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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask how much you spend on activities?

177 replies

swlondonmumof2 · 05/01/2017 23:05

Going through our finances, and have worked out that we spend about £550 just on DD's extra curricular activities, including travel there as it involves trains/driving so petrol to some of them. Shock she is a super active child and loves everything she does but it seems excessive. We've already stopped piano, which was £90 a month... She's nearly 8. I'm basically spending more than half my salary just on her activities.

She has a younger brother who doesn't do anything like the kind of stuff she does (too young) he does football which is about £50 a month. we don't have lots of money really, but DH is adamant that she is passionate about all the stuff she does and it's the best use of our money... Part of me thinks when we were kids there was no way we'd have had this much... But on the other hand, if we can give her these opportunities why not? Interested in opinions...

OP posts:
BIgBagofJelly · 06/01/2017 09:01

It does sound excessive especially since from what you say you're not millionaires that have £500 to throw around as loose change. Is she really passionate about these particular activities? Or will she just drop them when she gets older anyway? Surely there are cheaper options for her? If she loves music for example I do think learning an instrument is a great gift but this cost doesn't sound sustainable. When your DS gets older he might want to do more and surely you can't afford £1000 PM!

Pinotwoman82 · 06/01/2017 09:09

DS 1 has football every week which was a fee upfront of about £100.
He also has academy football which has been about £100 for 15 weeks

DS 2 has Football which is about £40 each term

They also have swimming

DS 3 doesn't have anything at the moment as he has only just turned 4.
They also do a parkrun which is free

LittleReindeerwithcloggson · 06/01/2017 09:25

Another 7 year old here:
Tennis £180 a month (2 squads, I private and 1 hitting session a week plus monthly tournaments)
Squad gymnastics £70 a month
Swimming £25 month
Ice skating £40 a month
Brownies £12 a month
2 free school clubs
Musical instrument £20 month

We need to cut down!

MycatsaPirate · 06/01/2017 09:27

DD2 is 11.

Swimming is £80 a term so £240 a year (add on payments for certficates, badges and swimming galas)

Sea Rangers is £40 a term so £120 a year. Another £200 odd on trips with this.

Martial Arts - £46 a term so £138 a year plus gradings @ £10 a time.

Total of £800 a year roughly. £15 a week.

DailyFail1 · 06/01/2017 09:32

My dd is 8 too and I spend-

£50/mth on violin. 50/mth on piano
100/mth on Spanish lessons. 100/mth on German lessons.

Total 300 ish

She swims well and wants to join the local olympic level swim club - fees will prob be £100 when you add mine and dh's names for poolside.

Newtssuitcase · 06/01/2017 09:36

Why is she doing LAMDA at that age? (particularly at that cost!)

DS1 acts and has been in various TV things and very nearly got a major movie role over the summer. DSis is Head of drama at a very good school. When I asked her whether Lamda was a worthwhile thing for DS1 (11 nearly 12) to do her view was that it's pretty pointless at that age.

Ds1 does piano at £12 a week and swimming at £3.50 x 2 per week
DS2 does swimming at £3.50 x 2 per week

They both go to an independent school though with lots of extra curricular stuff going on.

MiaowTheCat · 06/01/2017 09:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CurlsandCurves · 06/01/2017 09:59

2 boys aged 7 and 11:
Beavers/scouts is £64 per term for both of them. But on top of that scouts do a lot of camps, this weekend is costing £65.
Rugby is £60 per year for both of them.
DS 2 still has swimming lessons which are about £4.50 a week
DS 1 plays volleyball which is £3.75 a week.

early30smum · 06/01/2017 10:02

Thanks for all the replies. Very interesting and I see that there are some of you who are spending similar amounts.

Re gymnastics- the club lessons themselves are not ridiculous I don't think- it's about £65/70 per month for 2.5 hrs a week. Skill wise she's nowhere near the level one poster described- she can do a round off flick on floor and is learning upstart (kip) on bar as an idea. It's the private lesson once a week with another child that bumps up the cost but she absolutely loves it and if pushed she would honestly give up everything else and just do gymnastics.

Tbh I don't want her to give everything else up and just do gymnastics as she already practices as much as she can, and I know if she didn't do anything else it would completely take over her life! Diving and gym go pretty hand in hand so it makes sense (for now) to do both.

Re LAMDA she hasn't done it before- she starts next week and it will be her first one. But we could definitely look at dropping that after grade 1 until she's older.

We are certainly not massively well off but for now we can (just about) afford it and grandparents do help out with money for lessons instead of birthday presents etc sometimes.

I agree that as she gets older she will probably focus more on one or two things.

early30smum · 06/01/2017 10:03

Should also add that she is at an (excellent) state primary but we are hoping to do independent secondary if we can stretch to it.

Yoarchie · 06/01/2017 10:05

Really depends on where you live re costs.

My 8yo does swimming, tennis, piano. Swimming is super cheap (got v lucky there), tennis is moderate, piano is really expensive.

allowlsthinkalot · 06/01/2017 10:59

Dd only does Brownies

Ds only does a martial art (£4 a week plus annual membership).

