Ohfuckohfuckohfuuuuuuck

[SmileEachDay]

One of those massive, massive bastarding black house spiders has moved in to the top corner of my living room.

What the fuck do I do? I can't hoover it because it might...I can't even say it....but fall...you know? I can't just leave it because it gives me THE HORRORS.

😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩

My husband always says he knows i will never divorce him for his spider catching abilities alone.
I am properly terrified and so wish i could get over it.
Been trying for 50 yrs and no joy so far !

Let it crawl onto your hand and carry it outside?

just me on that one then

I used to be you op - sympathies, now I could come and get it for you and put it outside (with my bare hands if necessary). Friendly spider programme at London Zoo cured me in one afternoon if you're interested

Bluntness is the only person so far to mention the really scary spider charge. Does anyone know why they do this? Or is it maybe just here in my house?
Yesterday I missed when trying to swat a wasp, and it immediately made a bee-line for me. Are they picking up some fear scent?
Actually, I do prefer to put them outdoors when possible, even the wasps, but having spent 24hours keeping an eye on it and opening the window to allow it to escape, I really didn't want to share my bedroom for another night while it got lost between curtains and linings again.
Smile, I think getting someone to help would be your best option, I always feel guilty after killing them.

Tap the broom n the wall so it feels the vibrations and it will move but not sprnt off or anything. Once you get it to a place where you can put a glass over it with he edges flat on the wall do it and slide a firm piece of cardboard underneath- postcard or something like that which won't move and leave a gap. Take outside and free.

There are two in our shed and they are enormous- really huge. We are unable to go in the shed and are keeping our gardening stuff in the garden at the moment. They are not scared of us. They just sit still, out on a beam or a ledge. One is the size of the top of a mug and very chunky and solid and hairy and black but it is just an ordinary spider-nothing exotic. 🕷🕷

Check out the Friendly Spider Programme at London Zoo. Worked for me, thank God - I was a proper spider phobe. Wasn't just scared when I saw one, I was scared in case I saw one! Couldn't go into garages or sheds - ever! One fell out of my line dried washing - so my fear spread to washing. I grew afraid of curtains for the same reason. Changed my life now - sounds dramatic, but true! My mantra is now Spiders are Safe 😂. Good luck OP!

The other alternative is a cat- they eat them. We have two cats and last year an enormous spider ran out of our bedroom and our cat ate it - I think. She chased it but we did not see the actual consumption. We had to sleep with the door shut and towels jammed in the gap under the door for a month.

When this has happened to me and DP isn't there to do the glass and card thing (he's so brave ) then I have asked my neighbours to remove it for me. They've always been really good about it. Is this something you can do?
I totally feel your fear though! I live in fear of them and always scan a room before I fully settle. To this day if I need a wee at night I keep the light off - just in case and I even gave my brother £5 to remove a bastard big one once when it had taken up residence in my bedroom!
I hope it's still there on your return as you won't relax.

It is the only way.

Chickenagain I did the spider course too!! It literally changed my like! Smaller ones I can have on my hand. Huge ones go in a pot with a bit if card and put out in the garden. It's a new lease of life not being frightened. I am a bit evangelical about it

I've been chased up the garden path by a spider I was trying to release while the Smalls stood at the back door screaming Run Mummy Run!

I do want to do one of those programmes. It's on my list. I'd love to not be scared of them.

topcat you are clearly deranged 🙄

wankingmonkey I so hope you sleep with your mouth closed. Read somewhere ages ago about how many spiders we apparently swallow in our sleep. Perish the bloody thought. Shudder!!

Honestly Smile it was worth it. I also did the one at London zoo. I was massively worried about the cost (I am not wealthy!) but can honestly say so far it's been worth every penny.

Aaaaaaaah, that scared the life out of me.

Ooh is it my Gerald? He disappeared the other week. Send him home!

The pint glass or bowl truck only works if you are prepared to stand there for up to several hours holding it in place trying to keep the shaking and weeping to a minimum until someone comes to take over the second part of the operation (swiftly removing and covering receptacle) for you. If you try and do it yourself you know the multi-legged bastard is going to drop onto your head or hand and devour you and your children.

Trick not truck - though a truck might be useful for a swift getaway in case of spider relocation to somewhere else in the house where you know it's still there but now you can't see it...

myother why would you do that??

Name it and leave it alone. I have a false widow living on the wall in my bedroom. His name is David. I had one in my kitchen for 2 years. She was called camilla. She crossed the rainbow bridge (didn't think she caught much in her web, bless)

I'm glad you're not going to kill it. Hate it when people kill spiders.

I would happily pick it up and take it outside for you if I could. I love a big spider.

Slightly OT, but there was one in my DD's Elsa doll's hair this morning (really tangled up as well so no idea what it was up to), and there was one recently on another barbie's head too like a frickin' grotesque spider crown 😱.

We have lived here almost 5 years and had no big house spiders until the last year and all of a sudden we're seeing them every few weeks.

I get those bastarding skinny spiders that linger in the most stupid places. In the sink is one of them.