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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this woman is an arsehole?

184 replies

parkQlsss · 16/04/2017 23:31

Hubby was in a fender bender a few days ago. He rear ended a woman in stop-and-go traffic VERY slowly. She got out screaming at him, even after he apologized and admitted fault... Hubby's truck had no damage and her car had basically none, just a few scratches on the bumper. Anyway, they exchanged insurance information but did not call the police. Now she is claiming that her car has over £1500 in damage and she has neck pain! Her car had almost zero damage, and I can't believe a few scratches would cost £1500 to fix. And she is claiming that she is going to miss work for her "neck pain" from a tiny bump, even after she immediately jumped out and started screaming at my husband! AIBU to think that she is being an arsehole and taking advantage of us?

OP posts:
leighb23 · 16/04/2017 23:33

Yanbu.
Did he get photos of both sets of "damage"?
Perhaps he should voice his concerns of a scam to his insurers??!

Scrumptiousbears · 16/04/2017 23:36

He needs to just let the insurance deal. Agree about pics. Very important and that it was a rolling bump at low speed.

As a side issue I had whiplash years ago and it didn't show itself until the next day but that was at speed.

PovertyJetset · 16/04/2017 23:38

Yes- deal with your insurance company and totally ignore the woman.

Take photos now, be totally upfront about what happened and do not engage with her. There may well be cameras nearby that will have caught the minor collision.

The insurance company will see this spurious claim! Don't fret!

Birdsgottaf1y · 16/04/2017 23:41

Lesson learned, next time allow the legal breaking distance and pay attention, especially in a larger vehicle.

As said, whiplash damage can take time to show itself.

ImNotWhoYouThinkIAmOhNo · 16/04/2017 23:41

DD was rear-ended at low speed twice, both in slow-moving traffic on an urban street. Neither were her fault.

The first time, she suffered whiplash and the car was a write off (it was an old car). Second time, in a new car (8 days old), the car looked almost unmarked but on closer inspection (at a garage) it needed a new bumper, a new parking sensor and some respraying, all of which cost nearly £1000. We were shocked at the cost of the repair. So don't diss the £1500 too quickly.

The first time, she said she hardly knew what had happened and didn't say much at the time, whereas the second time (which was exactly 8 weeks after the first time), she was apparently rather excitable and gave the idiot driver a bit of a tongue-lashing.

FanaticalFox · 16/04/2017 23:43

Dash cam.

Teabagtits · 16/04/2017 23:53

You can't always see mechanical or undercarriage damage. Your oh should've been watching where he was going!

TheNiffler · 16/04/2017 23:54

Why is she an arsehole, your husband drove into her car?

Witchend · 16/04/2017 23:57

Not necessarily a scam.
I was rear ended at very low speed.
We both leapt out of the car apologising. Her car had scratched mine (much older) looked like all that it was was the bumper was coming off.

When I got home, went to open the boot and couldn't get it open. Very small dent in the back door was the only visible sign.
First garage I went to wrote the car (value around £1500) off.
After spending some time on the phone in tears (both of us) we agreed that I would try two more garages, one her choice, one mine and see what they could do.
Her garage quoted £1000+VAT, but then I found one that was less, so we went with that off insurance.

However it was a hassle for me as the garage was some way away and I was without a car for three days. It would have been perfectly reasonable to ask for a hire car for those three days and to say that garage was too far.

Also I thought we were fine at the time, but both me and one of the dc that was in the car at the time (I had 4 dc with me, she had 2) woke the next day in pain, and were in pain for 2-3 days afterwards. One of her dc was checked out at A&E the next day after complaining of neck ache.

I was stationary at the time, and I doubt she was doing more than 5mph so I don't think she's necessarily trying it on.

edwinbear · 16/04/2017 23:58

I once had an uninsured driver drive into the back of my car relatively slowly. It did indeed cost £1500 to fix the damage the twat did. And I whole load more shit to trace the guy. Your DH should learn to drive.

PurpleMinionMummy · 17/04/2017 00:00

The insurance company will assess the damage and come to their own conclusions, don't worry about it. She won't be able to take advantage of them.

Bigbertha123 · 17/04/2017 00:03

I once had someone drive into back of me. There was no visible damage and I was going to just leave it, but the driver who drove into me recommended I get it checked. I was shocked when the body shop showed me underneath the car.
The whole under carriage was mangled and squashed. It needed a new bumper, back panel, under carriage and resprayed. There was over £1500 of damage.

Meeep · 17/04/2017 00:03

Yep I had someone drive into the back of my car at slow speed and although it seemed fine visually, when we took it to a garage it needed £900 of work. I was really really expecting them to say there was nothing wrong. We got another quote for the other guy's benefit and they said the same. It completely might not be a scam!

longlostpal · 17/04/2017 00:06

Honestly, it doesn't sound immediately impossible that someone could get whiplash from being rear-ended by a truck, even if the damage to the car wasn't visible. But I agree that you should just let the insurance companies deal with it and ask her not to contact you personally.

JustFuckingReally · 17/04/2017 00:07

YABU

Nicknacky · 17/04/2017 00:08

I was rear ended 18 months ago and I jumped out the car shouting as my two kids were in the car and I was more worried about them than me. My car had a bad scratch!

But I had ligament damage that I still suffer from to this day. Don't be so dismissive.

Cherrysoup · 17/04/2017 00:10

I think she's possibly a chancher, but your dh is at fault for rear ending her. Let the insurance deal, don't engage, she sounds like a scary angry person. You'll take a hit on next year'ss premium. Unlucky.

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/04/2017 00:14

I really hate being tailgated by trucks.

froofroomcgoo · 17/04/2017 00:15

YABU. My car was written of and I had dreadful whiplash from the most ridiculously petty looking accident- my bumper had cracks internally as did bits of the exhaust and chassis. I struggled to dance at my own wedding 2 months later.

Tell insurance and let her get on with it. She may be a chancery, she may be genuine but ultimately it was your husband's fault.

user1490744254 · 17/04/2017 00:16

Like TheNiffler said, your OH drove into her car, why is she an arsehole?

Don't you feel any sympathy towards her? Must have been a shock to be hit from behind!

nocoolnamesleft · 17/04/2017 00:19

I think whoever drove a truck into the back of her could more justifiably be considered an arsehole.

honeyroar · 17/04/2017 00:36

I lightly scratched a car parking last year (as slow as can be!). My car looked worse, yet most of the scratch came off in the rain, it cost £80 to polish the rest out. The other lady had a big BMW 4x4, her BMW garage got the bill up to over £1800 and when I asked if my qualified mechanic husband could see the damage, refused. I truly think the garage were milking the insurance, but at the end of the day I was the one at fault and don't blame lady at all.

ArriettyClock1 · 17/04/2017 00:43

No-one's an arsehole - accidents happen and sadly, people often over-react.

Regardless of whether her car was badly damaged or merely scratched - just let the insurance deal with it. If she's trying to make more of it, it should not be of your concern.

nokidshere · 17/04/2017 00:44

DH was hit from behind when stationary and even though it looked just like a minor mark on the bumper the damage was over £900.

TheLambShankRedemption · 17/04/2017 00:51

Agree with most of the comments; let the insurance deal with it - if one of the insurer's approved garages has quoted for works then it is very likely that that's what it costs. You can't tell from the bumper if other works are required.

I too got out of a car after being rear ended as if there was nothing wrong with me. 24hrs later I was sore and 48 hours later I could barely move and had physio for 4 months for whiplash. It took years for all symptoms to subside.

YABU

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