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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU? Brother turning up at 9:30am on a Sunday!?

149 replies

BusyHomemaker · 30/10/2016 13:32

My brother texts earlier in the week saying he and his wife were going to pop round on Sunday with DD's birthday gifts, as it was her birthday on Tues I replied this was fine buy we'll be chilling at home all day due to long day out on Sat. He replied with the caveat that it would be a flying visit - they live over an hour away and we hardly see them.

He is incredibly unreliable so I wasn't fully expecting a visit. Plus that don't drive and public transport on a Sunday is terrible.

At 8:30am I received a text informing me they'd be at hours by 9:30am. I called asking if they were joking and it turned out they were able to catch a lift. I asked for more time and they turned up at 10am.

AIBU to think this is unacceptable?

My family totally lack boundaries!

OP posts:
228agreenend · 30/10/2016 13:36

10am would be fine with me. In fact, if think anytime after 9am would be okay, even on a Sunday. Howevdr, perhaps when they called they should have indicated it was going to be an early visit.

starsinyourpies · 30/10/2016 13:36

Doesn't seem unreasonable to me but I am up well before then anyway!

MauiWest · 30/10/2016 13:38

It completely depends on your relationship with your sibling. I'd be fuming if anyone was turning up so early, APART from my brother, sisters or parents, and a few very close friends. We are close enough that I can be in my pjs, they know how to make a cup of tea, and make me one whilst they are in the kitchen. My family would have just brought brought breakfast from the baker. Really not an issue at all.

baconandeggies · 30/10/2016 13:38

I think yabu unless you made it absolutely clear that he was welcome from X o'clock. Today's 10am was yesterday's 11am so I don't think hwbu - he gave you a text and wasn't banging on the door at an early time.

NapQueen · 30/10/2016 13:39

Meh.

We would be up and dressed by then.

beela · 30/10/2016 13:39

Sounds alright to me, especially as they were making a special trip to deliver presents to your dd.

Original poster
BusyHomemaker · 30/10/2016 13:40

I didn't see the text until 9am. We'd been out from 6:30am to 11:30pm the day before and DD is only 5.

There's been a bit if a build up to this which hasn't helped as my brother can be quite selfish and is frequently rude.

DP was fuming which didn't help.

OP posts:
Waltermittythesequel · 30/10/2016 13:40

Seems fine to me.

champersandgin · 30/10/2016 13:40

Anytime after 9 would be fine with me.

Waltermittythesequel · 30/10/2016 13:41

Your dp is fuming that your brother brought dd a gift?

Nice.

LetsAllEatCakes · 30/10/2016 13:42

Seems fine to me. Anything earlier wouldn't but for a flying visit it's fine.

Did you tell him not to come before a certain time? I don't get the lacking boundries part. Your first part suggests you think him flaky and would cancel so im guessing that you were surprised.

Blu · 30/10/2016 13:43

It was fine!
Especially as the clocks went back.
How much preparation and ceremony do you need to let your brother in for a flying visit?
He made quite an effort to deliver the presents.
I hope you didn't greet him with the lack of grace you feel over the whole thing!

NapQueen · 30/10/2016 13:43

Surely with a 5yo one of you would be awake before now?

Or does she actually lie in??

WaxingNinja · 30/10/2016 13:43

It would have been ok with me.

Sunday is a funny one, 9am is too early, any later than 10.30am and they're likely to be encroaching into lunchtime, mid afternoon means you can't go out and do anything after lunch, blah, blah.

So 10am is a pretty good time for me actually.

LetsAllEatCakes · 30/10/2016 13:44

Why was your dh fuming? It would help to mention a backstory because without one it's not your brother who seems unreasonable

mummytime · 30/10/2016 13:44

I'm sorry but I think YABU.
9:30 or 10 isn't that early. You'd already warned him he wouldn't see you at your best, and he wasn't going to stay.
I had the postman/delivery guy call about that time today - I have a dressing gown it was okay.

HaveNoSocks · 30/10/2016 13:45

I always assume anyone with a 5 year old will be up and dressed by 9am especially since it's just your brother so presumably doesn't require much more than getting some clothes on.

ohtheholidays · 30/10/2016 13:45

No I'm with you OP unless we are going out somewhere on the Sunday we'd all still be in PJ's lazing around,eating our cooked breakfast and watching something good on tv.

TaliDiNozzo · 30/10/2016 13:46

I think it's fine as well. If it was pre-9am then I'd be raising eyebrows but your DB hasn't done anything wrong here at all IMO.

Can't believe your DP is fuming about a family member bringing a present for your DD. Ungrateful much?

Original poster
BusyHomemaker · 30/10/2016 13:46

DP can be quite huffy and moody (of course he has lots of good qualities - those are his worst!) He's not in contact with his own family and I've always been close to mine so there is occasionally friction as he's not used to other people being so involved with his life. To be fair my parents and brother overstep boundaries and I'm working on setting firmer boundaries. Sister has the same issues as me!

Anyway, I digress. From the comments on this thread I think I may have over reacted. We just needed the morning to chill and I should have made that clearer earlier in the week.

OP posts:
GoofyTheHero · 30/10/2016 13:47

Would be fine for me. Anything after 9am is fair game.

rewardformissingmojo · 30/10/2016 13:47

I'd be delighted to see my brother at any time. But then my kids are up at 6ish so we'd be up and dressed if not out by then.

HeckyWithTheGoodBear · 30/10/2016 13:49

I had cleaned and hoovered the downstairs, got me and DD washed and dressed and were at the park by 9.30 Shock surely your DD got you up much earlier than that, especially with the clocks changing? If not I'm really jealous Envy

longdiling · 30/10/2016 13:49

If he's normally not making much of an effort but he's made a point of getting the present to his niece before her birthday then I'd just be pleased about that to be honest.

sandgrown · 30/10/2016 13:50

Maybe the person who gave your brother a lift was coming at that time and he had to fit in with them. Would not bother me. Family take me,as I am!