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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have offered to held this baby?

156 replies

DontGoRihannonStay · 31/12/2016 00:53

Dh and I visited a local Italian restaurant for dinner tonight. Couple
In with a young baby (about 3/4 months I think)
Baby started crying then mum started crying, seemed embarrassed. I offered to walk about with baby an managed to get her back to sleep while parents finished their meal.
Dh said I was embarrassing and now I am worried they thought I was weird!

OP posts:
ColaSpangles · 31/12/2016 01:38

That was a lovely thing to do and your DH needs to chill out and appreciate his warm and caring wife :)

YellowBucket · 31/12/2016 01:41

I think it was a really kind offer. I have a lovely friend that I met from doing the very same thing. She had a small baby, a toddler and a tray full of food. Every time she sorted one, the other cried and then finally she did too.
I offered to hold the baby, DH talked to the toddler and she ate lunch. Ironically we'd booked our 2 into nursery so we could have a quiet day out alone...

SparkleShinyGlitter · 31/12/2016 01:45

God i'd love you!
I'm sure if the parents thought you was weird they would of declined, but as the bit your hand off I'd say they loved it

In the cafe last week having my coffee and cake and baby glitter wouldn't stop crying, a lady came over and asked if she could pick her up so I could finish in peace. Hell Yes! That women was a star, if I could of taken her home with me I would of

ScreechingWeasel · 31/12/2016 01:45

OP you did an amazing thing.

RedastheRose · 31/12/2016 01:48

No it was a lovely thing to do and your DH should think less about what other people think and more about being kind!

I went out with a group of women 3 weeks after having my eldest daughter 22 years ago. Just as my dinner arrived my DD started crying, I was getting frazzled as a new mum and interrupting all the other diners, the Maitre'd came over and took my daughter out of my arms and said he would look after her while I ate, he then carried her around the restaurant doing his job while I ate my dinner in peace. It was such a kind gesture and so gratefully received and I have never forgotten him for being so kind.

Italiangreyhound · 31/12/2016 01:49

How kind of you.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 31/12/2016 01:51

Poor mum was crying with exhaustion, bless her, and. You saved the day. Giving your help was a lovely gesture.

What a sad depressing bloody planet we live on, when. Helping others and doing selfless acts for no reward is seen as embarrassing.

ohtheholidays · 31/12/2016 01:53

Your husband should be proud of you OP!

It's lovely when someone offers a helping hand to someone else for no other reason than they wanted to help.

I've done the same and more than once to help other parents out.
We have 5DC we know how hard it can be.

GimmeeMoore · 31/12/2016 02:07

I always remember a venturing out,baby1 ,dp,me in a restaurant
Grisly baby,grisly me trying to eat,jiggle baby,and have a grown up dinner
A lady came over commented on baby,assessing situation offered to walk baby. She remained in sight, I swear she was like a bloody horse whisperer to our baby. It was a gracious,spontaneous thing she did. To walk,jiggle and entertain our baby. Too tired to catch her name, wish I had,it was a really kind act

GimmeeMoore · 31/12/2016 02:09

DontGoRihannonStay, you did a lovely thing

user1479745061 · 31/12/2016 02:21

Joining the chorus to say what a lovely, kind thing you did. I'd have been unendingly grateful!

Baylisiana · 31/12/2016 02:26

They got to finish their meal. I have observed that people who have or have recently had small dc eat bloody fast, they never know how long they've got before the meal has to be abandoned. So you did a good thing. I bet you made them feel much better about things too.

Chelazla · 31/12/2016 02:31

I think you're lovely! I know it offends some people but Used to make me chuckle when (nearly always nans) did this (but gave you no real option)!

KC225 · 31/12/2016 02:40

I had premature twins and remember one of the first times I took them out alone into town. I misjudged the time and couldn't get on the bus with a double buggy. About 4 buses went passed so I walked to a quieter stop. I sat down and one of them started crying, so I picked that one up. A woman, I would say early 60s sat next to but stared straight ahead. Then the other baby started crying. I felt so alone and overwhelmed, the bus was full now and I could feel myself getting teary as people were beginning to stare. Without warning the woman slammed her bag on the floor, leaned over unclipped the second crying baby and lifted it out of the buggy and began to cuddle it. She didn't say one word. I looked at her, stunned and she said. 'Me Grandmother, it's alright.' Turns out she was Italian and visiting her son and his family over here. I was so bloody grateful, I can't tell how much that meant to me. Reached my stop with a teary face but two calm babies.

