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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To tell off another child at soft play?

261 replies

Embarrassedatsoftplay · 23/04/2017 13:39

I saw a 5/6 year old repeatedly slapping my DD who's 2 years in the 0-3 area of soft play. I ran over immediately saying 'hey!' As she kept slapping her. I picked up dd who had been pummelled to the floor by other child and had red on one cheek and scratch marks, turned around, couldn't see parent and said 'you don't hit another child like' that in a shocked/raised (not shouting voice). I realise my panic transferred into the voice and I feel awful I didn't deal with it in calm and collected way, and just pick her up and find member of staff to deal with parent (who was in corner with headphones on, on phone facing away from soft play). This is first time I've seen DD be hit like this and I can see scratch marks on neck and arm but face has returned to normal colour. I know you're not meant to tell other people's kids of and I'm shaking/feeling awful.

OP posts:

Binkybix · 23/04/2017 14:15

You did the right thing. Much calmer than I would have been.

As for stopping kids going down a slide so a 20 month can climb up, I'd laugh in your face.

When it's busy kids are waiting at the top to go down, so that's a pain in the arse and it takes much longer to climb up than to go down so your one is having the equivalent of about 5 turns in one go. Also, when it's busy it will be dangerous, even with the best will in the world.

When it's quiet, I've no problem with climbing up slides.

cluelessjane · 23/04/2017 14:16

I used to work in a soft play area and children climbing up the slide was a massive issue for us. We used to have a staff member actually stand at the bottom of the slide at busy times to stop it happening, and if children repeatedly ignored us we would have to take action. Very frustrating when the parent doesn't support us in getting their child to come down the slide!!

It's dangerous and isn't how the play equipment isn't designed to be used. Especially dangerous when slide spray has recently been put on the slide as there is NO grip

JustAKitten · 23/04/2017 14:16

By 18 months kids can very well understand with guidance that when there are other kids there you go up the stairs and down the slide.

He doesn't understand yet. I get that it takes longer, but things take longer for babies to do.

Spikeyball · 23/04/2017 14:18

Kitten it won't be obvious to other children when your child's turn will be.

JustAKitten · 23/04/2017 14:19

Monkey Both of those things are incredibly harmful. Climbing up a slide has the chance of being mildly harmful if the child falls or hits into another, but it's not massively more risky than climbing on equipment.

I'm more concerned people are telling their kids from so young there are right and wrong ways to play.

I'll concede I'm very free spirited so perhaps it's me but I'm more interested in encouraging my son to explore

Monkeydust · 23/04/2017 14:19

Spikeyball her childs turn is probably when she deems it. She would no doubt of screamed murder if another child "who doesnt understand" came down the slide and kicked her son in the face

TessTube · 23/04/2017 14:20

You can't expect kids to stop sliding down a slide so your toddler can crawl up it. That's bonkers. It's usually somewhere in some rules about using equipment properly.

JustAKitten · 23/04/2017 14:20

Monkey a child did. I simply asked them to let DS climb up and DS laughed about it.

I'm not precious about DS getting hurt. Kids play.

TessTube · 23/04/2017 14:20

It's not free spirited to stop other children playing surely?

😂

JustAKitten · 23/04/2017 14:21

I'm not stopping anyone. I'm saying they take turns.

Tenerife2015 · 23/04/2017 14:21

Actually JustAKitten, there is a correct way to play if you're using someone else's equipment/facilities.

It is against soft play rules to climb up a slide and if you read their 'rules of play' you'll find it there. They have to have it there.

So you are wrong to let your DC climb the slide.

Monkeydust · 23/04/2017 14:21

JustAKitten

Again as I said no right way to play but a safe and right way to use equipment.
Also a good lesson to teach children how to act in social situations. Your child is not the center of universe. If he is not going to use equipment properly then why should other stop playing? Encourage him to use the stairs like any other reasonable parent would.

5moreminutes · 23/04/2017 14:21

JustaKitten he will take an awful lot longer than he should to learn how to play safely with other children around if you keep insisting other children clear the area so he can use it in a way which would be dangerous if you weren't policing.

20 months is a toddler not a baby. My DC1 was a big sister not much older than that and she most certainly wasn't a baby - she was a toddler and acted like one, because I was proud of what a big girl she was and didn't treat her as if she was incapable of understanding age appropriate explanations. Children (especially at that age) react well to being treated as though they are capable of a lot - they usually surprise you by being even more amazingly capable than you expected.

eurochick · 23/04/2017 14:22

Justa your child doesn't yet understand but presumably you do, so supervise him!

Mummyoflittledragon · 23/04/2017 14:22

5more. Well said. JustAKitten if you want to teach your child not to be aware of other children, that's fine. But it really isn't a good idea. Maybe you'll get this when your child is older and more autonomous.

Binkybix · 23/04/2017 14:22

He doesn't understand yet. I get that it takes longer, but things take longer for babies to do

Yes, I've had babies and have one a bit younger than yours now so I know how they work. I would expect a little bit of patience for mine to get down the slide but no way would I expect that a line of kids whilst they tried to do something daft that took a lot longer anyway. Honestly, there's a good chance he'll be kicked in the face doing this, and it won't be the child coming downs fault!

Tanith · 23/04/2017 14:23

Justakitten, you sound like a parent at our toddler group who was arguing with the Centre co-ordinator over playing with the fire extinguisher: "He's just exploring it! What harm can he do?"

JustAKitten · 23/04/2017 14:23

Monkey I haven't said he's the centre of the universe. I made him stop afterwards so the others can go down.

5 I know my son and what he understands.

teaandbiscuitsforme · 23/04/2017 14:24

Kitten If you're that 'free spirited' about safety, it's probably best to avoid group activities where, like or not, kids have to follow some rules. Your DS is not too young to understand.

JustAKitten · 23/04/2017 14:25

What kids do in their turn is up to them. If you've got child A and child B, my concern is allowing them both a go. What they do with their go is up to them.

JustAKitten · 23/04/2017 14:26

tea he doesn't talk yet and doesn't respond much to people talking to him. He isn't very aware of what things mean.

Tenerife2015 · 23/04/2017 14:26

What kids do in their turn is up to them

Not when you're using someone else's equipment!

JustAKitten · 23/04/2017 14:28

Then the staff can intervene if they think it's not on.

Spikeyball · 23/04/2017 14:28

If he doesn't understand then you need to guide him to use it in a safe way when other children are around. Like I have to with my older child with sn. You can't treat it like his personal exploration area.

Monkeydust · 23/04/2017 14:28

JustAKitten

So if a kid decides he wants to uss their turn by laying in the slide for 20 mins thats fine because its his turn?

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