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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this woman is an arsehole?

184 replies

parkQlsss · 16/04/2017 23:31

Hubby was in a fender bender a few days ago. He rear ended a woman in stop-and-go traffic VERY slowly. She got out screaming at him, even after he apologized and admitted fault... Hubby's truck had no damage and her car had basically none, just a few scratches on the bumper. Anyway, they exchanged insurance information but did not call the police. Now she is claiming that her car has over £1500 in damage and she has neck pain! Her car had almost zero damage, and I can't believe a few scratches would cost £1500 to fix. And she is claiming that she is going to miss work for her "neck pain" from a tiny bump, even after she immediately jumped out and started screaming at my husband! AIBU to think that she is being an arsehole and taking advantage of us?

OP posts:
herecomesthsun · 17/04/2017 01:00

One advantage of driving an old Volvo estate has been that when we were rear ended by a large Mercedes van, the van came off far worse and we were unhurt.

I think the van driver was quite impressed by just how angry my husband was and was eager to admit responsibility and give gis details.

Original poster
parkQlsss · 17/04/2017 01:08

I just don't understand how she can have that much damage to her car and injuries after a small bump. This was at less than 5 mph, hubby has ZERO damage and her car had tiny scratches... It just feels like she is trying to take advantage of the fact that hubby made a mistake to get a quick payday Angry

OP posts:
TheNaze73 · 17/04/2017 01:09

YANBU

FeralBeryl · 17/04/2017 01:09

YABU - you had me at 'truck'
It is a totally different ball game if a car is hit by a larger vehicle.
The woman may well have been unreasonable in her behaviour shouting-but may well have been in shock.
This is the reason we have insurance - honestly, don't get worked up by it and let them deal with it.

EatsShitAndLeaves · 17/04/2017 01:19

He was in a truck.

He crashed into her.

Yet you still think she is being unreasonable.

Even 15mph can do a lot of damage. My DH took his 2 day old car out to pick up DSD and someone in a big 4x4 smacked into the back of him at that speed.

The cost was a new bumper plus all the electric items for the rear camera etc. The bill was over £3k.

To be fair I'm not a believer in whiplash, but the damage to a car at that speed can be considerable.

In terms of crashes it's relative speed that can be vital. You can rear end someone going 60mph and they are doing 57mph and have virtually no damage - it's 3 mph.

That's why head on collisions are so bad - a car doing 30 and one doing 40 is a 70mph impact.

Even a 15mph hit is significant if one car is stationary.

EatsShitAndLeaves · 17/04/2017 01:23

Oh and btw I'd scream at someone who bumped into the back of my car.

Actually I'd want to punch them. I love my car.

SoulAccount · 17/04/2017 01:26

Minor-seeming bumper damage can be very expensive.

But I do wonder how people survive fairground bumper cars, with whiplash being so prevalent at these snail-like speeds Hmm

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/04/2017 01:34

Less than 5 mph? My arse. He would have to have been practically in her boot at that speed, or really distracted, to hit her. If you are in charge of half a ton of metal, leave a proper stopping distance!

I cannot tell you how many times I get tailgated by trucks. Far less than normal cars. It seems a function of their drivers to be too close.

Original poster
parkQlsss · 17/04/2017 01:45

MrsTerryPratchett
He wasn't tailgating he was trying to merge into another lane and didn't notice she stopped

OP posts:
EatsShitAndLeaves · 17/04/2017 01:57

Didnt notice she had stopped

Umm - in other words was driving without due care and attention....but the woman he crashed into was unreasonable Hmm

Original poster
parkQlsss · 17/04/2017 02:13

EatsShitAndLeaves
I'm not saying it wasn't DH's fault but her claim is unreasonable to me

OP posts:
FeralBeryl · 17/04/2017 02:16

It's very unlikely he was doing under 5mph when trying to merge lanes isn't it?

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/04/2017 02:18

You are crawling along at 4mph. Properly slow. I think he was either going a good deal faster or being pushy and misjudged.

I reiterate; when you are driving half a ton of metal, be careful. If you want to be an idiot, fast, leave no stopping distance or pay no attention, buy a Smart car.

Original poster
parkQlsss · 17/04/2017 02:45

He said less than 5 mph, it might have been faster but not by very much...

OP posts:
FeralBeryl · 17/04/2017 02:49

MrsTerry agreed. My car is big and weighs nearly 3 tons, the damage I would inflict on someone in a fiesta doing 10 miles an hour could be substantial. A truck would be even worse.

44PumpLane · 17/04/2017 05:52

parkQIsss you've stated you think she's trying it in as you don't believe someone could have that value of damage from such a slow bump. Many many MN posters have now come on to this thread and shared with you their stories of being rear ended really slowly- ranging from similar cost to repair to similar physical injury and including others saying hat they too would get out their car shouting.

Therefore YABU- and as demonstrated by the bunch of strangers you asked the opinions of, the costs sound perfectly reasonable, the woman was reasonable for getting out her car shouting (probably a bit in shock), and it sounds legitimate that she'd potentially have whiplash!!!

User7654 · 17/04/2017 06:08

Someone reversed into the side of my car, fairly slowly. Didn't look like much damage at all, small dent and couple of scratches. £1500 worth; bumper needed replacing.

YABU

steff13 · 17/04/2017 06:11

Just let it go and let the insurance sort it out.

WateryTart · 17/04/2017 06:15

Leave the insurance companies to sort it out. If the claim is unjustified then it won't be paid.

SorryForCallingYourMumACunt · 17/04/2017 06:18

Someone went into the back of me with his 'truck' in almost exactly the same situation and caused my car £1200 of damage.

The driver said "it was only a tap"

Well yeah I expect that's all it felt like to you, in your great big bloody truck!

And whilst it only looks like a 'few scratches on the bumper' it actually bent all the metal underneath and I had to get another MOT to check it was safe to drive.

So I'm sorry but I'm inclined to believe the woman. Although the neck thing is probably bullshit.

(Btw I am not the woman in the OP, mine has been done and sorted and the guy got off Scott free by making himself incognito)

Carollocking · 17/04/2017 06:20

Sounds like he needs to retake his test,and yes Yabu as it dosent take much to get to thousands in damage that you can't see without looking under the car and checking fully.
Whiplash pain often begins the next morning it's not uncommon.
She should have called the police and he'd have been charged with driving without due care and attention. Maybe she's Lucky and it's on a camera and can prove it still.

Mummyoflittledragon · 17/04/2017 06:24

I would say she could be telling the truth. Trucks are pretty heavy. Stop complaining and deal with the aftermath.

m0therofdragons · 17/04/2017 06:27

It's so easy to do £1,500 of damage. Let insurance deal with it.

She may be lying about her neck but your dh was in a truck and not her car so he can't tell the impact - I've done my back in just stretching in bed in the morning so a bump when she was in a slightly awkward position could easily do damage. You go into someone, you pay the consequences.
Fwiw I drove very slowly into a parking space and clipped the car beside me (my best friend's car Blush) and the scratches were minor but it shifted the bumper 2mm which caused issues. Cost £950 to repair.

SnugglyBedSocks · 17/04/2017 06:29

OP - it does seem that she is making a big deal but unfortunately you can't prive otherwise. Everyone has a story to tell but ultimately you'll just have to let the insurance firm deal with it.

My own story is that I was rear ended but harder than that. I did get compensation for whiplash as I had to take two days off work but it didn't really hurt until the next day.

Even though I wasn't at fault I'm not looking forward to my insurance renewal.

m0therofdragons · 17/04/2017 06:30

Just thought, don't most insurance companies insist you use specific repair companies? Mine did so I had no control over the quote they gave.