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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this woman is an arsehole?

184 replies

parkQlsss · 16/04/2017 23:31

Hubby was in a fender bender a few days ago. He rear ended a woman in stop-and-go traffic VERY slowly. She got out screaming at him, even after he apologized and admitted fault... Hubby's truck had no damage and her car had basically none, just a few scratches on the bumper. Anyway, they exchanged insurance information but did not call the police. Now she is claiming that her car has over £1500 in damage and she has neck pain! Her car had almost zero damage, and I can't believe a few scratches would cost £1500 to fix. And she is claiming that she is going to miss work for her "neck pain" from a tiny bump, even after she immediately jumped out and started screaming at my husband! AIBU to think that she is being an arsehole and taking advantage of us?

OP posts:
Gabilan · 17/04/2017 15:17

The trouble is, many people do make false claims for injuries such as whiplash. This makes it all the more difficult for those who have genuine injuries. We have no way of knowing whether this woman is trying to claim for genuine hurt or if she is trying to get compensation fraudulently, over and above the 1.5k for the vehicle damage. As PP have said, that's for the insurers to work out.

Gabilan · 17/04/2017 15:24

Has no one else considered the fact that it's pretty stupid to drive into the back of someone, therefore the ops dh is going to minimise his role in this and make the woman sound horrible

Yes, lots of people. Are we even reading the same thread?

TheNiffler · 17/04/2017 16:26

I have no idea Galiban, I'm finding it pretty incomprehensible too. Some tit in a truck drives into the back of her car, and she's the arsehole. Bonkers.

teaandcakeat8 · 17/04/2017 17:28

Gabilan Yes I have read the thread which is why I don't understand why there are so many posts blaming the woman!

The thread is pretty irrelevant if the OP is going through the insurance anyway as they will decide if the woman is 'an arsehole' and no one will be taken for a ride...

BerylStreep · 17/04/2017 17:56

As someone with chronic neck issues, it only takes the slightest jolt for me to be in agonising pain for months.

I don't think it is for you or your DH to judge her level of pain.

daffodil10 · 17/04/2017 20:42

It's completely irrelevant and a waste of your time op to worry about whether shes taking advantage. It doesn't matter whether you think she is or not the insurers will decide. You'll lose one years no claims discount. Move on that's what insurance is there for.

paddlenorapaddle · 17/04/2017 23:17

Dash cams this is why I have two far too many arseholes on the road

SoupDragon · 18/04/2017 00:12

far too many arseholes on the road

Like the OP's DH for example.

avamiah · 18/04/2017 00:22

Yes I agree that's what we have insurance for .
Let the insurance company deal with it, that's why we pay ridiculously high premiums so we don't have to worry about being scammed.
It's their job to investigate and they get paid very well to do so.

Ginlinessisnexttogodliness · 18/04/2017 00:32

I was shunted by a man whose surname was Peach - irrelevant detail sorry - in a supermarket car park many years ago. He was hardly driving at all. Two weeks later my car was written off as the angle of the shunt had, according to two separate garages "shattered the bell housing for the engine". Meant nothing to me. Until the mechanic stripped the car took pictures and sent the, to insurance company.
Car was indeed written off. Something totally innocuous such as an incredibly low speed shunt to the corner of my car finished it off.

I wouldn't be so presumptive as to the lack of damage. Leave it to the Insurance companies to deal with and stop speculating as to the motives or lack of, of a woman who was still rear ended by your truck driving husband at the end of the day.

HappenedForAReisling · 18/04/2017 05:16

By truck, do you mean a lorry or a pick-up?

SoupDragon · 18/04/2017 08:30

By "truck" she means a Nissan Navara.

TheNiffler · 18/04/2017 16:27

Yep, traffic light shunt my car looked fine, just a ding on the bumper, underneath was another story.

damewithaname · 18/04/2017 17:27

It's what is under the bumper that is the problem...probably some damage to the chassis. Let the insurance people deal with the lady.

Cubtrouble · 18/04/2017 17:31

There's only one arsehole in this situation and that's you OP.

