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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

..to prefer to be an expectant mother rather than a pregnant person?

181 replies

CatWithKittens · 30/01/2017 11:39

The BMA has advised doctors not to refer to an expectant mother but to a pregnant person. Leaving aside the obvious question as to whether somebody who is trans-gender and pregnant is not also going to be a mother, do other people think I am being unduly sensitive when I say, that if either term has to be used, I would still prefer to be referred to as an expectant mother (if we get round to DC6)?

OP posts:
formerbabe · 30/01/2017 11:40

Yanbu.... Although according to the tabloid press recently, men can get pregnant.

MsGameandWatch · 30/01/2017 11:41

YANBU. Not one bit and I would insist upon it in all my notes and medical professionals who were responsible for my care.

Manumission · 30/01/2017 11:41

YANBU

"Pregnant person" is fine to apply to intersex or trans individuals but as a label for women or large groups of patients it is bizarre.

ludog · 30/01/2017 11:42

I think perhaps we are finally realising that the emperor is, in fact, naked.

wettunwindee · 30/01/2017 11:43

@ CatWithKittens - why not pregnant mother?

I would insist upon it in all my notes and medical professionals who were responsible for my care

Yes, that's definitely the most important part of those highly trained medical professionals' jobs. Making sure that you approve of the terms they use in your notes. Not keeping you and the baby alive!

user1475253854 · 30/01/2017 11:44

YANBU

Manumission · 30/01/2017 11:45

Making patients feel comfortable IS quite an important part of midwifery, isn't it?

Otherwise music and candles specified in birth plans wouldn't happen.

I'd find constant gender neutral references while I was in labour quite jarring and distracting too.

onlyconnect · 30/01/2017 11:46

Did you hear Woman's Hour this morning? According to them the advice is about internal BMA protocol, not what doctors should call patients.

If this is true, it's hard not to be cynical about how the press has been reporting it and YABU.

nelipotter · 30/01/2017 11:46

Surely this is just part of more general shift in society to use neutral language? It's not necessarily a deep implicit statement about trans politics!

Manumission · 30/01/2017 11:48

That's not what the BMA's own document suggested only

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 30/01/2017 11:49

Me too, Manumission. Can imagine lying there with gritted teeth snarling "I'm a woman, ffs!" Followed, if feeling particularly enraged, by some coarsely expressed anatomical references.

fret2finger2 · 30/01/2017 11:49

pregnant person? No fucking way. Proud to be a mother-to-be and mother. If women who have transitioned to become a 'men' but are equipped with female reproductive organs and are expecting would like to be referred to as 'pregnant person' they are welcome to request this on an individual basis.

hashtag NO appeasing attention seeking trans minority at the cost of women's identities.

Manumission · 30/01/2017 11:50

Smile Quite Prawn.

formerbabe · 30/01/2017 11:51

Surely this is just part of more general shift in society to use neutral language?

Why do we need to use neutral language?

It's not necessarily a deep implicit statement about trans politics!

It is.

buckyou · 30/01/2017 11:51

I couldn't give a flying fuck tbh! 39 weeks and I couldn't give a shit how I'm referred to on my medical notes.

Cherylene · 30/01/2017 11:56

On woman's hour they said it is part of a wider programme of changing language to a supposed 'gender neutral' in an attempt to be 'inclusive', that is taking female related language away.

formerbabe · 30/01/2017 11:56

It's not necessarily a deep implicit statement about trans politics!

Sorry, I should have added...What I meant is that gender neutral language in general is a statement about trans politics...Not necessarily the referring to pregnant woman as pregnant people...I have no idea what the point of that it...Though I know I don't like it.

GahBuggerit · 30/01/2017 11:57

yanbu men cannot get pregnant so its pointless sayingvpregnant person, as we all know, a pregnant person is a female

im more concerned that medical professionals are needing biology reminders tbh

MrsMeeseeks · 30/01/2017 11:57

I would not be bothered in the slightest if someone referred to me as a 'pregnant person' rather than an 'expectant mother'. It makes no difference to me whatsoever. I can't imagine being offended by something so innocuous.

napmeistergeneral · 30/01/2017 11:59

Pregnant people? Fine - just tell me start we're calling the fathers to be inclusive? Any change there? Or is it only women who are expected to accept this sort of erasure through language?

MWM · 30/01/2017 11:59

Yanbu.

wettunwindee · 30/01/2017 12:00

Otherwise music and candles specified in birth plans wouldn't happen.

Do they? Supplied by the NHS?

The OP was talking about 'referring to' as opposed to addressing. I'd prefer to by [first name] if possible.

StillaChocoholic · 30/01/2017 12:00

Surely the easiest thing to do is make sure that the transgender person that is pregnant has this noted on their notes that they are transgender and would like male pronouns or whatever.

I still don't understand how you can feel you are male but still want to go through a pregnancy which is an inherently female thing. Especially with all the changes and hormones that come with pregnancy.

EveOnline2016 · 30/01/2017 12:02

I think it's a good term, after all a women may be a surrogate or plan to have the baby adopted once born.

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