AIBU to ask how much you spend on activities?

[swlondonmumof2]

Going through our finances, and have worked out that we spend about £550 just on DD's extra curricular activities, including travel there as it involves trains/driving so petrol to some of them. she is a super active child and loves everything she does but it seems excessive. We've already stopped piano, which was £90 a month... She's nearly 8. I'm basically spending more than half my salary just on her activities.

She has a younger brother who doesn't do anything like the kind of stuff she does (too young) he does football which is about £50 a month. we don't have lots of money really, but DH is adamant that she is passionate about all the stuff she does and it's the best use of our money... Part of me thinks when we were kids there was no way we'd have had this much... But on the other hand, if we can give her these opportunities why not? Interested in opinions...

Oh, actually, I forgot to factor in music exams and ensembles

Add another £100 a year for each of the girls for those!

It completely depends on what you can afford and what is practical to your lifestyle and all kids are different. Some would HATE that kind of structure, my DD absolutely craved it and still does (age 15). We've done a gazillion things. Back when she was 8 she did loads of stuff, and she's gradually chosen to cut things down, but all of them gave her something, and I don't regret any of them. Even the hockey which she only did for a season but we still had to buy the stick and the gum shields. Not even the violin (which was via the council, so subsidised) with the vile squawking which was all she achieved, despite getting to grade 4 or something.

My daughter can read music. That's a skill I don't have.

But what's key is that we could afford it and she wanted it all. And being an only child, she doesn't have a sibling to share her childhood with, so friends are very, very important to her (not saying friends aren't important to other children too!)

Obvs, if it was a choice between the gas bill and a club, the club would go.

Thanks. I do understand all who say it's insane. I do have a very ordinary job and salary (I work 3 days a week) but DH earns a good amount- not crazy money but good. And we have parents who have given £ for their grandchildren's activities from time to time so it's not ALL come from us... She genuinely does love all she does and I do want to encourage a healthy/physically active lifestyle.

DD1 £100 ( swimming and pony club)
DD2 £100 (gymnastic and cheer leading)
Plus clothing costs and travel/hotels for competions 🙈
Time and petrol money spent getting to and from activities.
At least school is 'free' 😁.

Dd1 Music lessons (x2 instruments) £19 pw / swimming £10 pw / brownies £2 pw/ drama club £8 pw

Dd2 music lessons (X1 instrument) £9 pw / swimming £7 pw / brownies £2 pw / drama club £8 pw / maths club £11 pw / gymnastics £8 pw

Dd3 currently no activities as still at pre-school.

Everything they do, they are really committed to, OP and neither one of them could chose which to give up if they had to. By the time DD3 is ready to start something, eldest DD will be at secondary school where there is loads more on offer within school- lunchtimes & afterschool.

I spend less than half that a month on activities for 2 kids and I thought they did quite a lot. That includes weekly 1-1 swimming tuition for my child with sn as well. I'd be interested to know what your dd does that costs so much.

Just read your update. If you were wanting to cut back I'd keep the Brownies and the drama/dance etc unless she's particularly talented in/loves the others.

To those that ask what she does that costs so
much:

2 x afterschool clubs £30 a month (so actually not that cheap!)
Brownies £7 a month approx
Gymnastics £165 a month
Diving £55 a month
Drama/Singing/dancing combo £110 a month this is 3 hrs a week
LAMDA exam lessons for drama £165 for 6 sessions so about £90 a month

The rest is on travel to gymnastics as it's not local.

Bumsexatthebingo: of all of them, gymnastics is her favourite and she is v good. Never going to be an Olympian (!) or GB level but she has a chance (not a big one but a chance) at club/regional level. Diving she also absolutely loves and is 'talent identified' probably because they look at their gymnastics...

Early

2 kids. Mostly tennis. Bloody expensive sport at about 30 odd quid for a one to one. Little kids can be playing up to 4-5 times a week. Do not take up tennis seriously unless you are prepared to pay big bucks! It's crazy.

Plus other stuff like swimming, football, tuition, music lessons. Other stuff they've dabbled in.

It's got cheaper now they're older and not so much tennis.

That's a lot for the gymnastics. I'm
Wondering if it is just a regional thing as dd (7) is on the elite pathway for gymnastics yet we pay less than £80 per month for 9 hours a week with the head coach...
I'd choose to prioritise gym or diving in your case. Probably diving as if she has been talent identified there but "only" club or regional for gym then she has more future at diving? Then you could downgrade the gym to recreational and save travel expenses too?