How in anyway is this the woman's fault? Your oh wasn't paying attention and hit her car. I'd have shouted as well, whilst I don't agree with people who lie and claim for no reason you have absolutely NOTHING ago to be bitching about. Likely her car needed a new bumper. I got hit by a kid on a bike and my car needed a new back door. £1500 later and I had to claim because he being a kid wasn't insured. I suffered for years with raised premiums and being a young driver myself because of an idiot.

So it sounds like to me you need to pay up and shut up.

SistersOfPercy · 18/04/2017 17:35

DS was rear ended by a car at around 5mph, just shy of £1200 damage. Barely a scratch to the bumper but there was damage underneath. I can easily imagine a truck doing that kind of damage at low speed.

TakeOneDayAtATime · 18/04/2017 17:36

This happened to me a few years ago.

I invested in a dash cam and it came into its own last year when someone claimed I pulled out of a junction and caused an accident.

Didn't happen. The arsehole was using a mobile phone, lost control and drove into me while I was waiting at the junction.

Can't recommend them highly enough.

Cubtrouble · 18/04/2017 17:37

I will also add if someone rear ended me in slow moving traffic I'd have called the police and had them check your oh wasn't on the phone.

MsMarvel · 18/04/2017 17:39

I've had someone drive into the back of me at relatively slow speed when I was stationary, waiting to turn right.

Car didn't look to bad but damage to the chassis and other internal bits left the total repairs at over £3000. Work to the car was actually delayed because the other guys insurance wanted to send someone out to assess the garage's claim because they thought it was too high. But it was then okay'd as there was genuinely that much damage. I'm guessing the other guy downplayed the accident to his insurance.

(And that value was on a corsa, with relatively cheap parts. The make of the car can make a big difference to the costs)

MadisonMont · 18/04/2017 17:42

Lesson learned, next time allow the legal breaking distance and pay attention, especially in a larger vehicle.

Oh come on! Accidents bloody happen to even the most sensible people. We can't all be as perfect as you.

MadisonMont · 18/04/2017 17:43

I'd have called the police and had them check your oh wasn't on the phone.

So you give out your orders then?

honeyharris · 18/04/2017 17:43

Was rear ended at slow speed at a roundabout. It caused £1600 worth of damage to my car (11 yo Nissan, only looked like a tiny dent but had crumpled the car into the boot ) and caused me to have whiplash which started over a week later and am still experiencing pain and what seems to be permanent stiffness even after physio.

Mmest75 · 18/04/2017 17:49

Yes unf agree with most above. I was stationary and a car reversed into me ...
I nearly didn't bother taking the details as there was no visible damage ... but anyway once I took it to the garage and they assessed it the parking sensors were damaged and was over £1500 plus I had to have a courtesy car for 4 days ....

Barrytheunicorn · 18/04/2017 17:50

Whiplash doesn't start straight away so YABU saying she got up and about straight away so didn't have whiplash.
I was in a towing truck that was in the process of wrenching my car into the truck when someone drove straight through the cable wire.
Even though there was no physical collision with the truck the jolt of the wire being snapped pulled the truck backwards and I had a really sore neck the next day and that was probably even lower impact than truck versus car.

You don't know if she already has neck issues that have been exacerbated causing the pain.

As for a few scratches again you just can't tell from looking at it sometimes.
In the same incident I described above where car was being wenched up onto a pick up truck our car looked fine at the time as the only visual damage was to the tow bar. Our car actually had £1600 damage underneath the car that wasn't visiable externally so again YABU to say there were just a few scratches. For all you know the exhaust could have been damaged and more etc.
Plus as soon as companies know they're doing a body repair through insurance companies they hike the prices up anyway.

I wouldn't take it personally that's what you have insurance for. Your dh has already admitted fault so his insurance is going up either way now so just let them deal with it.
Whether she's genuine or not it's not going to change the party at fault or price increase anyway so just let the insurance sort it.

46LivinglifeintheFastLane46 · 18/04/2017 17:50

Aren't you lot just a lovely bunch!

Her husband apologised and admitted fault and you lot decide to call him names and say he should have paid more attention.

Accidents can and do happen, whether the woman's car is badly damaged or not there is no need to slate someone's husband after he's taken all the right steps to right his wrong.

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