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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have offered to held this baby?

156 replies

DontGoRihannonStay · 31/12/2016 00:53

Dh and I visited a local Italian restaurant for dinner tonight. Couple
In with a young baby (about 3/4 months I think)
Baby started crying then mum started crying, seemed embarrassed. I offered to walk about with baby an managed to get her back to sleep while parents finished their meal.
Dh said I was embarrassing and now I am worried they thought I was weird!

OP posts:
frozenfairy123 · 31/12/2016 06:28

Haven't read all comments but if this mum was in tears she wasn't coping and what u did gave her a break. I can see how your partner felt embarrassed as my hubby would be if I got myself involved in another baby whilst out but u absolutely did the right thing! Well done xx

Keremy · 31/12/2016 06:37

Op you did a good think.

I have done the same for new Mums and now my kids regularly adopt babies and small children in cafes so Mum can eat.

There is nothing lonelier than being a new Mum, feeling like crap and struggling.

People have done the same for me too.

In Spain and Italy and places like that it is very normal.

Keremy · 31/12/2016 06:38

*thing

ninenicknames · 31/12/2016 06:39

You're amazing. I would've hugged you & never let you go had that been me 3 years ago.

0hCrepe · 31/12/2016 06:46

Only embarrassing if the parents had been offended which they weren't. It was a lovely thing to do.

PeachBellini123 · 31/12/2016 06:47

They wouldn't have handed you the baby if they thought you were weird.

I agree with MrsTerryPrachett - this would be totally normal in other countries. We went to Greece with DSiL when our niece was about 6 months. She'd always be carried around/entertained by the staff while we ate.

I'm baffled by your husband's reaction.

GhostOfChristmasYetToCome · 31/12/2016 06:50

Well if they accepted the offer they clearly didn't think it was weird. So no issue.

DowntonDiva · 31/12/2016 07:02

Your offer was very kind.

KayTee87 · 31/12/2016 07:06

I think the fact that they accepted meant they didn't think you were weird.
I wouldn't allow a stranger to hold my baby but I appreciate that might be my problem rather than the norm.

soundsystem · 31/12/2016 07:09

I've done this, and had someone do it for me when DD was small. Don't think it's weird at all!

HateSummer · 31/12/2016 07:12

Not weird! My babies all cried as soon as I sat down to eat the little brats. Even when we went out. You're a star!

MiscellaneousAssortment · 31/12/2016 07:12

Very weird and embarrassing to be kind?!

No, in reality a wonderful kind act showing solidarity and general 'we've all been there'-ness. I would have probably cried :)

DartmoorDoughnut · 31/12/2016 07:20

OP you're lovely, currently going through the newborn phase again and I swear he wakes up as soon as I put food on my plate?! Seriously it's every single time!

Loving all the helpful MNers on this thread, making me all happy and slightly tearful bloody hormones Flowers

NorksAreMessy · 31/12/2016 07:20

I do this regularly, to the embarrasment of DD.
Now when we see a baby in a restaurant, Dd says 'try not to snatch that baby, Mother', but offers have always been gratefully received, sometimes to the point of tears.

It is a little moment of solidarity between mothers.
And I think DD is jealous :)

londonrach · 31/12/2016 07:30

These last 5 months have shown me how kind the general public is. Another one whos had help from random strangers and please keep offering. nothing beats a baby hug anyway. Well done op you gave a lady more than a break to enjoy her meal...

Goingtobeawesome · 31/12/2016 07:33

I'd been mortified when I member of staff told me I couldn't breast feed in their cafe so was so grateful when a lady offered to old DS while I went to the car. It was only my first or second trip out alone with him. I was so embarrassed when I got back and his cloth nappy had leaked wee all over her trousers. She was so kind and said it didn't matter at all.

We all need a bit of help at times.

MudCity · 31/12/2016 07:34

It's a wonderful thing to do....you saw a situation where you could help, and you did.

Your kindness made a difference and it is something that couple will always remember.

karigan · 31/12/2016 07:35

The lovely lady who runs our local swooped in when my DD was about 3 months old and has started crying whilst I was still eating my dinner in her pub. I was about to abandon my food in favour of calming the baby but she took her off me and spent 20 minutes walking DD around and chatting to her whilst I ate my first hot food for days!

She's ace.

IamWendy · 31/12/2016 07:36

keremy, my kids are the ones often being adopted by other kids! If it weren't for the likes of your kids, I'd spend my day out being clung on, swung on, pockets being raided etc, so I am eternally grateful for these lovely children! Always restores my faith in humanity.

StealthPolarBear · 31/12/2016 07:39

When ds was about one we went out just the three of us for the first time. There were a couple of ladies on tbe table next to us and they chatted to ds and distracted him while we ate. It was amazing to actually have a relaxing meal!
From what they said I later realised it was an mners mum :)

aforestgrewandgrew · 31/12/2016 07:40

It's a lovely thing to do. I would have been very grateful.

What's your DH's problem? Doesn't he recognise the kindness? What's he embarrassed about exactly?

Xmasbaby11 · 31/12/2016 07:42

I personally wouldn't offer and I wouldn't let a stranger hold the baby. If there are two adults, you take it in turns to eat / calm baby.

It does seem like a really nice thing to do though so I don't know why i wouldn't feel right! Maybe it's just not the norm around here.

Mummyoflittledragon · 31/12/2016 07:47

Lovely gesture. Keep doing what you're doing.

Pardonwhat · 31/12/2016 07:57

The only weird thing here is that your partner finds being kind embarrassing.
Lovely thing to do. Bless you x

INeedNewShoes · 31/12/2016 08:10

I did this at a soft play place. The mum had her 5 yr old son and her baby with her and her older child got stuck in the soft play and was crying. I offered to hold the baby so that she could clamber up the soft play and retrieve her son. We had already chatted a bit before this happened so it didn't seem weird at all but even if this hadn't been the case I'm sure she still would have been grateful for the help!

What you did was thoughtful and useful and probably saved this couple's evening out!