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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think work are taking the piss now

237 replies

DelphineCormier · 03/02/2017 21:32

Posted another thread a few weeks ago and don't really want to go into all that again, but brief summary, my boss tried to cancel my booked holiday two days in advance because colleague 1 had been forced to take early maternity leave unexpectedly. Couldn't persuade anyone else to cover the shift so told me I would have to cancel my holiday booked for that day as my cover was needed to cover colleague 1. I had worked xmas day on the basis I would get this day off, eventual outcome was colleague 2 was persuaded to cover my shift. Maternity cover for colleague 1 eventually started a week later, boss had struggled finding cover.

Colleague 3 is also pregnant, and has just put in a request to start early maternity leave. Boss is freaking out slightly over this as colleague 3 had said she would start maternity leave much later iyswim, colleague 1 was early but not this early. Cover has been found, but will not do weekend shifts. I have been 'asked' if I will take on colleague 3's Sunday shift until an alternative solution is found. I am allowed to say no, although colleague 3 and other colleagues are putting a lot of pressure on me to do this.

I already work Saturday mornings and am a single parent. Not left with a lot of time when I would actually see my child if I were also working Sundays! I would get another half day off during the week but no guarantee what hours this will be. Childcare on Sundays would be an absolute nightmare. No one else works both days at the weekend, and lots don't work weekends at all. AIBU to tell them to ask pressurise someone else?

OP posts:

KindergartenKop · 03/02/2017 21:36

Can't you do the odd Sunday and rotate with other colleagues?

PoohBearsHole · 03/02/2017 21:39

Tell them no. Just no. Even offering to do part of it would give the impression you'd do all of them and therefore no one would pick up the slack.

Good luck

Squ1ggle · 03/02/2017 21:40

I think in your situation you are allowed to put yourself and your children's family fine first. Just tell them that you can't find childcare and as you already work Saturdays you are sorry but you just can't do it

Chilver · 03/02/2017 21:44

I would just say 'no'. If pushed, say it doesn't work for you and your family. No need to go into anything else.

DropZoneOne · 03/02/2017 21:46

Tell them no. Outcome will most likely be all colleagues have to rotate the Sunday shift, hence them putting pressure on you.

Your boss is an ejjit. Fancy employing cover that doesn't actually cover the required shifts. Also appears to want to avoid conflict by putting pressure on you rather than your colleagues. Stand up for yourself.

I'm also wondering where in retail (presuming it's retail, or is it health care?) you can get a temporary job and dictate what shifts you will/won't work? Surely it's "here's the hours we need, are you up for the job?"

ginswinger · 03/02/2017 21:46

I think I would offer 1 in 4 Sundays but these are pretty unsociable hours for a parent, let alone a single mum.

Original poster

DelphineCormier · 03/02/2017 21:57

Based on previous situations they will be angling for one person to cover Sundays for the foreseeable future, they will want to avoid us doing it on a rota unless they absolutely have to. I am not going to offer myself up for the odd Sunday because I can see people making excuses and me being dumped with it every week, and I resent it when so many don't work any weekend hours right now. I also suspect when colleague 3 returns to work she won't want to do Sundays as she'll have a baby.

Think along the lines of healthcare, although it isn't actually healthcare. The problem will most likely be that they've struggled to find someone again and they currently have someone who is available but won't do weekends. Possibly an internal candidate who knows we're struggling with cover right now and that there is room for them to push for no Sunday shift. I've been working Saturday mornings since I've been in this job and made it work after I had DD, despite most pushing for a change in their hours after having kids and being with a partner. I am not compromising on Sundays.

OP posts:

PUGaLUGS · 03/02/2017 21:58

I remember your first thread.

You cannot get childcare for a Sunday. Simple. Tell them.

ivykaty44 · 03/02/2017 22:03

No childcare for Sunday's so you are unable to work.

Still wonders what work like health care is that isn't healthcare

TheNewMrsGerardButler · 03/02/2017 22:05

So they're angling after you working every Sunday? Have I got that right (it's late, I'm heavily pregnant and exhausted :) )?

If that's correct, you'd be working every Saturday and Sunday when some people don't work any weekends at all? Fuck that! Think it's time to do some job hunting OP.

Chloe84 · 03/02/2017 22:05

YANBU. They seem to see you as a soft touch but it's great you're standing your ground.

Has your presumptious colleague offered to have your daughter on Sundays so that you can cover the shift?

Auspiciouspanda · 03/02/2017 22:08

No no no no no no no

And

Sprinklestar · 03/02/2017 22:10

Grow a backbone and say no. Why do you let your work treat you so badly? Why are you always the one to compromise? Seriously, say no and work on your self esteem. You don't need a group of strangers to tell you this isn't your problem and isn't at all fair.

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 03/02/2017 22:13

Hang on, so they want you working Saturdays and Sundays? And some of them don't do either?

Are you uniquely qualified for that?

Finola1step · 03/02/2017 22:14

Say No. If you are pushed for a reason, tell them that you can't afford to pay childminder double rates for Sunday childcare.

pinkunicornsarefluffy · 03/02/2017 22:14

Just say no it's impossible as you have no childcare.

Everyone has a right to family life, so enjoy your Sundays with your DC.

stella23 · 03/02/2017 22:15

Email your boss so it's on record and say the unfortunately you can not do the Sunday cover and this isn't a situation that you invisage changing.

EatTheChocolateTeapot · 03/02/2017 22:16

YANBU, but could bringing your kid to work be an option for occasional cover? Of course only if age of child and type of work are appropriate and you actually want to.

MillionToOneChances · 03/02/2017 22:16

Just no. Let someone who doesn't work Saturday take on the Sunday.

strawberrypenguin · 03/02/2017 22:17

Just say no. Finding childcare for a weekend is tough. You don't need to tell them anything but no though

Thattimeofyearagain · 03/02/2017 22:20

No is a complete sentence .

GlitterGlue · 03/02/2017 22:21

You already do more than most. You can't manage this and won't see your child. Not at all unreasonable to say no.

Your manager sounds a bit crap.

frankiedog · 03/02/2017 22:26

That's terrible and a horrible situation for an employer to put you in. Agree with the other threads, be firm but polite, 'I'm afraid that to be able to help you out in this instance as I have already covered other shifts that my colleagues were unwilling to do/ unable to do, and if I do I will be compromising my own life/ work balance, by spending even less time with my child.

Do not , do not use the word sorry !!

Sounds to me like they are unwilling to employ more staff to cover the shifts that need cover and it is totally unacceptable that IF you did work on a Sunday that they could not even guarantee when you would be 'off' in lieu of this shift.

Why are the other colleagues putting pressure on you ? Because if you say yes, which it sounds to me like you possibly do, probably more than you should; it gets them off the hook from doing this shift.

Unacceptable on all levels, be firm, polite, and if your colleagues say anything, look them in the eye and say ' if it's that important to you why don't you volunteer for it ?' That'll shut them up !

empirerecordsrocked · 03/02/2017 22:27

No childcare for Sunday. Simple. Someone else can pick it up, it's up to your boss to sort it.

EweAreHere · 03/02/2017 22:30

Just say No.

You know if you say yes they will mysteriously fail to find another solution. Ever.

Just say no. You already work half days on Saturday. You are a single parent. You have a child to see and care for.

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