Toddzilla Thread 2 - No Toddlers at the hen do please!

[whyhastherumgone]

Second thread set up as demanded by the Mumsnet hen do menagerie :)

Original thread here:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2998359-AIBU-You-dont-bring-a-toddler-to-a-hen-do?

Quick summary:
Organising friend's hen do. All booked and paid for, sorted. Two weeks prior a friend attending, hereby known as Demanding Woman, tells me she will be bringing her toddler and DP along as toddler has tantrums that DP can't handle and won't sleep without her there. She will also require a private room now in the converted barn we are staying in, despite everyone agreeing to share etc.

A whatsapp exchange ensues with myself declaring that no this will no be happening and Demanding Woman getting very shirty. Demanding Woman takes it to bride who also shuts it down. So far Demanding Woman is still attending hen do in less than two weeks but is now trying to take control of hen do in terms of games/food/drink etc.

We now have a whole minibus of Mumsnetters, Toddlers, Toddler-eating-dogs, Elephants, hamsters, moody teenagers all planning to attend with boxes of popcorn to take over barn and avidly watch my first meeting with Demanding Woman which I'm definitely not completely and utterly dreading

I'm not sure I will have any further updates for a bit but I promise if there are any further mad details to be had, you will be the first to know.

As you were, Mumsnetters.

Oohhhh another thread

Can I come just as you know a regular guest? Never been to a hen party...

Well i was fully intending to attend this swanky function and as a special treat to you all, bring lots of ginger ale and was quite prepared to give you all a 2 day crash course in knitting and crocheting.... much more sosphisticated than silly party games and a life skill.
However i am quite dismayed to have still not received my gold embossed invitation in the post so i am retracting my offer and will stay at home thinking of you all having a quite miserable time without me

P.s was even going to hire a goat..... i know you lot love your goats

OP, you haven't actually got back to me to confirm that you'll cater for my many and varied dietary requirements. I dislike certain foods so much that I'm sure it classes as a allergy so I know you'll take it seriously that I must avoid dairy, cereals, eggs, plant based foods, oily fish, but, gm foods, and all sugars. Oh, and obviously I'm vegan.
Anyone consuming any of the above in the barn will be a real trigger for me.

*but = nuts!

I forgot to mention on the first thread that the choc fountain has to be at least 80% dark swiss choc, as DD2 is lactose intolerant, and will be doubled up with stomach cramps, toxic farts and vomiting all weekend otherwise. Also can we please ban all olives from the party, as DTDs hate olives. Oh, and I hate eggs - just the smell of them makes me sick, so no eggs anywhere all weekend please. Cheers .

@DancesWithOtters, she's actually a rhode rock but it's hard to tell in that photo. She's an absolute angel though, lives for a cuddle and is always sneaking into the living room. Her name is Margot.

I reckon the bride will have a fantastic hen do, with all those wonderful animals. Have you shown her this thread op?

Can you not drug her at the beginning of the weekend?
Nothing too henious, just enough so that she's out of it for the entirety of the hen do

I loved my hen weekend so will be popping along for my hen night part 2. I'm sure the bride won't mind.

My DS is 11 months, teething and super cute so of course I'll bring him as everyone will find him super entertaining! I would like the largest bedroom and I don't like sharing bathrooms so please ensure there is one for my personal use

I will be bringing my tropical fish, so please make sure their tank has been set up and cycled for at least six weeks and is up to the correct temperature for when we arrive. Also, my three cats are extremely clingy so I shall be bringing them too. They're all on special diets at the moment and can clear the room with one of their farts, but that won't be an issue will it?

Just caught up with this, the woman is nuts!

However myself, DH, our 5DC (all under 10) our ddog and new puppy oh and the cat and 2 rabbits would all love to come, so you know if we could have the barn you can all camp in the garden?

Seriously though, I've had to say no to so many things even though DH is very good with the DC. I would never have dreamt of taking any of the dc along to anything that wasn't a child oriented event. My DD was (still is actually despite being 5 ) a complete pita, couldn't leave her with anyone, was a very poorly baby and she throws the worst tantrums. I missed my best friends hen do as my DD needed me and was just turned 1, my friend understood because she's my friend.

I've decided I would like to come. As of today I've decided to be a Breatharian and live purely on fresh air, so I will be totally offended if you have any food in the house at all or go out for any meals.

quite prepared to give you all a 2 day crash course in knitting and crocheting

Can we make these?

SlatternDog is coming over on ferry to help with CFN boarder patrol (being from NI he is an expert on boarders 😉) so will happily swing by for a party. He will require accommodation for at least 2 nights and tennis ball throwing for at least 4 hours per day. He will also lick anybody he get his tongue near but he does have an aversion to the male of the species so no DHs allowed.

I'm in, am bringing my batshit crazy DD who is 5 and actually does shit glitter (this I know and can never unsee).
Would bring my cats (another) Bella and Barney but they hate people.
Happy to share a room but feel I should mention my snoring. I don't have an issue with it but apparently others do 😂.
To make up for the said snoring, I am very witty, can make an inuendo out of pretty much anything, have a filthy mind and a jolly good belly laugh (and belly to match) you won't be bored with me around.

I never had a hen party, my 4th anniversary is tomorrow and my 10 year old daughter loves a party, so we'll all be welcome, right? Oh, and of course we wouldn't want to have my pets left out so scatty 1yr old female cat, 16 yr old 3 legged senior male cat and a baby white budgie will fit right in, I'm sure!

Mazzystarlett What is it with cats and farts? Deadly at 100 paces, I swear!

Can't wait for the update. Shamelessly hoping DW causes some further drama before the weekend...!

Shamelessly commenting so I get notified of further comments.

I'm not bringing any kids or pets, but I must warn you I don't get out much... so might need someone to hold my hair back/clean up after me because I'll probably get so pissed I vomit.

@DancesWithOtters, Shelly the Sussex Star (white one) is the real lap hen. I think she honestly believes she's a cat who just happened to lay eggs.
I love when they come running up, such funny creatures! You should bring yours to the hen do too

I'm bringing a flatulent French bulldog, he is gluten free and requires his own bed / human to sleep fart on at all times. He does t like any other living creatures so all the other pets will have to be locked way - thanks!

MrsC2009, it's ok as will happily hold your hair back as long as you had a good time and will carry on merrily drinking whilst showing everyone how to put a condom on a banana, toddlers included.

DD now says she doesn't want to come.