To tell off another child at soft play?

[Embarrassedatsoftplay]

I saw a 5/6 year old repeatedly slapping my DD who's 2 years in the 0-3 area of soft play. I ran over immediately saying 'hey!' As she kept slapping her. I picked up dd who had been pummelled to the floor by other child and had red on one cheek and scratch marks, turned around, couldn't see parent and said 'you don't hit another child like' that in a shocked/raised (not shouting voice). I realise my panic transferred into the voice and I feel awful I didn't deal with it in calm and collected way, and just pick her up and find member of staff to deal with parent (who was in corner with headphones on, on phone facing away from soft play). This is first time I've seen DD be hit like this and I can see scratch marks on neck and arm but face has returned to normal colour. I know you're not meant to tell other people's kids of and I'm shaking/feeling awful.

Kitten He doesn't need to talk yet. He would surely understand being removed from climbing up the slide and being shown how to climb the steps? Over and over again if necessary. You're really not helping him out in this situation and I'm a big believer in exploratory play. This is just not the right environment at all for that.

Spikey but the other children would have had to give him a turn. I made him wait while the other children went down.

JustaKitten exploring is great but it is also great to teach child ren to behave in a way appropriate to the setting.

Get up early and go to a park before anyone else gets there for slide climbing, and explore in woods and parks and other natural settings.

A soft play setting crowded enough to require you to police the slide is not the right setting for insisting on your child's right to explore by effectively closing the slide to normal use. There is an unspoken "social contract" dictating co-operative or parallel play in playgrounds and soft play where a lot of children are using equipment simultaneously - everyone plays in a way which allows as many children as possible to share the equipment. Taking turns to go down the slide not "closing" the slide for the exclusive use of one child for a short while is part of that. Like the fact you sit up on one seat on a crowded train and don't lie across two seats and block the two opposite with bags, or run up a down escalator at a busy time, as someone else said.

Kitten his dirty shoes are going all over where the other children's bottoms go.

How is that nice? Or fair?

I get rather annoyed when there is one 'free spirited' parent just letting their kids do whatever they like at soft plays.
Public places have rules for everyone to follow, be free spirited at home not where there are lots of other kids playing on the same equipment

Up the stairs and down the slide, no brainer right?

If it's empty, crack on but when there's multiple children it just seems an accident waiting to happen

JustAKitten Wow you really are entitled aren't you? Or do rules simply not apply to you and your precious one?

Monkey obviously you don't let them do it for 20 minutes.

tea I doubt it. He's very much in his own world and will just go back to what we was doing. It doesn't matter how many times I show him.

Yes he would have had a turn up the top like everyone else. Sliding down a slide. If he wants to climb there are heaps of other things he could climb than a slide.

Or if he's too free spirited for a place with rules you could go and frolick in a field.

The rule for the slide is you queue, then slide down on your turn. All the kids know this and are taught this. Kitten, you are using your status as an adult to tell the kids they have to wait twice as long for their go, because your ds now wants to walk up the slide when he wants to rather than wait his turn.

That's not 'free play', it's unfair and squishing the needs of the other children.

Kitten I'm yet to visit a soft play where there isn't a set of written rules on display. Every single set I've seen includes one about not climbing the slide. The staff can't police everything, it surely is up to the parents to ensure that their children follow the rules?

Absolutely let them do it if the slide is free but it drives me crazy when parents smile on dotingly while their little ones 'explore' at the expense of all the others playing by the rules.

So Kitten you don't care about your child's dirty shoes going where the other kids' bottoms go?

JustAKitten

But it qould be that childs turn he could do what he pleases even if it stops all the other kids playing.

5 but I was with him helping him, he didn't take much longer than anyone else. So I do t see why this offends so many people.

I guess that people are very much rigid "RULES ARE RULES" types.

Tess if I'd have moved him to a climbing area he'd have just ran back.

User they don't wear shoes in soft okay!

Ah, I think she/he's trying to wind us up!

Yes, see what happens if you drive at 120mph down the motorway and tell the police that you are 'free spirited'. Maybe you could just sigh that they are obviously rigid 'rules are rules' people.

The slide rules are there for safety.

Justakitten
I get you
I did my dissertation on the benefits of risky play and the differences in perceptions between practitioners and parents. It was entitled You're supposed to go down the slide, not up!
And I got a first for it 😀

Op, yanbu
Of course you are supposed to tell other peoples children off, it takes a whole village to raise a child, as they say

Embarrassedatsoftplay YADNBU.

It's perfectly OK to tell another person's child off if they hurt your child, or you, or damage your things, if the parent isn't dealing with it (suitably).

You sound like you handled it well.

Of course children are precious and if she is your first born that is what it is.

Looks there's a bit of a difference. No one is going to get killed because someone walked up a slide.

120mph down the motorway in the wrong direction.

Well arguably, no one need be killed if you drive fast on the motorway. Plenty of people do without incident. Doesn't make it right.

Ok, was an extreme example but you can't just shrug it off as us all being 'rules are rules' people. If you teach your child that lesson, won't they have that attitude to all rules? Slippery slope and all that

JustAKitten If I saw your son climbing up a slide (or any child really), I would gently pick them up, place them elsewhere and let the rest of the children carry on using the equipment properly, regardless of whether you were standing right next to him or not.

Your behaviour is entitled and selfish and you will pass it on to your son, at which time you will sorely regret it when you have to deal with it.

JustAKitten "But they have to take turns regardless of how he uses it. What difference does it make to them?"

watch a pack of kids oin a slide, one climbs the ladder, another waiting to climb, one going down, one who has gone gone down and joins the line. It's like a well oiled machine and it works.

Now intersperse another child who makes everyone wait while he or she climbs up the slide and then either goes down the steps (more waiting, and quite dangerous turning at the top) or slides down backwards.

If no other kids are using it, and there is no issue with it, fine, let them climb up it, it might be dangerous or fine. But working out how to play in a group is a great skill for kids. Loads of other times and places and equipment for free play.

In my local park some kids like to play with the swings. They wrap the seat around the chains until the seat is up at the top of the frame and no one can use it. It's just very selfish. The slide is not the same but when it is busy/crowded it's just very unfair on the other kids.

Spread if you touched my child while I was standing right there we'd have an issue.