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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have offered to held this baby?

156 replies

DontGoRihannonStay · 31/12/2016 00:53

Dh and I visited a local Italian restaurant for dinner tonight. Couple
In with a young baby (about 3/4 months I think)
Baby started crying then mum started crying, seemed embarrassed. I offered to walk about with baby an managed to get her back to sleep while parents finished their meal.
Dh said I was embarrassing and now I am worried they thought I was weird!

OP posts:
chitofftheshovel · 31/12/2016 00:55

Bless you.

AndNowItsSeven · 31/12/2016 00:56

No , that's a lovely thing to do.

Eevee77 · 31/12/2016 00:56

They agreed. If they thought you were weird i doubt they'd have let you hold their baby. That was very nice of you and your OH is weird.

Threesoundslikealot · 31/12/2016 00:56

You are the sort of lovely person that made my day when I had small babies.

RichardBucket · 31/12/2016 00:57

Impossible to say without being there and seeing how it was offered and received. I wouldn't do this because it'd be implying the parents couldn't look after their own child.

And I wouldn't walk a crying baby around a restaurant; I'd take her out until she calmed down.

I don't know, odd all around. If your husband was embarrassed then maybe it was embarrassing.

MrsJayy · 31/12/2016 00:58

Och that is lovely no it was kind not weird poor mum was probably exhausted

BradleyPooper · 31/12/2016 01:00

Sounds lovely of you. Obviously you couldn't take someone else's baby out of sight and outside the restaurant and you didn't need to because she calmed down inside the restaurant.

Glitteryunicorn · 31/12/2016 01:00

You sound lovely, you probably made their night

TrustySnail · 31/12/2016 01:03

Your fellow diners were doubtless profoundly grateful, whatever the baby's parents thought.

Munstermonchgirl · 31/12/2016 01:03

You sound lovely offering to help, but weren't other customers disturbed by a crying baby? If I'd been the parent in that situation i would have taken the baby outside and only come back in when it was quiet. (Actually id have expressed milk and booked a babysitter Grin )

TyneTeas · 31/12/2016 01:03

I think you were fine Smile

The point it could have been potentially embarrassing was if they hadn't taken your kind offer in the spirit it was made. Once they had accepted no embarrassment at all!

Assuming you are a parent, either you had an exceptionally non-crying baby or your dh has not taken an equal share of settling a crying dc!

oldlaundbooth · 31/12/2016 01:08

That is an amazing thing to do.

Mum got to finish her meal and baby back to sleep?

Result! Xx

HerodZackHunt · 31/12/2016 01:08

If I see a newish mum looking like she's struggling I usually try to give a sympathetic smile or offer a pair of hands (mum in coffee shop struggling to remove a snowsuit - would you like me to pull that down while you hold her up?). Generally they say they're fine and you say they're doing well.
If she was in tears and handed over the baby then that's out of the ordinary and you definitely did a good thing. Flowers

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 31/12/2016 01:08

FWIW I loved it when people did this when DD was a newborn. I've also been at the local pool and people have taken her for a walk (in the water) while I have a swim. Bliss!

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/12/2016 01:10

Would be totally normal in other countries. I love it.

kimann · 31/12/2016 01:16

You sound lovely! If it was my baby I would have been so bloody grateful. Flowers for you!

Chunder · 31/12/2016 01:21

I think it was a very kind thing for you to do and those parents will probably never forget it.

When my son was tiny we moved hundreds of miles away from our families, we were totally alone and felt so lost. About a week after moving we decided to go out to eat on an evening. Halfway through the meal my son started getting noisy and whingy so OH and I started shovelling our food down so we could leave so he didn't disturb people. I was just about to get up and leave my food to take DS outside when a lady I had never seen before said to me, "I'll hold him, shall I? You sit down and enjoy your dinner!" and she picked him up and walked all around the restaurant, introducing him to her friends and telling everyone what a gorgeous little baby he was. OH and I finished our food, DS was happy to have so many different people fussing over him. It was brilliant and just so kind. It was 5 years ago and I still think about that lady. I wish I'd bought her some wine or something.

Original poster
DontGoRihannonStay · 31/12/2016 01:22

I used to go to a cafe where the staff helped out with things like this and I was always so grateful (my ds is now 22 months and no one offers to hold him lol) it just seemed like a natural thing to do. I have been that crying mum in a restaurant. They just looked so embarrassed it really upset me because babies cry, for no reason sometimes!

OP posts:
MakeMyWineADouble · 31/12/2016 01:22

Absolutely not!! You offered to do a favour for a someone struggling that is lovely!! If the mum wasn't ok she would have made a polite excuse!! The fact she handed bubs over means she really needed that help be proud!

Original poster
DontGoRihannonStay · 31/12/2016 01:23

Chunder holding your beautiful baby was probably reward enough!

OP posts:
Itsallgoodimtold · 31/12/2016 01:23

Can't understand why dh would find this 'embarassing'. I can't imagine being happy for someone I didn't know picking up one of mine, but this mum was clearly comfortable with it. Was she alone?

Itsallgoodimtold · 31/12/2016 01:25

If she was, then I would be inclined to stay very close. If tearful I would involve staff rather than take over xx

Original poster
DontGoRihannonStay · 31/12/2016 01:26

I also remember my dad taking ds out one day and he was struggling to eat plus hold crying ds and an older woman took ds and fed him a bottle while my dad ate his breakfast. She wouldn't take no for an answer! I thought that was lovely

OP posts:
Original poster
DontGoRihannonStay · 31/12/2016 01:28

She was with her husband/partner. After talking to her it became clear that their gorgeous bubba wasn't sleeping much and they were exhausted. They fancied a meal out rather than cooking then regretted coming out because of screaming baby (been there!)

OP posts:
ollieplimsoles · 31/12/2016 01:31

You sound amazing op, I always help a newer mum out in public because people have done it for me in the past with tiny dd.

When I worked as a sales assistant, a woman came in looking for something special to wear for her husbands work do. She had a young baby with her, I think just over a year old. She was exasperated because her little one wouldn't settle and she was about to give up and go home. I took her dd out if the pram (with mums permission) and walked around the shop with her showing her all the jewellery, dresses, shoes etc, while her mum enjoyed trying on an outfit in peace.