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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends expecting me to look after kids, 6 week holidays.

999 replies

famtastic · 03/07/2017 08:44

I have just found out from another friend, that a couple I'm friendly with who live round the corner told her that I am having their children for them in the summer holidays. It would be 3/4 days a week 6:30am till 10:30am. So in theory we would still have the day after 10:30 to do what we want.

But I have not actually been asked by them! Or had days times mentioned to me. Literally all that was said to me back in may was "we may need the odd favour in the holidays" and I just said oh ok! They didn't elaborate on the favour and I was in the playground taking my kids to school so a bit distracted and didn't ask.

I was looking forward to the summer holidays with my own 2 children ages 3 and 8, lazy mornings and doing what we want, now I feel sick! There is only 2 weeks left and they still haven't mentioned it to me! And surely they can't get anything else sorted now?! Also my husband works 10/11 hours a day and he leaves at 6:50am he won't want anyone round while he's getting ready for a long day at work! And lastly I don't even know their oldest I've met him once for maximum 1minute, their kids are different ages to my two so I can't see how it's going to work well.

Ahh I don't want to do this but I don't know what to do! Am I being unreasonable??

OP posts:
supersop60 · 03/07/2017 16:40

They haven't asked you yet, so have your'"no" ready.
It is not your problem that they haven't arranged childcare.

If you felt like it, you could always charge them per hour per child
eg "Yes of course, my rates are £xx, and I'd prefer cash, thanks"

PoorYorick · 03/07/2017 16:40

Where do you find these people?!

mikeyssister · 03/07/2017 16:40

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Purplefrogshoes · 03/07/2017 16:40

Shock what makes this woman think your responsible for her childcare issues?

Also who on earth gets a baby sitter for a 14 year old?

famtastic · 03/07/2017 16:40

Lol gosh this is so unlike me, she will not know what's got into me! Hope I have this much courage in person! Although I'm getting really pissed off so I'm sure I will!

OP posts:
DAMNgina · 03/07/2017 16:41

No I'm not doing the Monday,

Sorry OP, misunderstood.

Very impressed that you've stood up for yourself, I know from experience how astonishing these types are, they don't listen to any reason as they are not reasonable people.

They get away with it by railroading people who are too gobsmacked to react in time.

There's no compromise, it's all or nothing.

I'm so glad she's getting nothing.

You've dodged eight years of this + saved yourself countless bottles of wine.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 03/07/2017 16:41

Seriously though please do not feel guilty. Being a SAHM does not mean neighbours can dump their teenagers on you. If you rely on family or friends for childcare you have to have a backup plan and she hasn't done that. Not your problem!

famtastic · 03/07/2017 16:41

Haha mumsnet front garden brawl

OP posts:
putdownyourphone · 03/07/2017 16:42

Why the hell cant her kids stay at home alone. I didn't have any childcare as soon as I went to secondary school. 13 is old enough to entertain yourself for a few hours a day.

WineAndTiramisu · 03/07/2017 16:42

It's a good thing you've stood up to her now, otherwise it would be years of this crap, let DH talk to her if she comes round, he'll tell her where to go!

Roughlyroughrough · 03/07/2017 16:42

The absolute fucking cheek of this woman! Well done OP for telling her to do one.

PoisonousSmurf · 03/07/2017 16:42

They are unbelievably cheeky! DO NOT DO IT! Not even ONE day. They will dump the kids on you and bugger off for two weeks and you'll end up having them day and night.
Watch out, they sound like the type to do this.

Mulledwine1 · 03/07/2017 16:42

Do you not think it's selfish of you not to give a bit of your free time up! Il come round later and sort it out as I have to get back to my WORK

I know the thread has moved on since you posted this but !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No words.

I would seriously just ignore and block her.

More !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DAMNgina · 03/07/2017 16:43

this is so unlike me, she will not know what's got into me

It IS like you! Just cos you've got anxiety doesn't mean you're not strong.

You are fierce - your responses have proved that.

So I guess you do have something to thank her for after all.

Hortonlovesahoo · 03/07/2017 16:43

Well done for sticking up for yourself OP.

I'm astounded that someone could be this rude!

rinabean · 03/07/2017 16:43

Yes!! Nice work OP! Proud of you, I'm sure it wasn't easy to be so direct and to clearly blame her so well done

It will be easier next time now you've done it once :) But let's hope there isn't a next time!

PoisonousSmurf · 03/07/2017 16:44

(Note to self) - read the whole thread! But yes, a teenager should be OK as long as it's not overnight.

Maverick66 · 03/07/2017 16:44

Ratbag has it! Just send text along those lines.
Why should you undertake to do this in you and your children's holiday time?

Mia1415 · 03/07/2017 16:44

Well done OP! This woman is literally unbelievable. I don't think I've ever been more shocked at a MN thread.

MsSusanStoHelit · 03/07/2017 16:44

Well done OP, and try to squash that stupid residual guilt monster. I know you know it's lying but it really is.

I wonder what her all important WOOOORRRRRKKK is? Bet it's something appallingly dull.

Rockspin · 03/07/2017 16:44

Blimey OP, she really really needs bringing down a peg or two, I still can't fathom how people can be this rude and entitled?!

Stay strong and no backing down now!

dustarr73 · 03/07/2017 16:45

Get her some Brillo for that brass neck.Jesus at least you found out now and it's sorted.Better than worrying for the next 2 weeks.

BMW6 · 03/07/2017 16:46

OP please send her a link to this thread

livefornaps · 03/07/2017 16:46

I want more updates... more....been following...all day....

paxillin · 03/07/2017 16:46

This is going to be the start of a much easier life for you. You will remember Mrs Pisstake every time you come across another pisstaker. You will always remember it isn't free to feed pisstakers, you take it from your own resources, your DH's and your DC's resources. And then you won't do it.