DD weekly - private riding lesson €30
Group jumping lesson €25
Tae Kwondo €07
Fiddle €10

Bambambini axtually I'm forgetting she does tennis in the summer term too!! But yes I won't make any plans to up that then!!

Isadora- £90 of that is on semi private lessons. She does 2.5 hrs a week of club gym and an hour a week lesson with another child. She is not on the elite pathway for gym but honestly I've never seen such enthusiasm for anything before. The club is outstanding and she and I love it so am willing to do it but I get what you mean. Her gymnastics teacher at school said she was too good for the local clubs (not being boastful just saying!) even the rec classes at her club are pretty amazing! She's in the sort of middle ground of not elite squad not Rec. She'd be devastated if I said we couldn't go to her club any more. Tbh she'd probably give up diving if pushed to give up something but she does say she loves that also! I'm not sure talent identified means that much really?!

My youngest two do

DD2. (17)
Driving lesson £22
Gym £30
Riding £13
Youth theatre £5

DS2. (10)
Football £5
Cubs £4
DS also does loads of clubs after school, either free or cheap.

So DS costs me about £40 a month and DD2 costs about £300, plus £80 pocket money . Oh well, at least her uni expenses won't come as a big financial extra hit.

Ds is 4 and doesn't want to do activities at the moment, but the 6 yr old does:
-Riding: £90 P/m
-Beavers: £10p/m
-Swimming: £20p/m
-Dance: £20 P/m

• She's thinking about gym, which will be another £20 P/m

We never wanted her to do too many things, but as she is home edded we feel it is important that she gets out and about. The swimming doesn't count as it is a non negotiable really.

Dd aged 9 does brownies £2 pw plus extra for trips/activities, say £10 pm
Swimming lessons £3.50 pw
Horse riding once a month £18

She did do gym but gave it up.

Son aged 9 £1pw Boys Brigade, bargain as it's an hour and a half and they get fed.
£20pw tutor

Baby aged 1 and half toddlers £1.50pw which includes a small meal and a cuppa and biscuit for me

Messy play £5 inc large snack, cuppa for me and two hours soft play.

I think if your DC is very good/committed to an activity you can end up spending lots of it as they end up spending more time on it and you have to factor in cost of travel/competitions/clothes. OP's DD is currently doing 3 main activities that all have the potential to get expensive- I suspect in a year or so she will start to focus and costs will come down.

DS does martial arts at a high level and we must spend about £150 a month or more on that. DS and DD both have music lessons which are not cheap unless subsidised at school (and you have exam costs too). Swimming lessons also not cheap but they tend to be for a few years to get your child to certain level.

£550 sounds a lot for one child if it's such a high proportion of your income.

I would look at finding a new gym club to be honest, you are paying way to much. My dd is in a squad group goes 16 hours per week four 4 hour sessions and we pay £100 per month. I don't know your daughters level but my dd skill level is quite good she can do a full twisting back layout on floor (tuck & pike also), up start cast to handstand on bars and can do giants on strap bar, her dismount is fly away (lay out position). Back flick on beam and roundoff back tuck dismount and I'm not sure about vault.

Dd is 9 so a bit older than your dd.

Dd (8) does Brownies £3 p/w, swimming lessons £4 p/w and dancing is £3.50 p/w. Dancing has other costs for pumps, kilts etc.

Ds is turning 5 next week and will then be able to join lots of activities so I'm expecting a big hike.

For me it would be more about the time and logistics than the money.

I find ferrying around for the activities a strain especially on a school night in the winter. Also it impacts on everyone in the family e.g. when I take dd to an activity the other dc have to come too and it's a drag when everyone is tired.

I know someone who took their boys to swimming practice before work every morning for years and also competitions on the weekends all over the country. It took over their lives. I could never understand it myself but I think the whole family got a lot out of it socially.

I have friends whose dc do dance/ballet and they spend a fortune on costumes for shows and they are never worn again. Depends how much the child gets out of it I suppose. In your case I think I would cut back on at least one thing.

DD costs me £250 a month for dancing, including new dance shoes every 6 weeks.

A lot of these amounts are more than our mortgage.
DC1does running for free and gym she pays for herself, volunteering which is free
Dc2does swimming at school for free and scouts which is £20 a term plus any camps, volunteering for free and youth club £1 a week
DC3 does football £1 a week, choir free at school and is about to join Beavers £20 a term and swimming lessons £17 a month
DC4 football £1 a week and also is due to start swimming lessons.