Ohfuckohfuckohfuuuuuuck

[SmileEachDay]

One of those massive, massive bastarding black house spiders has moved in to the top corner of my living room.

What the fuck do I do? I can't hoover it because it might...I can't even say it....but fall...you know? I can't just leave it because it gives me THE HORRORS.

😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩

Move.

Burn the house down. There is no other option.

LTB

Kill it with fire.

Move out immediately. Never return. Change your identity in case it finds you again.

Can you put a pint glass over it to contain it until someone else can come and move it for you?

You're going to need to get Elon Musk involved. Nuking it from orbit is the only solution now.

Where are you? I'll shift it humanely for £500. I'll even take it home in my car so you know it's not coming back.

Deal, Brecon

Immobilize with it hairspray then hoover it

Set a fire and run away 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

Shut the door, and wait for someone sensible to come round?

Leave it alone. It's more frightened of you. I can just imagine the fear and terror of the spider that senses a much bigger hunter in the room. I hate the buggers myself but have learnt that they eat fly larvae and keep the insects in your house down.

Have you opened your windows recently? They probably saw an invite and are now trapped. The spider will not harm you.

Long brush. Apply vigorously.
Dispose of body parts of ex-spider.

Ah leave her alone.

Give her a name like say Ada and tell her you are very glad she's here as she will eat all the nasty bugs.

Hope some suggestions here are a joke as some are clearly very very cruel.

She won't hurt you leave her be

I KNOW IT WON'T HURT ME!!

That's the whole thing with irrational fears. They are IRRATIONAL.

So I have to move or stop being scared? 😩😩😩

Oh, woman up.

Knock it down with a broom, then scoop it up with a dustpan and throw it outside.

I've done dozens of these, and I live in Aus where the spiders can actually kill you.

I tried hoovering a massive spider once. It was sat on the coving in my bedroom. It fell off the wall and disappeared*
I had to sleep on the sofa for a week.

I love catching spiders. I channel my inner Steve Irwin RIP and go forth with a transparent pot and 3 sheets of magazine paper.

Dry shampoo freezes them long enough to put it out side.
They look fabulous after

HTH

OMG OP it is plainly obvious what you need to do. Get an even bigger spider in to fight it to the death. I think I may have a spare tarantula lying around, would you like to borrow it?