Ohfuckohfuckohfuuuuuuck

[SmileEachDay]

One of those massive, massive bastarding black house spiders has moved in to the top corner of my living room.

What the fuck do I do? I can't hoover it because it might...I can't even say it....but fall...you know? I can't just leave it because it gives me THE HORRORS.

😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩

Get yourself a cat, they'll do your dirty work. Caught mine munching on a spider this morning. To be fair I do usually save spiders, wasps and bees from cat but I was too late this morning, bluebottles can get to fuck though.... catfood as far as I'm concerned.

Grow the fuck up

Who says something like that out of nowhere...on a jokey-lighthearted thread about a spider?

Not sure about growing up, but some people need to calm down and keep things in perspective because they go off on people over nothing.

I think we need a pic of this monster

www.primrose.co.uk/spider-catcher-yellow-p-2294.html

We have that one, but if you do it wrong it just flicks the bloody spider in a random direction. Great for the skinny long legged ones but not the big bastards. I don't go in for killing them either, and the other day I did actually manage to catch one under a glass but only because it had its legs all tucked up. As soon as it was under it unleashed its legs and then I had to look at it

These vacuum things seem to work, only the idea fo the spider flying towards me - even inside a tube - freaks me out.

Phone the police? A neighbour? Friend? Drag a stranger in off the street?

Phone a friend

You've asked the audience

😂 Albadross that's exactly what I was thinking.

Please please post a photo

I once called in a compete stranger to remove one for me I spent 20 min hyperventilating and he walks in grabs it in his hands and takes it away. Made me feel a bit pathetic but hey ho. If I were u op I would get it with a broom and dustpan

Go lightly. As you can probably gather from my username. I adore spiders.
I coo at them, hold them ect., However you can tell someone to women up until the cows come home. Op has said she knows it won't hurt her, but. You can't rationalise phobias. eg My dd is terrified of plastic food containers. She obviously knows they're harmless. They creep her the fuck out none the less.

You know those skinny spindly-legged spiders that sit in the corners not moving? Well they're awesome at keeping the gigantic, speedy, evil, scary-as-fuck house spiders at bay.

I let them live in my house with the deal being that as long as they eat the big fuckers and don't move about, I promise not to kill them or Hoover them up.

So far it seems to be working, for the last 2 years I've been doing it I've only seen 2 house spiders.

although one was the biggest fucker that ever lived, appeared in my shower at 2 am, and could only be disposed of with a stick, some bleach and cilit bang whilst I screamed and cried

No immediate help to you now, but my SIL swears by this

www.betterware.co.uk/betta-bug-katcha.html

Close door, use another room. It'll go away in a few hours. Eat cake in the meantime and think of nice things

My fear of spiders is the main reason I am still married
I am generally a very rational person, but spiders in the house scare me. I'm fine with the ones I encounter in the garden but not indoors.

In these situations it's kill or be killed. There is no mid point. If you leave it it will go hide someplace and then crawl out when you're least suspecting it and give you the frights.

I do recall a huge one in a previous house. I sent husband in to deal with it as I peeked through the door. It was enormous and he got the baseball bat out to hit it. He missed being the twat he is and it stopped, looked at him and charged. Never seen anything like it.

He squealed like a child "it's charging at me, it's charging at me". At which point I did the only decent thing and shut him in there with it and legged it. 😂

Oh and a massive cockroach on hols once. In the loo. He went in with a flipper and tried to hit it, who knew cockroaches could fly? Had to shut him in there with that too. 😂

I've left the house.

If it's still there when I get back I'm going to name it, order a spider catcher, drag a hunky stranger in off the street and then nuke my house.

Then I'll woman up

this should help

Wait. Cockroaches can fly? Fuck. I'm emigrating - do they have cockroaches at the North Pole?

Can't believe you've left it! You soooo know it won't be there when you get back. Mwa ha ha haaaa

I stayed at my mothers on Monday and she lives proper in the middle of nowhere but I don't remember seeing any huge spiders when I was living at home (unless they just hid better ) but there was this huge beasty thing above my bed. My mam laughed at me and told me not to be so childish and to just turn off the light then I can't see it anymore.

I STILL KNOW ITS THERE THOUGH!

So, tossed and turned for ages, kept feeling phantom spider legs touching the back of my neck and that but I did manage to fall asleep eventually.

It was not there when I woke. It either left the room, hid in the room or I ate it.

Ruby I know

😩

Spiders in my house get eaten by the dog, circle of life and all that.....

I used to live in Africa and I'm not generally too bothered by spiders. But here in the UK, many years ago I was bitten by a huge bastard house spider that was in my bed!!! I was laying there reading and felt something like a bite on my leg. I flung back the duvet but didn't see anything. So back to the book, 2 mins later this mahooosive black spider crawled slowly out from under the duvet, right near my face. I leapt out of bed dancing and screeching.

Surprisingly I still don't mind them. But I make it my business to know exactly where the are at all times.

Sorry not helpful I know.