AIBU to ask how much you spend on activities?

[swlondonmumof2]

Going through our finances, and have worked out that we spend about £550 just on DD's extra curricular activities, including travel there as it involves trains/driving so petrol to some of them. she is a super active child and loves everything she does but it seems excessive. We've already stopped piano, which was £90 a month... She's nearly 8. I'm basically spending more than half my salary just on her activities.

She has a younger brother who doesn't do anything like the kind of stuff she does (too young) he does football which is about £50 a month. we don't have lots of money really, but DH is adamant that she is passionate about all the stuff she does and it's the best use of our money... Part of me thinks when we were kids there was no way we'd have had this much... But on the other hand, if we can give her these opportunities why not? Interested in opinions...

This is per month BTW.

That is ridiculous - a mortgage payment in most places.

No where near that much.

Dd1 - 8 - piano £15, football £10 (match plus train), cubs £5, acrobatics £5, swimming (free) = £35 per week

Dd2-6- beavers £5, swimming £5 = £10

I am the OP- just changed name. We are in London and everything seems to cost a fortune here.

Including instruments, we've spent £15k in the last 3 years, 4 mo just on music... (2 DC)

Fucking scary.

Just added it up and it's £160ish a month.

Martial arts _ £50 month.
Swimming - not sure. Maybe £5 per week.
Scouts_ £3 per week.
Music lessons at school _£75 per term.

The amounts you are talking about seem eye watering.

That is a crazy amount. Does she have any free time to play about the house?

DD1 - rainbows - £3, dance - £60, club - £1
DS - beavers - £4, dance - £60, rugby - £4
DD2 - dance - £30
So £162 a month for 3 children and I think it is too much for us.

What is with the obsession with activities to the point that people are spending the cost of a cheap car, monthly, on having their kids occupied every hour of every day?

Two children. Music lessons £126 per month, dance £32 per month, choir £16 per month.

I think KS2 age is the peak for the variety of extra curriculum activities. They seem to settle to one or two (or none) by secondary.

Does she really love everything? If so, and you can afford it, then why not?

Ridiculous for an eight year old. Plenty of free/cheap activities to take advantage of.
No idea what we spent over time but -
Swimming was reasonably cheap at local council leisure centre and they all reached bronze medallion level.
Music centre run by local authority was free violin/bassoon/flute/recorder/viola/cello lessons and orchestra. Bassoon and viola were provided as shortage instruments. Made county youth orchestra through this.
Rugger at local club was £50 per year per child. One now plays at semi professional level for army.
Fencing was about £2.50 per child per week with equipment supplied initially. Managed national level competitions.
Ballet was more. Not huge amount until grade 6/7 level with outreach fees for Royal Ballet and eight hours a week training.
You can spend as much or as little as you can afford/want. Lots of early investment will undoubtedly show some sort of talent - all six of mine were told they had 'exceptional talents'. Sadly, as they get higher up you realise that there are many others who also have exceptional talent and they are less special than you thought. Plenty of kids with grade 8 distinctions on musical instruments. Lots of girls with grade 8 distinction ballet and good enough to train with RBS.

That's like £125 a wk or £20ish a day. What the heck is she doing to cost so much?

I was going to mention about having free time- yes she does, but I do wonder if it's enough. So, she does a couple of after school clubs a week for an hour which are cheap, brownies, and then the 3 big things are gymnastics, diving and a dance/drama/singing combination. She has 2 days a week with no activities at all and then she comes home and just plays/bit of TV etc.

I swore I'd never be that parent who scheduled their child into so many activities but she genuinely loves them all. Even if I say cut out the after school clubs and brownies I'd barely save any £ as it's the other 3 that are expensive.

Trifle- I want my children to find their passion in life. It's not about occupying them, it's about exposing them to as many experiences as possible so they find things they like.
DD (11) is an extrovert, she gets a kick from spending time in groups of people, and she lives in a household of introverts, poor child!

£440 a year ballet /rainbows/two free kids clubs and one free youth club.
Plus ballet exams, dance wear , shoes , costumes show tickets maybe an extra £160 so approx £600 annually or £50 a month.

Should mention that she is in a squad group for gymnastics and 'talent identified' (I'm under no illusions that she's the next big diver!) diving program. She absolutely loves sport and I'm keen to encourage that.

That's a crazy amount if half your salary!
Boxing £3 a week
Gymnastics - £6 a week
Circus school - £10 a week

At the most? Maybe about 359-400 a month for each child. Things have tailed off at the moment so less.

I think it is too much personally, but if you can afford it and she is happy, then why not?

Personally, we only spend £25 a month on swimming lessons for our DD. She wants to do tae-kwon-do, but I would prefer to only pay for one activity at a time, so she can do that in a few months.

Bambambini that makes me feel better! How many kids do you have and what do they do?

Minnymoobear I wish gymnastics was £6 a week here!!

I pay £185pm for dd and ds2

Dd - gymnastics (squad & rec) Twice a week and cheerleading (squad) also twice a week.

Ds2 - gymnastics (Rec) twice a week and trampolining (Rex) once a week.

It's a lot of money for us but they love it and I want them to have opportunities that I never got as a child, I also want to encourage a sporty/healthy lifestyle where exercise is the norm when they are young adults and not a fad like when I was a young teen/adult.

I also don't want them to be overweight like me and their dad as adults.

I have 3 children and we spend a fair amount but nowhere near as much as you!

DD1 (9) - £7.50 per week (term time) for violin, £75 per term for swimming, £35 per term for Brownies (approx £50 a month in total)
DD2 (7) - £7.50 per week (term time) for piano, £75 per term for swimming, £35 per term (starting soon) for Brownies (approx £50 a month in total)
DS (5) - £50 per term for rugby, £75 per term for swimming (approx £32 a month in total)

They used to do horse riding fortnightly but my new job means I am unable to take them after school anymore. Once I get settled down I might start taking them again at weekends. That will be £90 per month (in total).

So, at the moment we spend roughly £132 a month on ALL THREE of our children. If we add horse riding and an instrument for DS into the mix in a few months time then that would still only be approx £240 a month for ALL THREE.

You are spending an insane amount of money on your child!! I absolutely don't begrudge spending money on life skills such as swimming or learning an instrument but for something they are going to be not carrying on then I would begrudge it.

Bet the moms on Dance Moms are glad they spent so much!

Ds 9yrs
Swimming activity 2hrs! £4.50

Swimming activity £3.50

Swimming lesson, football session and p.e type lesson £8

Cubs £3

Piano £15

Ds 6
Swimming lesson, football session and p.e type lesson £8

Beavers £3

Football £5

That's ludicrous for one 7 yr old.

Football is £15 pm
Scouts is £10pm
Even 1:1 piano tuition I'm paying £36pm (I realise that is cheaper than most would be able to find)

£550 is a ridiculous amount if - as you say - you are on an ordinary salary.