DD2 does dance at a community centre (2.50 a week)

I want them to have time to play, and self-directed time. Every day ideally. All those activities wonderful if they ate home ed but if they've been in school all day?

Playing an instrument is fab if you can afford it though.

Snowflakes1122 · 06/01/2017 11:07

£90 a month for two primary aged kids.
DC 1 has 3 activities
DC 2 has 2.

Snowflakes1122 · 06/01/2017 11:10

Actually just recalculated that and it's £130 Shock

Bumpsadaisie · 06/01/2017 11:25

DD(7) £20 a week music lessons so £80 per mth, £7 a week swimming so £35 a mth.

DS (5) one to one swimming £12 a week so abt £50 a mth.

Altogether roundabout £160 p.m.

I could see that you could spend the amount you do if you had two older musicians doing upper grades on two instruments each with four hours of music lessons a week needed (shudders contemplating this prospect, that would be £160 a week!).

But otherwise it does look excessive, sorry!

HarryPottersMagicWand · 06/01/2017 11:27

Why on earth have you let her start a new thing when she already had diving and gymnastics at the level she does! It sounds like you are asking what others pay so you feel more validated in what you are paying out, which is a ludicrous amount unless you are very wealthy.

We pay:-
DS Diving £22.05 per month
Karate £26.50 per month (plus gradings as and when)
Football £20 per month

After school club, free

DD Swimming about £20 per month
Karate £25.50 per month (plus gradings as and when)
Dance at school £15 per half term.

About £114 per month for 2 children, which is plenty. Plus I don't think it's fair to have to drag the other child along to each others activities all the time.

sailorcherries · 06/01/2017 11:31

DS has taekwondo and gymnastics, roughly £60 a month for fees. Perhaps 2-3 taekwondo suits a year will be another £90 and maybe one grading a year is another £30.
Petrol maybe £10 a month as both are very local.

Less than £100 per month for everything.

However, if he has the opportunity to go to more than one gymnastics class it will increase. He has also spoken about sparring in taekwondo which would be an additional £40ish a month.

tinyterrors · 06/01/2017 11:31

Over £500 a month for a 7 year old is insane. That said if you can afford it then fine.

The question I'd be asking is can you afford over £1000 a month for your youngest to also do the same activities? One of my dc's has a friend who is desperate to do football and rugby but can't because his parents can't afford it as they're already paying £££ for his sister to do gymnastics, dance and cheerleading.

Fwiw I spend £20 a month on beavers/cubs for 3 dcs, plus another £250 a year for camps/trips between them.

They do an after school club each term which is free and that's it.

They'd love to do dance/gym/football/rugby but, while we could just about afford it for one, there's no way we could afford it for all of them so they can't. If we can't afford something for all the dcs then none of them have it.

AppleAndBlackberry · 06/01/2017 11:45

About £220 a month for DD1 (2 sports, an instrument, a language and drama) and £100 for DD2 (no instrument or drama). I thought this was high! DD2 is 2 years younger but will have the same opportunities as DD1 when she reaches the appropriate age.

JBJ · 06/01/2017 11:58

Ds does scouts which averages about £20 a term, plus probably £10 a month on trips etc. He has a guitar lesson each week which his dad pays for and used to do football which was £15 a month, until they booted him off the team 😡

nocampinghere · 06/01/2017 12:08

if she's really good at gymnastics and loves it then focus on that, plus her diving (they are often twinned ime).

she doesn't need to do drama/singing/dancing on top and definitely not lamda.

the money is one thing - but actually the time and effort (your's and her's) is too much as she goes through juniors. she won't be able to keep it all up anyway.

Newtssuitcase · 06/01/2017 12:10

To those paying for extra curricular language lessons I would also say that it is worth finding out the school policy on language teaching and streaming.

One of the reasons that we sent the DC to private school was the fact that they've done french and spanish since reception.

DS1 started in the senior school (same school) this year. I was quite shocked to find that all of the children are in classes together for languages. This means that although Ds1 and all the other children who went to the prep have done seven years of both french and spanish, they are still in a class with children who have never done any at all. As a result they're starting from scratch again and covering stuff they did ages ago with the result that there's no real benefit to them having had years of language lessons. They'll find the lessons easier of course but that's all.

If you're stumping up cash specifically for this then I'd do a bit of investigation work to ascertain whether it will give them any real advantage.

user1483698419 · 06/01/2017 12:16

We send £0. I never went to any after school clubs growing up and it never did me any harm. I'm not sure I see any point int them. If he shows an interest in anything as he gets older we will encourage it. But for now I enjoy spending the extra money on things we do as a family.

5FootMama · 06/01/2017 12:25

DD1 - Guides £25 a term, is in 2 free school clubs (Art, Netball)
DS2 - Cubs £25 a term, one free school club (Football)

Nothing else - as those groups cover lots of different things.

5FootMama · 06/01/2017 12:27

Also, there's just no need for kids to have a bazillion activities each week. I don't do that much after work. I just go to my book club on a Wednesday and do a lunch club (colouring) at work on a Monday.