To think a three year old should be potty trained?

[WeLoveTheMoon]

My (nearly) 3 year old wont use a potty! She sits on it but wont do anything. Shes also telling me when she needs her nappy changed!!
Iv made a big deal about big girl nicks, sticker charts! Everything
Anyway me and dh have had a huge fight over it as he thinks she is to young.

Aibu to think we should be potty training now?

'It's a combination of lazy parenting and nappies being so good'

Cannot stand this attitude and the competitiveness of children reaching milestones at the earliest possible moment. There might be the odd example of parents missing the boat, but the majority are encouraging their children to listen to and understand their bodies, which is surely the point rather than manipulating them with tv, rewards and sweets for going to the toilet and then crowing about how early they trained

Also, who are all these children aged 2 that don't resist things!

Haha, my 22 month old definitely resists things! However in terms of potty training she's just accepted the new 'norm'. I told her all her nappies have gone and she wees on the potty now. Haven't used any bribes or rewards, she's just proud of herself for doing it.
I'm certainly not competitive about it, I just did a lot of research and decided to give it a go. There's only 19 months between my 2 so I've been changing nappies for 3.5 years solid and I'm ready to stop! And sending less to landfill has got to be a positive.

Maybe she'd prefer the toilet?

I think Many of the kids who train later today, are the kids who would have had ongoing issues like constipation and pelvic floor issues later in life if trained earlier like they used to be. We forced the issue with my oldest child in order to attend what's kindergarten here (3yo) and he was dry in a relatively short time so seemingly no problems but has had many many ongoing issues and has a very poor concept of needing to go, anxiety, avoidance etc. which is becoming more problematic as he gets older.

One potty training book I read said that you can start at two and clean up accidents for a year or start at three and clean up no accidents. This was pretty much my experience except that my ds was a bit over 3

All this stuff is just nonsense. Dd1 is a fussy character. Once she got to 20 months she started refusing to poo because she hated the feeling of it in the nappy. Unfortunately she also refused to sit on a toilet or potty, it was an awful time of withholding. She started sitting on a potty at just past 2 and trained easily.

Dd2 on the other hand nearly sent us all over the edge. She was 'potty trained' at 3 in so far as she could do it and knew what to do, but couldn't be arsed if she was doing something else. This went on until she started school.

And as far as 'it's rare to not be potty trained at 3', lots of school age DC still have accidents. I remember children having accidents when I was at school in the early 80s also.

Children vary.

There are some who get it earlier, some later. They will all get it eventually (with obvious disclaimers re: health complications and disabilities)

Dd1 trained late (ASD). Her nursery thought they knew better than me, and started training her without my permission. They caused unto,d problems, which actually then made training her longer and harder than it needed to be. She was finally dry in the daytime at around 6, but still had issues with holding poo until she was about 10 or so. Those problems also lasted long past training, and it is only now that she can finally go to the toilet fully on her own - she is 13 later this year. Nurseries with rigid rules are a nightmare, and should stop being so controlling, imo and ime.

Dd2 (also ASD) knew what to do, but suffered with anxiety around the whole thing (possibly due to seeing her sisters problems and issues). She was dry in the day by 3.8, but not dry at night (different kettle of fish entirely, as it's hormone led, not 'learning') until she was 8.

Ds (also ASD) was reluctant to train - he is much younger, and like a pp's child, didn't want to stop being a baby. He also trained late - after3.5, but then just got it, and has literally never had an accident. What clicked for him was wanting to go to school (he is a summer born, so started school soon after his 4th birthday), and I told him he couldn't go to school in pull ups (private school, set their own rules). He resisted for about 3 days after that, then 'decided' all by himself he wanted to wear pants. And has never looked back. He was dry at night at the same time.

Dd is 3.3 and unwilling to potty train. I wonder if she just likes being a baby. She's quite advanced in other ways but has no interest in training.

I'm recovering from a recent operation which means I'm not very mobile, but once I'm better I'm just going to go for it and tell her nappies are gone!

brasty no, it's not a generalization. She quite clearly stated that it was the kids she had seen that she was talking about, not every child ever.

One potty training book I read said that you can start at two and clean up accidents for a year or start at three and clean up no accidents. This was pretty much my experience except that my ds was a bit over 3.

This has not been my experience at all. Mine were trained at 24 months, 26 months and 22 months. We stayed at home for a few days and worked hard to make it fun and they were at an age were they wanted to please us. Definitely prefer this to changing nappies for another year / more.

At my DCs 2.5 year check the other day my HV stated that the average age for potty training is currently 3yrs.

One of mine dry day and night at 2.5 the other dry days near to four and still wets the bed now and then at 7.

It does take a lot of hard work with some kids and not least because I agree nappies are so bloody convenient. If they are reluctant it's easy to just leave them a while longer. I know I did.

I don't think waiting indefinitely is necessarily the best way forward. Like my 7 year old bed wetting at night we got rid of the pj pants and after a few nights there was a marked improvement. And more washing

They do need to feel wet to get the cues.

What worked for my mum with me my sister and my 2 cousins was to sit us on the potty when we where babies and able to hold ourselves up that helped to get us all use to the potty so it made it really easy and fast to potty train us we where all potty trained by 2 and all dry at night by the age of 3. My niece though she's 4 in September she's potty trained but still wears her "special" nicks at night because she sometimes has accidents during the night she has been completely dry during the day since the age of 2.

We started trying at 2.5 with ds and had a go every couple of months after that. At 3 nursery wanted him in pants so we switched and made a full on effort. It still didn't work, he knew he needed to go but couldn't work out how to. So he would sit on the toilet saying he needed a wee, nothing, and wet himself 20 min later. At 3.3 he just got it suddenly, over a couple of days he went from several accidents a day to none at all. Now at 3.7 his last wee accident was about 6 weeks ago. He's sometimes dry at night, sometimes not so we are leaving that a little longer. Poos a little bit more awkward as he doesn't get a lot of notice yet so we have to rush to the toilet to be in time, usually we are but sometimes not!. I honestly believe that he was ready when he was ready and no amount of training made the difference.

It's like trying to train a baby to walk fgs. They do it when they're ready you can't MAKE them.

I read somewhere that some dcs take longer if they are intolerant to dairy though.