To think this woman is an arsehole?

[parkQlsss]

Hubby was in a fender bender a few days ago. He rear ended a woman in stop-and-go traffic VERY slowly. She got out screaming at him, even after he apologized and admitted fault... Hubby's truck had no damage and her car had basically none, just a few scratches on the bumper. Anyway, they exchanged insurance information but did not call the police. Now she is claiming that her car has over £1500 in damage and she has neck pain! Her car had almost zero damage, and I can't believe a few scratches would cost £1500 to fix. And she is claiming that she is going to miss work for her "neck pain" from a tiny bump, even after she immediately jumped out and started screaming at my husband! AIBU to think that she is being an arsehole and taking advantage of us?

I think everyone that gets out of their cars after accidents and starts shouting and swearing at other drivers are total knobs. (Unless the other driver was aggressive first). Why be so hotheaded and nasty. I'd feel annoyed if someone bumped into me but I wouldn't scream and shout. It's pointless and makes you look a right twat.
BTW I haven't had it happen to me and I haven't ever behaved like that to anyone else.

Why be so hotheaded and nasty. I'd feel annoyed if someone bumped into me but I wouldn't scream and shout. It's pointless and makes you look a right twat.

Perhaps because they are shocked and angry.

You really can't know how you'll react until it happens to you.

Why be so hotheaded and nasty

A combination of fear, adrenalin and surprise/ shock. A van driver once knocked me off my bike. 20mph zone and I was going down hill at around that speed so he would have had to go well past the speed limit to get past. He undertook me in the wrong lane on a roundabout. Fortunately I managed to drop the bike from under me and land on my feet unhurt. He could very easily have killed me. He broke several road traffic laws. He stopped, went to get out of his van and I swore so much he got back in again. Quite a large man who didn't look like he would respond well to being sworn at by anyone but he did rethink checking if I was OK.

Until you've been there, don't make assumptions about how you might react.

You don't know how you're going to react until it happens. I've. Even rear ended twice, once due to an accident further ahead, the other was at traffic lights.

The first one, I was very calm and rational, the second some people ran out at the last minute with an off the lead dog following them. XH was driving, and couldn't pull away as the lights changed to green. The old man behind pulled away into the back of us. I, somewhat irrationally, decided I had to get out and catch the dog, as 'proof'. Caught the dog, then quite ridiculously fainted from shock.

Third time I was in an accident (t boned at a junction) I had the DDs in the car, and went into full blown tiger mother mode. You would not have wanted to argue with me, and I still go hot with embarrassment at the thought of it.

Oh and a white van man came round a bend and took my wing mirror off, showering me with glass. I turned round and chased him 3 miles in a white rage, until I caught up with him at a rail crossing. Scared the fuck out of him, purple with rage, and bleeding all over from numerous cuts from the glass. Shock does weird things to you particularly when combined with bad PMT

Unfortunately in this day and age of fibre glass painted bumpers that have to be spray painted to match it is very easy for something that looks like mere scratches to cost in excess of £1,500 to repair. Indeed when there was a crack in my husband's bumper under the scratch it needed replacing and they come unpainted so still had the paint cost.

Bring back chrome bumpers where dents etc can be knocked out!

She may have been shocked, or it may have been a new car.

It doesn't take away that your husband should have been paying more attention then the accident wouldn't have happened.

It won't make a difference to his premium as to the cost of any damage/pi it will lead to the same rise in premium either way.

Theniffler high five and

Nibbler Gafflion Soup. Fair enough. I guess I don't know if I haven't been in the situation. I really don't think I would and I'm in my 50's ...but who knows. I'm known for being cool, calm and collected but if someone did something really reckless then I guess might think shouting would be called for. Generally though I think it's better to give the other person a chance to apologise if possible. If it was a genuine accident they may well be in shock too.

She might be trying it on, but it's very possible she's not. I was hit from behind, vehicle was only going about five miles an hour, maybe less (it was heavy start stop traffic). I don't know if it was the angle of the impact or something else, but I was in absolute agony for a couple of weeks after. I didn't claim for the injury, so had nothing to gain from pretending it was worse than it was (in fact I was very embarrassed admitting to the pain as the accident was such a non event)
There were only light scratches to my car, nothing major, but due to the position and a parking sensor needing fixed I think the repair cost around £1000.

Yep Need, both times I was rear ended, and the t bone, I got whiplash, once really badly. It is stupidly painful and restrictive, not only does it hurt, but you feel like your head is in free fall and you can't support it. Whiplash is NASTY.

Oh and £1500 is nothing, first whiplash was 25 years ago, and I got £3l for it. Plus repairs to the car, don't know what that was, as it was a company car.

I was rear ended at slow speed on approach to a roundabout once. My car needed a new tailgate as it wouldn't latch due to the minor dint, and a new bumper. Total cost was £1100 once labour included. As I was leaning forward and craning to my right trying to see around the van in the outside lane, I tore all the muscles up one side of my back, I had a £350 chiropractic bill paid and £1200 personal injury. This was 10 years ago, I went to a new chiropractor recently and the first thing he said was "how long ago did you damage your back?" It still twinges sometime. I'm guessing around 5mph impact.

