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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think work are taking the piss now

237 replies

DelphineCormier · 03/02/2017 21:32

Posted another thread a few weeks ago and don't really want to go into all that again, but brief summary, my boss tried to cancel my booked holiday two days in advance because colleague 1 had been forced to take early maternity leave unexpectedly. Couldn't persuade anyone else to cover the shift so told me I would have to cancel my holiday booked for that day as my cover was needed to cover colleague 1. I had worked xmas day on the basis I would get this day off, eventual outcome was colleague 2 was persuaded to cover my shift. Maternity cover for colleague 1 eventually started a week later, boss had struggled finding cover.

Colleague 3 is also pregnant, and has just put in a request to start early maternity leave. Boss is freaking out slightly over this as colleague 3 had said she would start maternity leave much later iyswim, colleague 1 was early but not this early. Cover has been found, but will not do weekend shifts. I have been 'asked' if I will take on colleague 3's Sunday shift until an alternative solution is found. I am allowed to say no, although colleague 3 and other colleagues are putting a lot of pressure on me to do this.

I already work Saturday mornings and am a single parent. Not left with a lot of time when I would actually see my child if I were also working Sundays! I would get another half day off during the week but no guarantee what hours this will be. Childcare on Sundays would be an absolute nightmare. No one else works both days at the weekend, and lots don't work weekends at all. AIBU to tell them to ask pressurise someone else?

OP posts:
Tiredmumno1 · 06/02/2017 01:19

Wow, I cannot believe how rude she sounds, I hope she does get in some sort of trouble for sending you such horrid messages. Just unbelievable how some people act.

Don't you worry about it, just make your complaint, and carry on enjoying your Sundays with your dd Smile

Mummyoflittledragon · 06/02/2017 05:37

If they do Sunday shifts on a rota, I would argue not to be on it as you already do Saturday. Otherwise I would also be demanding my Saturdays on a rota.

Probably best off to find a new job.

DartmoorDoughnut · 06/02/2017 07:14

Wow she is really self centred isn't she Shock hope HR sort it out

peukpokicuzo · 06/02/2017 07:24

They can't force you onto a Sunday shift even on a rota especially as you already work 6 days (even though 2 of those are half days) and it us unacceptable and illegal to have no full day off.

If they try to force you onto a rota that gives you a full day off one weekday and requires saturday and Sunday rota spots that is a major change of employment conditions which requires them to consult and give fair warning and if you aren't able to take the job with the new conditions they can go through a formal redundancy process, making your old job redundant because that hours pattern doesn't exist any more, and paying you a nice fat redundancy cheque to help you as you find a less nightmarish employer.

insancerre · 06/02/2017 07:33

Good luck today
I hope it all gets sorted for you
Your work colleague sounds unhinged and entitled
I wonder if your manager is afraid of her?

Puzzledandpissedoff · 06/02/2017 09:26

So her argument now is that I can't relate and if I understood I would take her Sunday shift

It doesn't matter what her argument is - it wouldn't even matter if she'd behaved decently, but it certainly shouldn't now

FWIW I think you're right to make the formal complaint, and if they've got any sense at all they'll find a way to prevent her coming back

RebootYourEngine · 06/02/2017 09:34

Good for you for standing up to her. She sounds like a spoilt brat.

I would contact HR and your Union just to see whete you stand with rota'd sundays.

TheAntiBoop · 06/02/2017 10:42

It sounds like your colleagues have a real issue with the circumstances of you becoming a mother and the fact you are a single mother. Horrible for you - and you are doing the right thing by staying formal

Jaynebxl · 06/02/2017 10:48

Well done OP for sticking your ground. I hope today has gone ok with your ranty colleague.

Ewock · 06/02/2017 10:51

I have followed your thread and remember your thread about Christmas. I don't have anythi g to add advice wise as I would have said to contact hr which you already have. It is not your job to arrange cover for her. And your pregnancy has nothing to do with this at all. To be sending you emails which are ranty and personal is disgraceful behaviour, I hope that hr sort this out for you. You should not have to feel uncomfortable in your job. What she is doing is bullying. Hope today is ok x

pinkunicornsarefluffy · 06/02/2017 10:53

OP, I would definitely get advice from your union. Well done on forwarding all emails to HR. She should not be sending you abuse in this way, that is disgusting bullying behaviour. she needs to take it up with HR not with you. Pregnancy hormones obviously making her a little crazy.

you can also get advice from ACAS if you don't want to approach your union just yet.

