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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think work are taking the piss now

237 replies

DelphineCormier · 03/02/2017 21:32

Posted another thread a few weeks ago and don't really want to go into all that again, but brief summary, my boss tried to cancel my booked holiday two days in advance because colleague 1 had been forced to take early maternity leave unexpectedly. Couldn't persuade anyone else to cover the shift so told me I would have to cancel my holiday booked for that day as my cover was needed to cover colleague 1. I had worked xmas day on the basis I would get this day off, eventual outcome was colleague 2 was persuaded to cover my shift. Maternity cover for colleague 1 eventually started a week later, boss had struggled finding cover.

Colleague 3 is also pregnant, and has just put in a request to start early maternity leave. Boss is freaking out slightly over this as colleague 3 had said she would start maternity leave much later iyswim, colleague 1 was early but not this early. Cover has been found, but will not do weekend shifts. I have been 'asked' if I will take on colleague 3's Sunday shift until an alternative solution is found. I am allowed to say no, although colleague 3 and other colleagues are putting a lot of pressure on me to do this.

I already work Saturday mornings and am a single parent. Not left with a lot of time when I would actually see my child if I were also working Sundays! I would get another half day off during the week but no guarantee what hours this will be. Childcare on Sundays would be an absolute nightmare. No one else works both days at the weekend, and lots don't work weekends at all. AIBU to tell them to ask pressurise someone else?

OP posts:
EweAreHere · 03/02/2017 22:31

Ask the pregnant Colleague 3 why her impending baby's needs are more important than your young child's needs. Because they're equally important, and you're not giving up your time with your child.

sobeyondthehills · 03/02/2017 22:33

I am not sure if it still exists, but we had an opt out of sundays form. Its only for retail and betting staff. If you work in either of those, ask to sign it

pluck · 03/02/2017 22:44

Pharmacy? Doesn't sound like a very suitable place to bring-a-child-to-work!

I remember your earlier thread, and really hope you get another job soon so you can dump your spineless managers in the trouble they've created for themselves, with their inability to manage! Even though they don't care about you, they are so short sighted for alienating the only person (at the moment) who saves them the weekend aggro!

Original poster
DelphineCormier · 03/02/2017 22:47

It's like healthcare in that we have to be open 365 days a year. They want me to cover Sundays for the foreseeable future as well as my usual full time including Saturday mornings, with a half day off during the week but they can't guarantee this will be at a time when my DD is actually off school. They know I'm a single parent. It's not an environment in which it's appropriate for me to bring her in with me, but even if it was I'm not having her spending every Sunday waiting around for me while others have both days off with their kids/partners at home who could have their kids one weekend day while they work.

Colleague 2 has not offered to have her Chloe, I think she was more than happy to offer it up as a one off but I don't think structuring her Sunday around having her every week was part of the plan! Although she has made clear that she will not do Sundays. Her DH is also off both days at the weekend Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
DelphineCormier · 03/02/2017 22:52

Just to reiterate, I absolutely will be telling them again tomorrow that no I can't do it. I told them that today but was told to think about it overnight. I am more worried about the pressure pregnant colleague is already putting on me to do it so she can take her early leave.

OP posts:
DJBaggySmalls · 03/02/2017 23:00

Other peoples problems arent your fault. If you claim Tax Credits because you are a parent or disabled, you cant do it and they aren't supposed to try to persuade you.
Its discrimination.
Talk to ACAS; they will have to get agency staff.

Sprinklestar · 03/02/2017 23:01

I'd be tempted to call in sick with stress this week due to all the pressure they've been piling on...

CookieLady · 03/02/2017 23:05

Angry on your behalf. Do not cave. Flowers

TheAntiBoop · 03/02/2017 23:08

Given the way you were treated I think you need to be very firm 'I can't and I wont'

I know you worry about your job but you can change their presumption that you are a pushover. Just No and keep repeating. They will stop picking on you once they know it won't work.

It's totally inappropriate that your colleagues are pressurising you as well.
Good luck!!

IMissGrannyW · 03/02/2017 23:11

I think you could be totally straight with them:

Yes, I could, theoretically work these shifts for you, but I'd need to be paid X amount over my current wage, because (if I can even find that childminder) the care for a Sunday would be very expensive and I'd also need time off during the week when I can see my child.

If you could accommodate that, then I'd be willing to help you out with your weekend shifts.

Otherwise, sorry, can't help (but without the word 'sorry'. A PP was right!)

bellie710 · 03/02/2017 23:11

Does that then mean you are working 7 days a week with half a day off?

