Toddzilla Thread 2 - No Toddlers at the hen do please!

[whyhastherumgone]

Second thread set up as demanded by the Mumsnet hen do menagerie :)

Original thread here:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2998359-AIBU-You-dont-bring-a-toddler-to-a-hen-do?

Quick summary:
Organising friend's hen do. All booked and paid for, sorted. Two weeks prior a friend attending, hereby known as Demanding Woman, tells me she will be bringing her toddler and DP along as toddler has tantrums that DP can't handle and won't sleep without her there. She will also require a private room now in the converted barn we are staying in, despite everyone agreeing to share etc.

A whatsapp exchange ensues with myself declaring that no this will no be happening and Demanding Woman getting very shirty. Demanding Woman takes it to bride who also shuts it down. So far Demanding Woman is still attending hen do in less than two weeks but is now trying to take control of hen do in terms of games/food/drink etc.

We now have a whole minibus of Mumsnetters, Toddlers, Toddler-eating-dogs, Elephants, hamsters, moody teenagers all planning to attend with boxes of popcorn to take over barn and avidly watch my first meeting with Demanding Woman which I'm definitely not completely and utterly dreading

I'm not sure I will have any further updates for a bit but I promise if there are any further mad details to be had, you will be the first to know.

As you were, Mumsnetters.

MaxwellDog wants to know if there's a dress code....

Fenella Penis collars?

Yes @fenellamaxwellspony penis collar and penis deely-bopper style headband please if you would like to gain admittance.

It's going to be a long two weeks.

@whyhastherumgone We now have a whole minibus...

Erm, have you done a headcount recently? It's more like one of those Hajj pilgrimage flights...

my DDog insists that she must be the centre of attention and everyone must pay constant attention to her. She will ignore all dress codes and will interrupt the games and make them dog friendly. She insists on being called princess boss at all times.

What have I missed???

Just going to wait here... DD (not actual pet but pet-like) and I are packed and ready!

You need a bigger minibus unless its a Tardis

Oscar would love to come, but only if there is ice cream.

I'm assuming someone is making my flight arrangements from Turkey?
First class only though....obvs

oh yes princess boss and I need first class flights from Australia. Not too much to ask is it?

I hadn't realised you've never met DW!! Wowsers, best of luck OP.

PS my large breed dog and I will also be attending- I'm due to give birth around then so I expect everyone else to stay sober in case I need taking to hospital and my dog says whilst he can't drive me to hospital he will also stay sober out of solidarity and is willing to stand in if the male strippers I've booked on your behalf fail to show.

I joined MN just for this! I can't wait to hear all about the weekend.
Also, props to whoever wrote 'I'm on a liquid diet, but will eat a chocolate willy.' I roared

Can I book a seat?
My DCs & DH won't want to come but I'll bring them anyway.

One of the funniest bits for me, when I read the OP, was the meal time to be changed to suit the toddler. Don't ask me why, I know the whole thing is batsh1t on the part of Toddzilla, but that just cracked me up.

Whyhastherumgone.
Please reserve me a seat on the bus. I'm bringing the child catcher to round up all the kids that have managed to sneak on.
Can I bring my giraffe please? He will fit on the bus if we have the sunroof open for his head to poke through. He can keep the elephant company.
Many thanks.

My other cat also wants to come. He will sulk if he can't. He is very good at sulking

This is him.

I don't like Hen Do's so won't be coming but my 8 year old son would love it
He prefers pancakes for breakfast and gets grumpy if kept awake after 9 but as long as you have Marvel Avengers on a loop on TV and don't talk over it he should be ok.

Sorry, I thought pic hadn't posted. Both my cats will only eat scallops with pea purée and black pudding (They're big Masterchef fans).

I know people have said this to you already OP, but she is deffo planning to make the games et al as child friendly as possible in preparation for some stealth toddler bombing. Just so you know.

OP you missed the part where DW also informed the bride that she was expecting to bring said toddler to the CHILD FREE wedding as the ruled don't apply to her

I don't want to come, but I might change my mind and therefore demand that an entire room is kept for me, and me alone. Nobody is to set foot in my room.

We're packed and ready for the off. DS2 is going through a batshit cute food phase, so please ensure that all food served begins with the letter 'A'. I've got a bunion so the chiropodist will be there on the Saturday at 1pm. He's 63 and rather portly but could probs be persuaded to take his shirt off although he may draw the line at being oiled up. I'll ask. DC's have a strict 7:30pm bedtime so I must insist on silence and darkness from 7:29pm. Think that's it - wooooo - can't wait!