I had SPD and had to stop working at 32 weeks. Work just had to deal with it.

HicDraconis · 06/02/2017 11:07

Hope today goes OK for you. I think I would have been signed off for a week or two of stress / sick leave if I were in your position! #3 needs dealing with, keep copies of the emails and I'd suggest a diary of anything verbal (no paper trail).

GrapesAreMyJam · 06/02/2017 11:15

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

paddypants13 · 06/02/2017 11:16

Just say no, don't apologise or explain yourself. Why on Earth have they taken on someone who won't do Sundays when it's part of the role?

The only solution I can suggest is that you do Sundays instead of Saturdays but I don't know what your childcare arrangements are.

Original poster
DelphineCormier · 06/02/2017 11:26

Seeing HR later. Colleague 3 wasn't actually working here when I took maternity leave, so I am going to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that someone has told her something along the lines of oh Delphine got to start her leave early at short notice and conveniently left out that it was short notice because I didn't know I was even going to be needing leave until a few weeks before I left. Not that that was stressful at all. I think this is very generous but I'm nice like that Hmm

Just to say it again, there is no amount of extra pay they can give me to get me to do Sundays.

Job hunting would be a hassle but it might be a hassle worth doing depending on outcome of this.

OP posts:
MrsJaniceBattersby · 06/02/2017 11:33

Good luck today OP

paddypants13 · 06/02/2017 11:35

All the best for today op. Stand your ground!

ENinthePWert · 06/02/2017 11:42

Best of luck OP. Stick to your guns and no apologising.

BabyHamster · 06/02/2017 11:58

Your colleague sounds unhinged. She is embarrassing herself with her terrible behaviour.

Well done for standing your ground and for forwarding the emails to HR.

As others have said, don't back down, don't apologise, and don't get drawn into sorting things out. This is management's problem to solve, not yours.

Auspiciouspanda · 06/02/2017 15:46

It just gets worse with your work!

EweAreHere · 06/02/2017 16:45

Checked my work email this evening. I've had another ranting email from her which got quite personal, so I will be making a formal complaint about her tomorrow morning. Not sure I even want to face her tomorrow in all honesty.

If she keeps behaving this way, I imagine you might never have to face her again as she'll be fired for her out of order behavior. Her harassment and abusive behaviour is giving them potential cause to terminate her; how does she not get that, especially if she's already been warned about it?

Stand firm, OP. Another poster is right. They can't make you work Sundays, it would be a change in your job description. You are perfectly entitled to want to keep a weekend day off so you can spend if with your child who is in school on weekdays.

Original poster
DelphineCormier · 06/02/2017 17:49

Quick update, need to go get DD, will be back later. Spoke to HR earlier, as did she. HR agree that they can't make me work Sundays without me agreeing to a new contract. Which I will not do. Colleague is going to be called in to see them again tomorrow. She has spent today telling anyone who will listen how unfair it is that special arrangements were made for colleague who left last month and for me to go on leave early but not the case for her. totally different situations. I think she's hoping if she keeps mentioning it someone will step up. No update on cover yet.

Just want to say thank you to you first for all your support with this and second for not judging me based on my own pregnancy. Very different from the experiences I had with that off the internet at the time Flowers

OP posts:
Berthatydfil · 06/02/2017 17:50

Good luck. I hope you got it resolved.
I can't see why your colleague's maternity cover is your problem to solve? They have employed someone to cover her role who specifically can't /doesn't want to cover those shifts so surely that's the issue? If they don't want to take those shifts then managers should have withdrawn the job offer surely ?
And if they don't want to /aren't able to work Sunday's why on earth should you? Why isn't the pregnant colleague bending managers ears about them employing somebody who won't work her shifts rather than emailing the OP?.

TheAntiBoop · 06/02/2017 18:03

I don't get why she wants to go so early. I worked as late as possible so I could have as much time off after the birth as possible

Did you talk to hr about her bullying you?

Puzzledandpissedoff · 06/02/2017 18:26

Delphine can I ask what their view was of the emails she's been flinging at you?