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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think work are taking the piss now

237 replies

DelphineCormier · 03/02/2017 21:32

Posted another thread a few weeks ago and don't really want to go into all that again, but brief summary, my boss tried to cancel my booked holiday two days in advance because colleague 1 had been forced to take early maternity leave unexpectedly. Couldn't persuade anyone else to cover the shift so told me I would have to cancel my holiday booked for that day as my cover was needed to cover colleague 1. I had worked xmas day on the basis I would get this day off, eventual outcome was colleague 2 was persuaded to cover my shift. Maternity cover for colleague 1 eventually started a week later, boss had struggled finding cover.

Colleague 3 is also pregnant, and has just put in a request to start early maternity leave. Boss is freaking out slightly over this as colleague 3 had said she would start maternity leave much later iyswim, colleague 1 was early but not this early. Cover has been found, but will not do weekend shifts. I have been 'asked' if I will take on colleague 3's Sunday shift until an alternative solution is found. I am allowed to say no, although colleague 3 and other colleagues are putting a lot of pressure on me to do this.

I already work Saturday mornings and am a single parent. Not left with a lot of time when I would actually see my child if I were also working Sundays! I would get another half day off during the week but no guarantee what hours this will be. Childcare on Sundays would be an absolute nightmare. No one else works both days at the weekend, and lots don't work weekends at all. AIBU to tell them to ask pressurise someone else?

OP posts:
Megatherium · 04/02/2017 00:44

Why is it you who is first in line for these things? It seems to me obvious that the people who currently don't do weekends at all should be first choice.

MidniteScribbler · 04/02/2017 06:48

The progressions of your conversations need to go like this?

  1. "No, I am unable to work that day."
  1. "I have already told you that I am unable to work that day."
  1. "Once again, I am telling you that I cannot work that day."
  1. "I have repeatedly told you that I am unable to work on Sundays. Your continued asking of this is now being considered harassment and I will need to speak to HR about this."
  1. "Oh, go fuck yourselves, I have a new job."
Twopeapods · 04/02/2017 07:21

Stick to your guns.
If they try to persuade its occasional/short term still say no because they will absolutely not be.
Can't believe they are asking a mum who already works full time including a Saturday to cover it. Pisstaking!

Screwinthetuna · 04/02/2017 07:54

Firm no.

Why should your colleagues' unborn babies come before your child who is already here? Spending both weekend days away from therm is unfair, IMO

eddielizzard · 04/02/2017 08:00

they clearly see you as a soft touch. this is just not fair. if your job wasn't so important to you, i'd be tempted to put in a request to drop the saturday morning and work 5 full days a week instead just for the pleasure of the boss' face going white.

what arseholes. stick to your guns. is it time to start job hunting?

LittleBearPad · 04/02/2017 08:00

Say no and keep saying it.

Onthecouchagain · 04/02/2017 08:10

No, no, no, and NO.

hotcrossbun83 · 04/02/2017 08:12

Your pregnant colleague seems to think that cover has to be sorted before she can go on mat leave? That isn't the case, as long as she gives the required notice (I think 4 weeks?), then off she goes and doesn't look back. It shouldn't matter to her whether you've agreed to cover or not, it's the managers problem

peukpokicuzo · 04/02/2017 08:19

You absolutely must refuse. You need a full day off work with your kids every week. Would you consider Sundays instead of your current Saturday morning?

You are legally entitled to a 24 hour rest period in every 7 days. The pattern they are suggesting is illegal as you would only have 2 or 3 half days off in the week (maximum 19 hours off at a time perhaps) rather than a full 24.

Just say no.

insancerre · 04/02/2017 08:21

I'm a manager and I do the rotas and if I asked a member of staff to cover a shift and they agreed then I would know that it was possible for them to do it and I would expect them to be able to do it again
However, if they flatly refused and said no, then I would not expect them to do it and I would have to look for alternatives
i agree with everyone else
You need to say no
And keep saying no
Don't cave in and do the odd one

LittleBearPad · 04/02/2017 08:22

Say no and keep saying it.

Chinnygirl · 04/02/2017 08:23

So when should you see your DD then? Flat out refuse. Don't discuss it.

Inertia · 04/02/2017 08:30

Agree with everyone else. Just say no.

Pregnant colleague needs to put pressure on manager, not you.

It is the manager's responsibility to staff the workplace, not yours. You would not be letting anybody down, you are already playing your part by doing more weekend work than most colleagues.

The manager is taking advantage of your kind nature.

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/02/2017 08:39

I don't understand this at all. If no one wants to do the shift, those, who don't already work at the weekend should cover it on a rota'd basis. They really see you as the pushover and this needs to change.

goldsilverbronze · 04/02/2017 08:48

Let us know what happens OP.

Quartz2208 · 04/02/2017 08:48

It sounds like the assumption is you will do it and you hate saying no. Just say no you are a single parent who needs to spend time with her child

diddl · 04/02/2017 08:54

So if the cover that has been found won't do weekends, why should Op do more at the weekend than she already does?

JigglyTuff · 04/02/2017 08:58

I remember your other thread. You're a different religion from the rest of them aren't you? Do you think there's an element of racism in all this? You're certainly being made a bit of a scapegoat it seems.

Your manager sounds hopeless - how you can you run a 24/7 service when you've allowed most of the team to have the weekends off?

NoSquirrels · 04/02/2017 08:59

Presume you're in work now and saying no.

I would also be tempted to point out how differently all the staff are being treated (that you already work a weekend when no one else does) and that you are considering asking to be treated the same as others (no weekend shifts). You're a single parent, so you'd have a bloody good reason to request a variation. I cannot understand why all the weekends are not rotated, or people Emily loved specifically to work weekends. Your management sounds shit.

NoSquirrels · 04/02/2017 09:00

I'm not sure who Emily is, or who she loves... people employed to work weekends that should say!

ShelaghTurner · 04/02/2017 09:05

Haven't read the whole thread but I remember your other one. They were total arsewipes to you over your very important holiday. For that reason alone it would be a big fat no. You seem to be the one they always turn to while no consideration is ever given back. So tell them to get knotted.

Chloe84 · 04/02/2017 09:12

OP, are you happy going in 6 days a week, as you currently do, albeit 2 of those days are half days?

Do other colleagues go in 6 days per week?

I can't just can't fathom how they expect you be away from your child for most of the weekend.

Twinklyfaerieglade · 04/02/2017 09:26

Agree with all PPs you must say no. I remember your previous thread, where due to medical reasons your colleague had to start mat leave early. In that case you had to work over Christmas to cover and I told you legally you needed to.
This is totally different. Colleague 3 is making a request, manager can grant or deny it. You have no obligation to enable her request by changing your hours. Please don't it's not fair on your DC

Gazelda · 04/02/2017 09:27

"No, I am not able to work Sundays as that is my only day with my DD. Please stop asking, and please tell colleague 3 to stop pressuring me as it is starting to feel like harassment. The inequality of shift patterns is clearly unfair, and I am not prepared to continue to be the default compromise solution."

Fairenuff · 04/02/2017 09:28

Did you say that it's not actually possible because of childcare? I can't see how 'sleeping on it' can change that.

Just get it over with now, email back and say there is absolutely no possibility of childcare. You will be spending Sundays with your child.

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