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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I not have posted this?

148 replies

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 15/01/2017 21:06

Had a great weekend... had really good news after a long time waiting for it, saw lots of friends we haven't seen in a while, my DD with Sen who we thought would never potty train actually went by herself!! And had a big family roast at my mums to celebrate the news.

I am not one to usually post a picture of my dinner... I think I put on a Christmas dinner picture and a stew burnt pot disaster in the past but it's rare, but I posted it saying what a great weekend, and nothing like a roast cooked by your mum... or words to that effect.

Then a friend of mine whos mum died several years ago sent an inbox saying 'I wouldn't know.'

Now I feel terrible... WIBU? Blush

OP posts:
gleam · 15/01/2017 21:07

No. She was.

Magicpaintbrush · 15/01/2017 21:08

No of course not, a perfectly innocent and reasonable comment to make, nothing wrong at all in what you said. Imho.

DMnamechanger · 15/01/2017 21:08

I would just send her a sincere and heartfelt reply (assuming that's how you feel!)

There was nothing wrong with posting it (your friend's mother hasn't only just died), but it would be nice to acknowledge your friend's sadness and say how much she must miss her mother.

Just my thoughts.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 15/01/2017 21:09

No you weren't unreasonable to post it. Does your friend always make everything about her or is this a one off?

PopGoesTheFuckingWeasel · 15/01/2017 21:09

Yanbu. If we made allowances for everyone we'd never post anything!

KatsutheClockworkOctopus · 15/01/2017 21:10

Yanbu.My mum died a while ago and I wouldn't have minded this picture at all - I would have been happy that you had a such a great time.

WorraLiberty · 15/01/2017 21:10

This happened on Mumsnet?

She was BU anyway and quite horrible to make you feel deliberately bad.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 15/01/2017 21:11

YANBU. I hate this crap. Yes its sad she lost her mum, but it happens to most people at some point. Some people are determined to take offence at nothing. Don't feel guilty and carry on celebrating your good news.

Original poster
MaryPoppinsPenguins · 15/01/2017 21:11

I sent back that I was sorry, and DD was on my iPad so asked for it back to remove the picture, and my mum & DH said to leave it and it's fine...

OP posts:
80schild · 15/01/2017 21:11

There is no law saying that you have to comment on FB - she didn't have to comment.

harderandharder2breathe · 15/01/2017 21:11

Yanbu, is it around the anniversary or something which would explain why she's so sensitive?

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 15/01/2017 21:12

She private messaged you to say that??

FFS.

Original poster
MaryPoppinsPenguins · 15/01/2017 21:12

Sorry no, not mumsnet. Facebook.

OP posts:
Original poster
MaryPoppinsPenguins · 15/01/2017 21:13

She did it via messenger...

OP posts:
ALemonyPea · 15/01/2017 21:13

You were fine to post it.

She might have been feeling down today, and seeing that made her feel sad, but please don't feel that is/was a personal attack on you. Bit crap of her to spoilt your joy like that.

gamerwidow · 15/01/2017 21:13

Your friend was being nasty and she knows it which is why she made a private rather than a public comment.

littlepeas · 15/01/2017 21:13

Ywnbu. I lost my dad last year, but I am able to accept that other people still have living fathers and they should be allowed to talk about them without worrying about upsetting me! Perhaps it is the anniversary of her mum's death or something, so she is feeling particularly fragile?

januarybooze · 15/01/2017 21:14

Yep she is being unreasonable.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 15/01/2017 21:14

Yeah, I presumed FB. But she sent you a private message? Is that the only thing she said? Confused

I wouldn't have apologised. Bit late to take it back now though. Grin

Cucucachoo · 15/01/2017 21:14

You can't be responsible for all the people who have lost parents/loved ones etc...
You shouldn't have to remove a happy memory because one person is upset, you're not responsible for everyone's feelings.
Friend was BU for the response

Eevee77 · 15/01/2017 21:14

Of course you weren't being unreasonable. Her loss is sad but you can't live your life punishing those who are happy.

cherrycrumblecustard · 15/01/2017 21:14

No, you did nothing wrong op and I wouldn't take it down.

I have a tiny amount of sympathy with your friend. One of my friends who is older than me put up a pic of her grandson and I commented saying what a lovely photo it was and she replied to say she loved being a grandma. Perfectly lovely chat, except it did make me sad my parents never experienced that and my children never knew that.

But that's about me, and her picture isn't about me

If you're feeling kind reply asking if she's okay x

Gymnopedies · 15/01/2017 21:14

YANBU, perhaps your friend is feeling low and she wanted a bit of attention/support and worded it a bit clumsily.

Highalert · 15/01/2017 21:15

Maybe she was having a bad day.

At least she inboxed you and didn't comment on your post

WineIsMyMainVice · 15/01/2017 21:15

Yanbu. She might just be having a bad day and missing her mum.

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