to be shocked by teenage girls clothing lately

[fcek]

I have my DNiece age 14 on facebook. When she likes a friend's photo, it sometimes appears on my newsfeed (and DH's newsfeed)

DNiece is a sensible girl but like most kids she has everyone at school on her facebook.

So this photo she liked appeared on our facebook newsfeeds today and my DH is shocked and disgusted.

The friend of DNiece is 14. We've met her a few times. She looks older than she is, part due to her height and her development (she's very womanly already) and part due to her clothing being adult woman rather than a 14 year old.

But in this picture, its just awful what she is wearing. She's doing pretty much a kim kardashian bathroom selfie, with a kim kardashian style swimsuit. The ones that cover only half the boob and pushes up your tits. The kind you would see on a lads mag. It's just awful awful.

I thought to myself how can her parents let her dress like that, maybe they aren't on facebook, but low and behold her mother is and has liked and commented on that photo plus others.

Looking through DNiece's other friends (none of whom seem to have private facebook pages) there are quite a few others with very revealing photos.

There's guys with joints, alcohol, knives etc.

DNiece dresses appropriately when I see her, her pictures are all normal 14 year old pictures, but I am a bit concerned about who she is friends with but I won't say...not really my place.

Is this what teenage years are like now? I'm worried about my DD's next few year now.

I know I may get flamed for commenting on what someone wears though. Name changed so no one in RL recognises us

I used to go out in ripped fishnets, spike heels and tiny skirts. I was a goth and I dressed for me (and pale, neurotic teenage boys!).

The issue isn't the size and shape of the clothes. The issue is the sexualization of young women, the fact that their worth is measured this way, the portrayal of women in the media, porn and how information is now shared.

I think women's rights are going backwards and young women will bear the brunt of this.

People didn't agree with you so you're flouncing off. Haha! You sound like one of those women that call teenage girls 'little slags'.

People probably thought the same of me when I was that age with all the make up I'd slap on

Yanbu. Yes teenagers have always tried the shock factor but when i was 14 I didn't have an online profile that could be seen by millions.

My 14 year old nieces insta and Facebook pages are pretty shocking but her mum doesn't care
My 12 year old DD thinks she looks " gross" so I'm hoping she won't go the same way ( and I wouldn't allow it anyway)

I don't get it. The photo might be seen by a lot of people. So what?

YANBU

YANBU. I have a pre-teen niece and her instagram makes my skin crawl. It's not so much the teenage rebellion, but as MrsTerry says, the pornification of it all, the value placed on appearance, the poses some well underage girls pull without really knowing what it is they're mimicking. I find it really uncomfortable, not so much the make-up, because God knows I used to trowel it on myself, but the knowingness without really knowing, combined with the risk of 'new follower Josh, Y8', actually being 'Steve, 43, hairy hands'.

I think the bigger problem is adult women dressing and wearing make up like teenagers. If women would start wearing scarves and mac as soon as they were married in their 20s, there wouldn't be this confusion with sexuaised teen clothes, as any fecund woman would be appropriately covered..

I always suspect when I see posts like this on MN that the OP doesn't have children of the age they are commenting on.

At the risk of sounding a bit been there, done it, there is very little that would shock me now mine are early 20s.

Or maybe there is .... just discovered how prevalent and ACCEPTABLE and easily acceible drugs are at uni. How even the nursing students snort cocaine at pres and how many students do it.

Maybe in five years time that won't shock me either?

All you can do is give them the facts and support them in staying on the straight and narrow.

I think some nails have been firmly hit on the head. It's not that 'they or we' dress/dressed in these ways, it's that its way more public and we are also far more aware of the predilections/perversions of those inclined to view it as anything other than kids experimenting. (Trying to be delicate!)

The thought of ANY individual having unnatural thoughts about my kids makes my insides burn. Therefore we (generalised we) wish to prevent giving the opportunity to those..........bastards.

MrsDelta, given how many paedophiles like school uniform, should we also prevent girls from owing in that?

posing in that

I think though as a parent of teens it's a difficult line to tread. Because if the mum had said "how dare you take that picture and put it on fb, do you realise who may see it......" there's a good chance the child will refuse to put it down, or put it down, block dm and re-put it up.

Now neither of my dd do dress like that or take selfies (one wears jeans and t-shirt, other is leggings and long top) but I don't think it is easy as just saying "don't do it".

Quite frankly, it's a vile swimsuit. I think you're always going to get teenage girls who dress more alternative or conservative, and those who are happy to show off their tits and arse for all of year 10 to discuss.

14 seems very young to understand the implications of posting a picture like that. I know teenagers always dressed to shock (although the concept of a teenager is fairly modern) It just seemed more transient when I was young with a much smaller audience.

I don't agree with the photos being public but I'd say the same if she had on a sporty swimming costume. Just because a paedophile is likely to be happy to get hold of it.

Otherwise yabu. Teen girls or any other female don't encourage sexual predators by what they wear or do. My dd is currently into short shorts or tight jeans and midriff tops, or oversize tops worn as mini dresses. Complete with heavy eye makeup. And is 5'9 at 13. And I couldn't give a fuck whether your dh approves. Dressed appropriately ffs.

Why not share your photos with her and her friends and they can critique your style choices?

What are the implications of posting that picture grasspigeons?

I blush when I remember the mini skirts I wore in the 60s. If I moved you coould see my knickers! It is what teenagers do, I'm as frumpy as hell now she will be one day.

YABU.

It's the job of teenagers to shock their parents. I remember being 15 and having screaming matches with my mum because I wanted to go out dressed like Madonna in the Vogue video and she was having none of it.

I'm sure I wore some completely ill advised clothes as a teenager but the short shorts trend is one that bugs me. I just don't need to see that much lower arse cheek in my daily life.

Presumably the racy swimsuit is going to be worn in a public place, like a pool or a beach, where the real life perverts can get up close & personal with the arms-length-away kid wearing the racy swimsuit?

Surely that's more important than any image online. Just a thought.