea · 19/08/2017 19:04

YANBU and what I think has changed is that most parents used to be shocked by the way their teenagers dressed and try and prevent them going out wearing age-inappropriate clothes. Now, as can be seen from many of these posts, parents just shrug their shoulders. Same as they do with alcohol, drugs etc.

And yes I have had a 14 yo daughter and she and her friends didn't dress like that.

TheSparrowhawk · 19/08/2017 19:06

Reallybad, what is the problem with the clothes?

Elendon · 19/08/2017 19:07

So it's okay for an adult female (16, 18?) to have that photo but not a 14 year old?

At what age is it okay for a female to this stuff?

TatianaLarina · 19/08/2017 19:07

Yanbu. Times have changed. It's pointless saying 'teenagers have always shocked their parents' because that's not what this is about. Teenagers have always followed the latest trends and cults, but porn has never been part of that, and now it is

I totally agree.

MorrisZapp · 19/08/2017 19:09

The clothes are hyper sexualised, that's the problem with them.

Elendon · 19/08/2017 19:10

I'm more shocked about the child brides photos 15/16 who are in their 'graduation dresses' post GCSE exams. They all look about 25.

It reminds me of holy communion (shudders).