..to prefer to be an expectant mother rather than a pregnant person?

[CatWithKittens]

The BMA has advised doctors not to refer to an expectant mother but to a pregnant person. Leaving aside the obvious question as to whether somebody who is trans-gender and pregnant is not also going to be a mother, do other people think I am being unduly sensitive when I say, that if either term has to be used, I would still prefer to be referred to as an expectant mother (if we get round to DC6)?

I'm not trying to catch you out, but lots of people have children via sperm donation. And also egg donation. Sometimes both!

I was always called by my first name. In fact it took me a while to change to my married name and this did seem to cause some confusion with some people. 'Ladies' would have got a from me and thankfully this never happened.

The NHS could refer to pregnant women as

• The knocked-up-one

• The up--duffed-non-man

• Homo gravida

pregnant woman, mum to be, name of mum because that is who she is. I wonder referring to pregnant women as pregnant person might affect post-natal depression? A pregnant woman is facing a huge transition to a changed identity after all.

Pregnant person is hugely undermining and offensive.

Isn't fathers in a delivery room known as a birthing partner.

of course we are discussing this whilst maternity services are being cut up and down the country and the NHS is being privatised small step by small step. But let's invest time and energy in appeasing trans men.

It is interesting that expressing, quite mildly, a preference for one term over the other, should lead to an accusation of having "a hissy fit". DH would certainly not recognise my post as being in that category of my range of expressions. Perhaps, CripsSandwiches, if the cap fits ....

Wondering how many trans men will transition once these procedures become privatised and no longer available on the NHS.

Homo gravida
Or should that be gravidus?
I've forgotten most of my Latin.

Isn't fathers in a delivery room known as a birthing partner.
But that term covers anyone who comes in with the expectant mother birthing person - friend, mother (Parent 1, thanks Elendon), partner.

It could be father and father but they would have to have a birth mother there or birth host.

It could also be mother and mother with one being the mother or also with a host mother or birth host.

My head hurts too Oleana

Birth host? That makes me literally shudder - makes me think of parasites and Alien.

I would go with partner, friend etc (and it was partner when I had my kids twenty years ago) because as the mother I am the patient and the one pregnancy is happening to, and what is important is the person's relationship to me and how they are supporting me, not their relationship to the baby.

A lot of this reminds me when I did some work about 10 years ago on LGB inclusivity in the NHS. The barriers people put up to using LGB inclusive language were ridiculous: people will be offended, we'll tie ourselves up in linguistic knots, it's dehumanising...etc etc.

Actually it's not that hard to not make assumptions, to think a little about what you say before you say it, to take your cues from the person in front of you.

Ah yes! so if your mother came into the birthing room would they be the pregnant person's parent only? I mean she can't be called mother, can she? No mother's allowed in the birthing room it is then! Only persons.

Maybe it was dehumanising. We can't make a judgement without examples.

Bubbins This isn't about LGB though, it's about the T.

Maybe it was dehumanising. We can't make a judgement without examples.

The basic principle we were trying to get people to follow was not assuming that a person had a partner of the opposite gender. That's it. I'd like to think that's a principle most people support even if it is still common for the assumption to be made.

It's actually about mothers during pregnancy and in the period after birth, and that's a protected characteristic.

fret2finger2
Wondering how many trans men will transition once these procedures become privatised and no longer available on the NHS.

They dont all transition now; they call it a female penis or male clitoris, I shit you not.

Bubbins, so not comparable to a pregnant woman at all then?