Original poster
DelphineCormier · 03/02/2017 23:16

At the moment, I work 4 full days during the week, one morning in during the week and Saturday mornings. Have done since long before I had DD. Boss wants me to add Sundays, and in exchange I will be given another half day off during the week. What I suspect they will do is make my current half day during the week into a full day, as they obviously can't have me working 7 days a week. Potentially also make another weekday into reduced hours depending on the hours they want me to do Sunday. Which makes absolutely no difference to how I feel about doing that because DD will obviously be at school.

OP posts:
Puzzledandpissedoff · 03/02/2017 23:17

They want me to cover Sundays for the foreseeable future

I'm sure they do, but wanting isn't getting Hmm I remember your previous thread very well, and am appalled that they so clearly see you as a soft touch whose "no" actually means "maybe" if they pile on enough pressure - as in "think about it overnight" when you'd already refused

In your position I'm afraid I'd stick to "no, that's not possible" and nothing else ... no complicated excuses, no painstaking explanations and certainly no apologies. just NO

Hopefully, one day, they'll realise you mean it and go off to bother someone else ...

TheAntiBoop · 03/02/2017 23:19

Don't say it's something you could do if the money is upped or any other suggestions it's even a vague possibility.

Just NO

TreeTop7 · 03/02/2017 23:24

Definitely a firm and final "no". Repeat as necessary, politely but unapologetically.

The boss needs to be standing up to the staff who are dictating what they will and won't do, not pressurising the one he sees as a soft target. Making tough calls is part of what he's paid for.

DropZoneOne · 03/02/2017 23:24

No need to give a reason. You don't want to work the shift, just like your other colleagues don't want to work the shift. Go in tomorrow, speak to boss, you've considered his proposal, your answer is no. No need to say sorry. No need to give a reason but if pushed say you value your precious family time and are not willing to compromise that.

If everyone else can lay down what hours they work, so can you.

If your colleagues say anything, tell them it's not up for negotiation.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 03/02/2017 23:25

I genuinely mean this well, but I also believe you're worrying too much about things which really aren't your problem. Sorting out cover for maternity leaves, organizing rotas and so on is management's affair and shouldn't be made yours - nothing wrong with being helpful where you can, but you've already gone way beyond what you should reasonably be expected to do, and maybe they've got used to this a bit too much?

As I said, the word you're looking for is "no"

bellie710 · 03/02/2017 23:53

That is ridiculous for them to even ask you that! Maternity leave doesn't just arrive there is quite a lot of time to work out cover for it even if it does start earlier than planned, that is not your problem if they have left it until the last minute, no way should you feel guilty or pressurised to saying you will do it!

EduCated · 04/02/2017 00:02

Agree an absolutely firm and unequivocal no. If you give an inch they really will take a mile. It is not possible for you, nor do you want to.

It's incredibly unfair of them to pressure you when there are other staff equally capable of working those hours.

EduCated · 04/02/2017 00:03

Agree an absolutely firm and unequivocal no. If you give an inch they really will take a mile. It is not possible for you, nor do you want to.

It's incredibly unfair of them to pressure you when there are other staff equally capable of working those hours.

Mistletoekids · 04/02/2017 00:04

Tell them no

girlelephant · 04/02/2017 00:13

I remember your last thread.

Absolutely say no to covering Sundays. Obviously if your contact allows and then add rota'd to do so occasionally you will need to cover. State that you do not have childcare so cannot offer.

I find your workplace culture bizarre that colleagues put pressure on each other to do shifts, especially to cover mat leave etc. Anywhere I have worked resourcing is a management issue and staff engage by asking for shift swaps only to cover denied holiday requests etc. Do not allow colleague to put pressure on you directly

FrogFairy · 04/02/2017 00:14

Don't enter into any discussions about money or time off in the week. Just tell them no you can't do it.

I remember your thread about working Christmas Day then they wanted you to work on your day of celebrations.

They are selfish pisstaking twatty bellends. I would seriously look for another job.

Stripyhoglets · 04/02/2017 00:22

Just say no. One of the others who get two weekend days off can do it. Stick.to your guns with this one.

MichaelSheensNextDW · 04/02/2017 00:24

Just say no, I'd love to help but it's not possible.

Anything further than that becomes:

"You have asked me that already, as you know, and I'm finding it difficult to understand why you think my answer might have changed?"

head tilt

Your 'manager' is a pisstaking exploitative coward and has a nasty habit of thinking he can offload his managerial responsibilities onto you. I agree with pp that you'd do well to find new job with a healthier culture.