Generally though I think it's better to give the other person a chance to apologise if possible. If it was a genuine accident they may well be in shock too

Shouting and swearing aren't good things, obviously. But to be honest it isn't something I give thought to. it's not "Oh, I should shout at this driver who has threatened my life". I'm just angry and start shouting. Plus the whole thing of "genuine accident" is weird. I have occasionally had people deliberately drive at me on my bike. More often than not I have people just driving badly and carelessly. They don't mean to harm me, scare me or hit me but I don't view what they do as a "genuine accident". It's something that could be prevented if they acted differently and it's reasonable to expect them to act differently.

Likewise if the OP's husband had been vigilant and left a decent stopping distance the collision wouldn't have happened. Sure, we all make mistakes but I'm not inclined to dismiss them if as a consequence my well being is threatened.

Bloody van drivers. Probably too busy leering at women and didn't see the car. Typical.

Your DH drives a truck - HE should be taking more notice and giving more space because of that. Entirely his fault - I have no sympathy.

What is a truck anyway? I thought we said 'lorry' here , so I am struggling to imagine the size of the vehicle....

No one was an arsehole really -shit happens. Suck it up DH.

I once watched a motorbike (he was from overseas so not aware a blind junction was ahead) plough into the back of a large BMW. I was more concerned for him, given his vulnerability.

She was hysterical. Wouldn't get out of the car or wind her windows down to speak to me at all. She was shaking and wailing. I stopped feeling at all sorry, must admit - but different people react in different ways to prangs.

I have had three people tail end me : I shouted at one because she was driving fast on a icy road and I could see form ages back that she would not be able to stop when I did at a roundabout. She sure deserved a mouthful. I was pregnant at the time. Grr

You can quickly cause £1500 of damage to a car even with a few small scratches. Parts labour etc all adds up.

She was probably in shock and reacted angrily because of that. I would be pissed off too.

If it's an insurance claim then how do you even know she's claiming it's £1500? I'm confused. Are you going through the insurer? If she is, she will never even see that money. The garage will send the claim to the insurer, they'll approve it and pay for it.

Also the overriding thing here is that you weren't actually there. So all this info about your DHs driving and this woman's reaction is all biased anyway.

YABU. My DH was rear ended in stop start traffic on a motorway (less than 10mph though). He was driving my small car and other driver had a fully loaded transit. The mass of the vehicles has a big impact on damage, as well as the speed. Basic physics, innit?

My poor car was written off, even though it just looked like scratches on the outside. Had to buy a new car, cost us an extra £1600 that we weren't expecting to have to spend at the time (was planning to replace car in around 15 months and was going to use that time to save). Also saw our insurance premiums go up because the guy's insurance company disputed fault for 9 months (even though it was obviously his fault and he apologised and took blame at the scene). During that period, we had to renew my husband's insurance on our other car. Premium was £150 higher as we had an unresolved claim. Was settled 6 months later after they finally admitted fault. But our insurance company only refunded the higher charge on a pro rata basis.

We were also sent threatening letters by the other insurance company saying we had to use their people for hire cars etc to minimise the loss. Except they sent that 2 weeks after the accident and refused to engage with my insurance company before that. So we had to use a different company to provide a hire car (I had to get to work!) and his insurance company threatened us again and said they wouldn't pay. They did eventually, but only after a number of letters and hours spent sorting it out on my part.

So essentially my husband did nothing wrong, he was driving at a sensible distance and stopped in plenty of time as did the rest of the drivers stuck in stop start traffic that day. The transit driver wasn't paying attention and hit my husband. It caused us almost a year of hassle, hours and hours lost to sorting it all out, hundreds of pounds in increased insurance costs, and we had to borrow to buy a new car much earlier than expected instead of being able to save up and pay in our own time as we had planned.

And that was a minor accident with no injuries; my husband had mild neck pain which he took ibuprofen for and didn't claim anything.

Your 'hubby' is being VU. Drive properly and safely, pay attention, especially if driving a truck FFS. I hope he's now going to admit fault immediately and make sure his insurance company is behaving properly.

Crash for cash?

I was walking down the street when i saw a similar shunt, close to zero speed, no visible damage done to either car. I thought i should hang around in case they needed a witness.

The woman whose car had been nudged flung open the door and sprinted at a pace that would shame Ussain Bolt to the driver of the other car yelling 'I've got whiplash, you've given me whiplash'.

At that point i walked off, she was blatantly at it. I wasn't going to stick around and aid her in ripping off the insurance company.

I suspect there's something similar going on here.

YABU as someone who works in insurance. Just let the insurers deal, he ran into the back of her so it's a clear cut case. If they are reputable they'll see through a scam

I hate it when people take maximum advantage of tiny accidents and are rude. So the danage is done, there is no need to scream and shout. I think she sees this as a massive windfall pay check.

Sorry for the confusion DH is not a lorry driver he drives a Nissan Navara

A massive windfall pay check? On what planet is £1.5k a massive amount of money when you've been hurt and your car damaged? Not to mention the shock, time off work, etc. You've seriously no idea how much whiplash can hurt, how time consuming appointments can be - I had physio for months to try and help the soft tissue injury heal. This is someone's NECK, not a cut finger.

I can't believe people are actually calling this woman an arsehole.

Has no one else considered the fact that it's pretty stupid to drive into the back of someone, therefore the ops dh is going to minimise his role in this and make the woman sound horrible. Op did you actually witness the incident? Is it an insurance claim? If ai how do you know she is claiming for whiplash?