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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think a three year old should be potty trained?

140 replies

WeLoveTheMoon · 27/05/2017 17:09

My (nearly) 3 year old wont use a potty! She sits on it but wont do anything. Shes also telling me when she needs her nappy changed!!
Iv made a big deal about big girl nicks, sticker charts! Everything
Anyway me and dh have had a huge fight over it as he thinks she is to young.

Aibu to think we should be potty training now?

OP posts:

Gizlotsmum · 27/05/2017 17:10

My two weren't ready at three...

MerchantofVenice · 27/05/2017 17:12

Hard to do, but try not to obsess about it! I don't think it's unusual. It might be that she's not quite ready. If you give it a couple of weeks things might click.

If she's not yet three you have nothing to worry about.

viagrafalls · 27/05/2017 17:12

I wouldn't push it if she doesn't want to. My DD was adamant she didnt want to do it, despite me knowing she was physically ready, she most certainly was not mentally ready and we are still feeling the effects almost 4 years later.

TeenAndTween · 27/05/2017 17:12

She needs the required sensations and the required control and the communication. It maybe she doesn't have all 3 yet.

How long have you been trying for, and have you done all the necessary pre-steps?

CaptainBrickbeard · 27/05/2017 17:12

My 3yo is very resistant. My older child was easy and quick to potty train. I do feel very conscious that he should be by now but we just haven't been successful whatever tactic we try. He is a very...um...strong-willed child! So I have no advice but following with interest for anyone who does!

Original poster

WeLoveTheMoon · 27/05/2017 17:13

I just think shes telling me she needs changing and even waking up dry over night. Shes sitting on the potty and telling me shes having wees or poos

Maybe she isnt ready.

OP posts:

MrsHathaway · 27/05/2017 17:13

If she isn't ready then you risk giving her a complex over it.

Put the potty in the bathroom and encourage her to sit on it when her nappy comes off for a bath. Let her see you use the loo. She'll get there.

Fwiw our paed didn't think it was an issue at 3.2 and we were only advised to start thinking about it at 3.6 (by hv) with a view to being dry by 4.

natwebb79 · 27/05/2017 17:13

My oldest wasn't ready until 3.5 years old but he got it straight away when we did go for it. My youngest is 3 in August and, although he wants to be toilet trained, he's really not ready and kund of treats it as a gsme so we'll wait a little longer with him too. No rush.

Outbackshack · 27/05/2017 17:13

Mine started at 3 and a half years. I was worried about leaving it late but had tried sooner and was getting nowhere.

AppleMagic · 27/05/2017 17:15

I went cold turkey on daytime nappies with my dd at about 2.5. She had daily accidents until about 3.5 when it clicked. With ds I waited until he was about 3.5 and he got it in a week. So I don't think there is any advantage to starting before they are ready.

Original poster

WeLoveTheMoon · 27/05/2017 17:17

Maybe she is to small she is showing so many signs she is ready tho.
Thank you all for responding by the way. We have only been trying for 2 weeks

OP posts:

MrsWhirly · 27/05/2017 17:17

My daughter was 3. My son more like 3 1/2. Don't force it x

BusterGonad · 27/05/2017 17:18

My son was only just out of nappys at school, it was such hard work and he really wasn't ready, he was dry at night for another year. Even now at 7 he sometimes wets the bed and always leaks a bit in his pj's. he's a clever boy but just struggles with certain things. I had loads of snide comments aimed at him in a nappy at his age which was upsetting but you cannot force a child to use a toilet or a potty, I certainly felt like a crap mum but I had to go at his pace.

BusterGonad · 27/05/2017 17:19

^i mean before he started school NOT at school.

AtticusCactus · 27/05/2017 17:20

Just leave the potty in the bathroom in the corner. She knows what it's for but she's obviously not interested at this stage. She may never want to use a potty and go straight on to the toilet. Who knows? Fairplay, she's not even 3 yet.
If the child isn't ready to use the potty or toilet, there's no amount of stickers or pretty knickers that's going to change that.
She'll get there in her own time.

windmillasaurus · 27/05/2017 17:21

I tried potty training with my eldest at about 2.5 but he just wasn't ready so we left till he was almost three. He showed some interest that time but wasn't fully reliable and I didn't want to be cleaning dirty pants all the time so we held off again until he was about 3.5 and he got it in a matter of days, dry over night everything. No point starting early and going through months of toilet training in my opinion. Wait a little longer and have an easier time of it.

Original poster

WeLoveTheMoon · 27/05/2017 17:22

Iv not been forcing it.
I took her the shop and let her pick her own big girl nicks. She was very happy picking all her favourite character's, I have had the potty in the bathroom with me so when iv been going the toilet id take her with me and she would use her own toilet happily as I also let her pick her own potty (its a duck her favourite animals) But wont do anything. She then runs off and has a wee or poo and tells me she has. I dont make a big deal I just ask her if she wants another pair of big girl pants on or a nappy. Sometimes she asks for the nappy and other times her big girl nicks

OP posts:

EC22 · 27/05/2017 17:22

Two weeks is no time at all, be patient, its training and training takes time. I do think the majority of children are capable of being dry during the day at 3 but it takes time effort and patience.

brasty · 27/05/2017 17:25

She is clearly physically ready, but does not want to do it. Either leave and do another time, or use lots of rewards such as chocolate buttons.

Original poster

WeLoveTheMoon · 27/05/2017 17:25

Thanks again ill leave it another six month and try again. I guess iv just obsessed about it and not realised. Thanks again

OP posts:

MoonriseKingdom · 27/05/2017 17:26

Am pleased to read this thread. My 2 year 8 month old just doesn't seem ready yet although several of her similar age friends are dry in the daytime. My MIL seems determined to get her to do it which usually ends with wee on her floor. I've had to be firm in telling her not to push it because I can see my DD getting upset.

Gatehouse77 · 27/05/2017 17:28

A friend's daughter was similar with the potty but was absolutely fine using the toilet. You could try skipping the potty and going straight to the toilet.

Original poster

WeLoveTheMoon · 27/05/2017 17:29

MoonriseKingdom

Im the same iv seen so many little ones her age who are trained so maybe thats why I think she should be (she 2years 10 months)
Iv not forced the issue but obviously had no interest so ill try again at a later point

OP posts:

luckylucky24 · 27/05/2017 17:29

Sounds like she is showing signs. I would leave the potty out for her in case she wants to use it and stop pushing it.
Unless she is starting school in September, I wouldn't be worried at all.

Original poster

WeLoveTheMoon · 27/05/2017 17:29

Gatehouse77

She wont sit on the toilet at all bless her she gets really upset

OP posts:

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