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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell off another child at soft play?

261 replies

Embarrassedatsoftplay · 23/04/2017 13:39

I saw a 5/6 year old repeatedly slapping my DD who's 2 years in the 0-3 area of soft play. I ran over immediately saying 'hey!' As she kept slapping her. I picked up dd who had been pummelled to the floor by other child and had red on one cheek and scratch marks, turned around, couldn't see parent and said 'you don't hit another child like' that in a shocked/raised (not shouting voice). I realise my panic transferred into the voice and I feel awful I didn't deal with it in calm and collected way, and just pick her up and find member of staff to deal with parent (who was in corner with headphones on, on phone facing away from soft play). This is first time I've seen DD be hit like this and I can see scratch marks on neck and arm but face has returned to normal colour. I know you're not meant to tell other people's kids of and I'm shaking/feeling awful.

OP posts:
Monkeydust · 23/04/2017 13:42

You acted calmer then I would of. Id of gone straight to the parent and told her yo get a handle in her kid.

I get so annoyed when big kids go in the baby areas and parents just shrug while small children are pushed to a corner.

Monkeydust · 23/04/2017 13:42

To get a handle on her kid*

Monkeydust · 23/04/2017 13:43

Id of probably said brat .. not kid to be fair

JustAKitten · 23/04/2017 13:44

No.

The other day, DS was trying to climb up a slide and other children kept coming down and not letting him go up.

I told them after they'd gone down to let DS go up because they couldn't hog the slide.

streetface · 23/04/2017 13:44

Do not give yourself a hard time over this AT ALL. You were completely within your rights as YOUR child was being attacked. Under any other circumstances, it is not really ok to tell another child off but a 5-6 year old physically hurting your OWN child...damn right you can say something!!

Did the kid's parent even find out what had happened and intervene? Poor you and DD I hope you are both ok.

Jamhandprints · 23/04/2017 13:45

You did the right thing. X x

SaltyandSweet · 23/04/2017 13:45

You did fine, in fact, you behaved much better than I would have! I would also have gone straight to the parent and probably lost my temper.

WorraLiberty · 23/04/2017 13:47

Of course it's ok.

It's not like you screamed in the child's face.

At 5/6 years of age, they need to learn that this sort of behaviour will provoke anger/annoyance in others.

The parent should have been watching/supervising though.

user1491572121 · 23/04/2017 13:47

I once politely asked a little boy to move off the slide...he was sitting on the actual slide...and no other kids could slide down without booting him in the head.

I said something like "Perhaps you could come off there now so the other children can have a slide?"

And he SCREAMED and burst into tears! He was about seven. HIs mum was on a bench...I had not realised she was his parent as she was just sitting there for ages whilst he blocked the slide.

She stood up and said "WHAT did you say to him!?? and I told her and she said

He can play however he wants to! He's just as much right as they others!!

Silly cow.

MrsPringles · 23/04/2017 13:48

I agree, definitely did the right thing. Gives me rage that some parents chuck their kids in a soft play and pretend they don't exist whilst their little cherubs are merrily whacking kids with plastic balls and generally being little shits.

Hope your DD is ok Flowers

LauraPalmersBodybag · 23/04/2017 13:50

I think your reaction was totally fine op. Children need boundaries and if this one wasn't getting it from her mum you were right to step in. You most importantly have to advocate for your child, which you did.

I'd also see nothing wrong with taking both children over to the other parent and showing her what had happened, and expect them to talk to their child.

Sorry your dd's been hurt.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 23/04/2017 13:51

justakitten I'm hoping you don't mean your son was trying to climb up the actual slide?

YANBU OP

AnnieanoniMouse · 23/04/2017 13:53

Of course you weren't unreasonabe.

I'm an adult. I'll tell off any child misbehaving - if people don't be like that, tough.

JustAKitten. That's really not on. If children are using equipment in the way it's intended to be used, it's rude to make them stop doing so in order for your child to use it differently. I'm perfectly happy to let them go upslides, walk along see saw bars etc, but they understand they can only do that when others aren't using them and when others come to play they have to use the equipment in the way it is designed to be used.

Mothervulva · 23/04/2017 13:53

Of course you can tell other kids off, especially if they're slapping your child and they are 5/6.

khajiit13 · 23/04/2017 13:54

Seriously justakitten? I get the impression from your post that your DS was actually trying to climb up the slide itself? If so you're in the wrong there.

OP you sound very restrained considering the injuries you describe, yanbu

DorotheaHomeAlone · 23/04/2017 13:54

justa Was that a joke? You told kids to stop going down the slide so your kid could climb it?

DorotheaHomeAlone · 23/04/2017 13:55

OP YWNBU. But I'm all for adults wading in on bad behaviour. Takes a village etc

WorraLiberty · 23/04/2017 13:56

justakitten!! Grin Grin

Original poster
Embarrassedatsoftplay · 23/04/2017 13:58

Thank you. Dd had lunch fine and is now sleeping. She needed cuddles and encouragement to play again but had a good time running around for another half hour. I'm a bit shaky and teary, and appreciate responses here. Thought I was being a PFB. Staff did intervene and alerted father who brought her over to apologise but the girl refused to. He sat down and chatted with her for a while, she played a bit longer and then they left.

I don't really know how to handle scenarios where child is being mean or spiteful. Usually at play group it's just toy hogging or boisterousness.

A lot of parents go there so they can just put their kids in soft play and then sit at the booths.

OP posts:
TaliDiNozzo · 23/04/2017 13:58

I assumed justakitten was referring to the steps on the slide that her DS was trying to climb, but I could be wrong!

OP, you did the right thing. Unfortunately some parents seem to think they no longer need to supervise in soft play, like it's some weird parallel universe where they're absolved of all responsibility.

JustAKitten · 23/04/2017 14:00

My son is 20 months. He gets a turn on the stuff too, if he wants to spend his walking up it how is that a problem?

RiversrunWoodville · 23/04/2017 14:01

Op I don't believe you did wrong when your child was being hit and their parent was not watching or intervening.
justakitten I would firmly but politely told my dds to continue using the slide correctly as we had been working on how it was both rude and dangerous to go up not down them and they don't have to move for someone using it wrong

WorraLiberty · 23/04/2017 14:02

My son is 20 months. He gets a turn on the stuff too, if he wants to spend his walking up it how is that a problem?

Stairs = Up

Slide = Down

If he wants to do any different, let him wait until it's empty.

JustAKitten · 23/04/2017 14:02

Rivers there's no right way to play. It's polite to let others take a turn. How they want to spend their turn is up to them

JustAKitten · 23/04/2017 14:03

Worra They have to take turns. What my DS does on his turn isn't their business.