Friends expecting me to look after kids, 6 week holidays.

[famtastic]

I have just found out from another friend, that a couple I'm friendly with who live round the corner told her that I am having their children for them in the summer holidays. It would be 3/4 days a week 6:30am till 10:30am. So in theory we would still have the day after 10:30 to do what we want.

But I have not actually been asked by them! Or had days times mentioned to me. Literally all that was said to me back in may was "we may need the odd favour in the holidays" and I just said oh ok! They didn't elaborate on the favour and I was in the playground taking my kids to school so a bit distracted and didn't ask.

I was looking forward to the summer holidays with my own 2 children ages 3 and 8, lazy mornings and doing what we want, now I feel sick! There is only 2 weeks left and they still haven't mentioned it to me! And surely they can't get anything else sorted now?! Also my husband works 10/11 hours a day and he leaves at 6:50am he won't want anyone round while he's getting ready for a long day at work! And lastly I don't even know their oldest I've met him once for maximum 1minute, their kids are different ages to my two so I can't see how it's going to work well.

Ahh I don't want to do this but I don't know what to do! Am I being unreasonable??

Names new thread workzilla but no idea how to link it

WORKyticket

Amazing! Some people...

With a bit of luck she'll be a MNer and recognise for herself what a priviledged, arrogant wotsit she is.
It beggars belief that anyone can be so presumptive; what has she done for preceding school holidays?

🍌 's block and delete her OP .i wouldn't even answer the door when she comes a calling .

And even if you were having them I would be very clear that they would not be sitting on the sofa all day - oh no full on boot camp - out of the house playing with 3yr old . Stick to your guns and enjoy your summer.

You rock Famtastic!

Link to follow up thread

WORKzilla

Hell is other people's children.

Here's how it works in this house. My daughter works as a supply teacher and can work up to 5 days a week, or none. Sometimes it's at short notice but even when she is asked at short notice, she always asks me if it's ok to have her LO before she confirms she can work. (Mind you, she knows I'll always do it cos I love him, he's good as gold and I've looked after him on odd days regularly since he was born. She probably says she'll do it before she checks with me but hey, it's no problem!) He's at nursery 2 days a week, I work those days anyway so all good. However, she doesn't take the piss!
Other friends of mine have, on occasions, asked me to look after their children/grandchildren in emergencies, or pick them up from nursery or school. I've looked after kiddies for some of the people from work when their child minding arrangements have fallen through. BUT and it's a big but, no-one assumes that I'll do it just because I only work 2 afternoons a week. I have often been given flowers and chocolates by people to say thanks, although I never expect it and wouldn't worry too much if they didn't. I'm just happy to help, because we've all been there.
I wonder if my daughter will be pestered for child minding over the summer holidays, as she won't be working at school? I'll keep you posted!

If she is being difficult and trying to pressure and force you just don't answer her calls any more and don't answer the door to her. She will eventually get the message. I really don't think you should even the do the Monday the way she is behaving!

I'd tackle this now, rather than wait and worry. A light hearted " hi pisstaking friend, I heard on the grapevine that we're looking after your kids every morning in the holidays? I'm sure this is a mix up but just needed to double check.... We're not even up ourselves at that time so wouldn't be able to help. Anyway I'm sure you've got the issue sorted by now.....

I've never been so happy for DH to walk through the door, he can do bath time and I can keep up with this thread

I'd have them come for sure, then I would put them to work. 6.30-10.30 is prime time for them to clean the house and feed your kids whilst you go back to sleep.

Why did she say that it was until 2pm, when her husband gets back at 10.30? Is that so that he can have a nap?

"Let down" how? You didn't commit to anything for her to be let down! She's made assumptions. She's the fool.

Sorry, responded before I saw this had gone onto a second page! Ignore me.

At least you are forewarned. It's a strange time to need childcare for. What happens at 10.30? I would arrange things for the first few occasions so you have an excuse lined up then you can say you hadn't agreed to anything.

"I'm finding this very upsetting. I thought I was doing a favour for a friend, I moved a visit to my Mum back by a day so that I could do that Monday for you. And in return I've received abuse and emotional blackmail. Friends don't do that. My husband is very angry about this, and wants me not to help you out even on the day that we have agreed, but I don't want your children to be upset so I will take them that day."

That's masterful.

I'm so glad you've put your foot down. She's throwing a tantrum like a thwarted 3yo. I imagine your DH is quite experienced in such matters. Lightly raised eyebrow, broken record message in a bored voice.

Catch them at the school gates:
"Hi I know you/other half (depending on who you're speaking to) asked if I could have the kids on the first Monday of the holidays but that's not going to be possible now I'm afraid. I just wanted to let you know now so you had time to make other arrangements for them."
If they bring up other days just say
"Well we're pretty booked up the whole holidays to be honest so can't really commit to anything right now "

Obviously missed the best bit so back pedalling now to find it. DOH

It might ask you to cover it's unexpected childcare costs. I can't believe I've actually had that as a thought, but judging by it's texts, I wouldn't put it past it to expect you to pay.

There is a new thread...