I suspect, she needed a moment or few and years later she will remember your kindness.

CrazyGreyhoundLady · 31/12/2016 02:42

My baby is ten weeks and cries almost every time I put her down. I have no family support just me and dp along with pnd and I would have found it hard not to kiss you in thanks! You were not weird and neither you nor your dp have reason to be embarrassed. As PP have said if the mum felt uncomfortable she could have declined the help, the fact she accepted means she appreciated it!

I mean this in an incredibly nice way; I hope karma visits you soon! After doing such a lovely thoughtful thing you should have something fabulous coming your way! Flowers

ICantThinkOfAUsernameH · 31/12/2016 02:44

That is so kind.
With ds1 I often got flustered in public and had pnd so thought people were judging when he cried, something like that would have been greatly appreciated :)

user1477282676 · 31/12/2016 02:44

Oh no you were lovely to do that! I had a lovely time once in an Italian restaurant in London...our new DD aged about 2 months was yelling and the waitress took her off us and walked around with her and all the staff congregated at the bar to coo over her.

kittymamma · 31/12/2016 02:49

Perfectly normal...

I went out shopping with my 5 yr old DD and then 3 month old DS. My DD managed to lock her inside the customer toilets. I turned around and surveyed the room for a potential baby holder, I got as far as "Would you mind ..." when a woman in her 50s headed straight to me, arms ready to hold the baby. Not weird, but helpful, and lets be honest, there is nothing quite like a baby cuddle!

Kmxxx14 · 31/12/2016 02:56

No I think that's a lovely thing to do.

I have a 3 month old & was doing the Xmas food shop last week. My DD got fed up and I had to hold her for the last part of the shop whilst struggling to push the trolley. This woman approached me & helped me to the till, loaded all of the food onto the till then held my DD whilst I packed the bags.

It was the nicest thing anyone has done for me as I was really unsure how I was going to manage to do it. I would have needed to our DD back into the car seat whilst I loaded the food and she would have probably been very unhappy.

I was so grateful

OctopusesGarden · 31/12/2016 03:03

I moved hemispheres when ds was about a month old. Like others upthread i really struggled without either of our families. I particularly remember an older woman smiling at me one day and saying how clever i was raising him. I brushed it off but she stopped me and told me to take the compliment and "keep doing what you're doing". I still well up when i think of her.

OP, you sound lovely. Keep on keeping on.

elliejjtiny · 31/12/2016 03:18

That's so lovely of you. I remember when my youngest 2 were 16 months and 4 months. 16 month old had just had surgery and I was on my own with the 2 of them. Consultant took the little one for me while I went to recovery to bring older one back to the ward. Apparently quite a few nurses kept offering to hold my little one but the consultant was having none of it Grin. She took him off to her office and spent the time showing him how to fill in a blood test form.

AnnaT45 · 31/12/2016 03:22

Ah that's so lovely. I think all new parents appreciate the opportunity to eat a meal in peace! It's not weird at all! In fact once I have my act together it's the sort of thing I'm going to offer to help people with if I see it!

I was in the supermarket the other week and my baby kicked off big style. I had so many people come to help me calm her down whilst I loaded the shopping on the belt. One women said 'is she hungry' I said 'yes' she replied to baby 'I wish I could help but my boobs are no good to you' Grin

hungryhippo90 · 31/12/2016 03:22

Oh gosh, such a lovely thing to have done. I've often thought of helping parents in this way, i never have because I'm not the mostconfident of people, but you probably made their month. Time to eat together without a screaming baby, bless them! Bless you for helping them, when there would have been a few judging!

ChasedByBees · 31/12/2016 03:22

I imagine the mum was incredibly grateful for you.

IAmNotAWitch · 31/12/2016 06:22

Made my day the other day to jokd a screaming baby while her poor mum went to the loo.

I am always offering tobhold peoples babies for them. They usually let me Grin

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