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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends expecting me to look after kids, 6 week holidays.

999 replies

famtastic · 03/07/2017 08:44

I have just found out from another friend, that a couple I'm friendly with who live round the corner told her that I am having their children for them in the summer holidays. It would be 3/4 days a week 6:30am till 10:30am. So in theory we would still have the day after 10:30 to do what we want.

But I have not actually been asked by them! Or had days times mentioned to me. Literally all that was said to me back in may was "we may need the odd favour in the holidays" and I just said oh ok! They didn't elaborate on the favour and I was in the playground taking my kids to school so a bit distracted and didn't ask.

I was looking forward to the summer holidays with my own 2 children ages 3 and 8, lazy mornings and doing what we want, now I feel sick! There is only 2 weeks left and they still haven't mentioned it to me! And surely they can't get anything else sorted now?! Also my husband works 10/11 hours a day and he leaves at 6:50am he won't want anyone round while he's getting ready for a long day at work! And lastly I don't even know their oldest I've met him once for maximum 1minute, their kids are different ages to my two so I can't see how it's going to work well.

Ahh I don't want to do this but I don't know what to do! Am I being unreasonable??

OP posts:
Hissy · 03/07/2017 16:32

I work, an a lone parent and on a low wage

It costs me a fucking fortune to cover my ds holiday, I would never ever assume anyone else would have to take care of my child.

A favour is a favour, its something that is returned. Sounds like this silly woman is a one way street

Tempting as it is to as "sort what out? There is literally nothing to sort out. I'm not doing ANY childcare for you, now or in the future" I wouldn't text back anymore, it would be pointless

ApocalypseNowt · 03/07/2017 16:32

OP is not doing the monday!

She has cancelled the cheque.

BluePencils · 03/07/2017 16:32

She is unbelievably cheeky, and very rude. Tell her no, and no to the Monday.

TwinklePops · 03/07/2017 16:32

I really can't believe that she's not understanding this or "choosing not to listen" to you! Whats not to get?! She sounds like a very odd individual?! It's almost like she's convinced herself that these arrangements were made?!! 😂 So bizarre!!

HuckfromScandal · 03/07/2017 16:34

Gobsmacked

SylviaPoe · 03/07/2017 16:35

Well done OP.

Flowers
livefornaps · 03/07/2017 16:35

Yes but she's waiting for the other woman to reply to announce she's not doing it/her husband is going to say so.

Just say now - don't drag it out

Bigbiscuits · 03/07/2017 16:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Marushka82 · 03/07/2017 16:35

Waiting for updates with bated breath!
The cheek of this woman is unbelievable!!!

Namechangetempissue · 03/07/2017 16:35

I still think you just block her. Don't get into an arguement, don't go back and forth saying no constantly. You have said you are not doing it, end of. She was rude, so block her and be done with it. If she turns up, don't answer the door or get your DH to tell her to piss off.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 03/07/2017 16:35

Did she put WORK in capitals OP?? If so she is having a dig at you about being a SAHM.

Say you are at your work when she needs childcare, but it's fine as next time you need a babysitter you'll drop your kids off at her office

mistlethrush · 03/07/2017 16:36

The 'odd favour' can't be classed as 7 hours of child minding which is what she is / was expecting JUST FOR THE MONDAY let alone any other day!

Clearly she thinks you're rolling in it as you can 'afford' to not work!!!! (I know you have chosen to do this for your son's sake).

Stick to your guns and prepare for the moaning!

famtastic · 03/07/2017 16:36

Ok I sent this, I'm def not doing the Monday.

Also I won't be available on the Monday now. This has all got very out of hand, and I'm uncomfortable with you assuming I am free for childcare, and getting angry that I can't do it. I need to put my children fist it's their summer too.

OP posts:
AcrossthePond55 · 03/07/2017 16:37

There is no way you can do the Monday peaceably now, is there? I can't see her just bringing her kids by and politely dropping them off. No, she'll bully and make comments and try to guilt you into more days right in front of her children (Oh, it's too bad Mrs fam doesn't want you here. Isn't it 'nice' of Mrs fan to have you when she doesn't want to, etc etc).

I'd message "In light of the situation I think it better that you make other arrangements for Monday since you are making them for the rest of the Summer. I no longer feel it's appropriate for me to watch your children".

I know one of her children is 13 or 14? DS1 was staying home alone by that time during the summer. By 15 he was watching his brother (aged 9). They did fine. Albeit my parents were nearby and DH and I both had jobs where we could leave at the drop of a hat if need arose.

Apairofsparklingeyes · 03/07/2017 16:37

Does this woman work as a doctor's receptionist? I can't imagine many jobs where her level of rudeness and entitlement would go down well.

TheCakeCrusader · 03/07/2017 16:37

Don't bother to continue engaging with her- otherwise, she will keep on insisting that you are going to be minding her kids whilst bad mouthing you at the same time!

Say no and block.

HopefulHamster · 03/07/2017 16:37

Good reply, OP!

famtastic · 03/07/2017 16:37

Yes work in capitals! I think it was a did too. She is like that even when not cross.

OP posts:
Msqueen33 · 03/07/2017 16:37

What an entitled, arrogant cow! Honestly. I would do someone the odd favour but this is childcare. Especially since you have a child with asd. I have two and they wouldn't particularly want people hanging out on the sofa in their house.

I can't believe there's such thick skinned people about.

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 03/07/2017 16:38

Well done OP!

livefornaps · 03/07/2017 16:38

Yesssss, OP!!!!!!! POW POW POW POW POW!!!! well done Flowers

justilou · 03/07/2017 16:38

You forgot to mention that she has been abusive as well.

livefornaps · 03/07/2017 16:39

Fist pumping with joy

justilou · 03/07/2017 16:39

Good for you for telling her to stick it

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 03/07/2017 16:40

OP if this ends up as fisticuffs on your front lawn please don't forget to ask your DH to film it for our viewing pleasure Wink

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